This post is about confetti. Trust. But first, a massive digression, in the form of a story.
On my way to the train station to drop off the honey, I noticed an odd pattern emerging. Well, not so much a pattern as an extremely frustrating act repeating itself over and over again. I got cut off in excess of SEVEN TIMES. WTF, commute? And I’m not talking smooth cut-offs (if there is such a thing), I’m talking “I’m gonna cut you off, because you have offended me by being on the road at the same time as I have chosen to be” cut-offs. (Is that how you refer to being cut off? Or am I repeatedly bringing to mind acid-wash daisy dukes? Sorry, if I am. Anyway…) Oh, and… AND!… it wasn’t just some Frodo Douchebaggins flaunting his douchebaggery for me to oohhh and aahhh over. Oh, no. I got cut off by an old lady. How do I know this? Because I was in the left lane, minding my own business at 85 mph – kidding, I was just over the speed limit, as it should be in the left lane when, all of a sudden, out of seemingly nowhere, a grey Mazda or something scoots over from the lane immediately to my right almost hitting me and (all together now, in unison)… slows down once it cozies up one inch in front of me. (Why do they all seem to do this?! That’s a whole other story.)
I don’t get road rage (well, not since college – I had a tad more pent up hostility back then), but this was quite an act to pull off. And, obviously, as all potentially accident-causing road moves do, it seemed completely malicious. I didn’t get angry, but me and the boy, we do occasionally like to know who it is who’s wronged us. So I moved over to the right lane and pulled up next to my prey the offending car and, low and behold, it was a REALLY OLD LADY with an old lady’s hairstyle (freshly curled and slightly blue). And in her passenger seat was an EVEN OLDER OLD LADY with, get this, an eye patch. Why? I have NFI. Maybe an accident they had just caused the day before?
We, of course, didn’t give her any trouble, but still. As the boy said:
“If you’re gonna be coming into the left lane, you better be ready to come hard.”
Old ladies are kinda exceptions. Except she almost killed all of us, so not so much. The Car Guys on NPR made a very astute joke the other day about a new law requiring that speed governors be installed in all cars owned by the elderly allowing drivers to go no less than 12 mph. It was funnier when the Car Guys said it, but you get the drift.
Anyway, I wish I could explain this odd sequence of events. Maybe it’s the fact that tomorrow’s the last day of summer? Oh, quick note: tomorrow’s the last day of summer. If you hadn’t heard. It’s officially over at 11pm tomorrow. I hope I didn’t ruin your day, but if I did, the good news is that the weather’s supposed to get warmer over the next couple days, at least where I am, so that’s good news (if you’re where I am)!
Ok, WHEW! Now back to your regularly scheduled station. CONFETTI!
You might remember my post on all the different ways you can make your exit on your wedding day. Entitled, “After the Ceremony: What You Should Know About What Your Guests Are Throwing at Your Face.” I don’t believe I went into depth about confetti, however.
Funny, because I happen to be a very big fan of confetti. More specifically, pastel. I adore the stuff.
There are lots of ways to get pastel confetti into your life. You can go the DIY route, which is pretty simple, but will take more time than you or your bridal party are likely willing to put in. (If you’re game, here’s how you do it: get tons of pastel paper, grab a few hole punchers in the shape you desire, and have at it with only those with whom you feel you have the strongest, most indestructible friendship bonds. Because this will test those bonds.)
Now, if you’re willing to throw a few bucks into this aspect of your wedding (because it’s worth it, as you can see in the pictures), then pick up some bags of the stuff at your local party store. But I suggest doing the environmentally-appropriate thing, and buying yourself a buttload of eco-friendly wedding confetti, in all four colors.
Throw it all in a large, very cute, very rustic kraft paper brown bag (if I have a say in it) and as the image above shows, stick the confetti cones near the bag, so that all of your guests can scoop up a portion and slam you in the face with it. Joke’s on them, though, because the stuff’s light as air! Especially if you choose very thin paper. Though the thinner it is, the smaller the trajectory from cone to your face. But it might be quite pretty to be flanked by columns of falling confetti as you exit. I can just imagine the photos. OMGDOTHAT.
* * *
ANSWER TO YESTERDAY’S MARCHESA GOWN PUZZLER:
Of the six *special* gowns I posted yesterday, here’s the answer regarding which one I would actually consider wearing. Drum roll please! … No?… no drumroll?… what? The guy’s not here? Why, what happened? He went home sick? Oh. And he took his drums? Oh, hmm, ok. Umm, anyway, peoples, here’s the answer:
The least offensive of these two…
Answer: this one!
Yay! If you picked “The movie Alien reimagined as a dress“
… Thank you! You have chosen a dress that helps me to know that we probably don’t have an incredible amount of things in common. You’ve saved us both a lot of time, and with my busy schedule, it won’t go unappreciated. Now, hurry along. Git.
Ok, I have a question: Do you have plans for your exit? Are you thinking of using confetti? Have any of your own ideas?
xoxo! – Alison
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