LOVE ADVICE + FASHION | When your relationship takes a back seat to wedding planning + my bridal look obsession.

Happy New Year, friendlies!  Welcome to a brand new year, with a gazillion brand new bits of wedding inspiration, giveaways, fashion, advice, news and just general pretty pretty prettiness on The Knotty Bride!  I’m so excited about 2011; we’ve got so much in store for all of you, and it’s blowing my mind to smithereens.  Ok, here we go with today’s post…

*FIRST QUICK TIP OF 2011*

Buy up all of the leftover white Christmas lights at your local grocery store or Target or whatever savings warehouse you frequent for Mom & Pop destroying bargains.  I found some lights this weekend for one dollar.  They were 75% off.  That is an amazeballs price.  It took everything in me not to buy up all of them.  And now I wish I had.  Stupid.  Stupid.

If you love pretty lighting, you should DEFINITELY buy up discounted holiday lights.  They’re perfect for an outdoor reception, obvs., tent or no tent.  And white Christmas lights are my absolute favorite kind of lighting!  P.S. – I had them in my dorm room in college.  :)

*FREE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY GIVEAWAY UPDATE*

Emily and I are announcing the four finalists of this giveaway THIS WEEK... who knows, it might even be tomorrow.  Stay tuned. :)

I heart Etsy.  It’s just got this new way of leading me to exactly what I want to find, while still making me think that I discovered it all by myself.  Feeds my ego and filters out the not-so-hot stuff.  Bravo!  Anyway, the designer I’m featuring today is Claire La Faye, and it’s not just the dress with which I’m obsessed.  Also, go rhymes!

I love dresses.  And I know the vast majority of you guys do, too.  It’s just a fact of life; dresses rock.  And, in deeply challenging and emotional times, they can provide that wonderful jolt of [artificial] happiness some of us so desperately need to help ease the sorrow.  Case in point → In the painfully shortsighted and remarkably superficial words of some idiot on VH1′s (E!’s ? I don’t know and I don’t care) My Big Friggin’ Wedding whose mother definitely dropped her when she was a baby, “If I don’t get an answer from Danny, I don’t think I would cancel the wedding, because, you know, my dress is so beautiful, and I love to wear a dress.  And there’s always an annulment.  So I’m sure that we can get through this little hump, it’s not that big of a hump, I just wish it wasn’t happening a week before the wedding.

You guys, I wish I was joking about that quote.  Brief backstory: the bride is convinced that her fiance cheated on her in some fashion during his bachelor party.  He ended up admitting that he didn’t want to tell her about the strippers because he knew she’d flip out.  Who knows who’s right.  All I know is that you guys owe me BIG for sitting through these ridiculous shows just so I could report back to you here on the blog–what’s that?  You never asked me to do that?  Hmm.  You win this round, readers.

By the way, the saddest bit of all of this is that there’s concern she might be pregnant, and the show continues to chronicle her late night drinking shenanigans.  There is something so inherently wrong about this.  I pray she isn’t actually pregnant, and is just one of those girls who likes to lie for attention, but, that aside, I think that the producers need to intervene.  It’s REDONK that they just film her while she does this.  It gets me pretty mad.

Anywho!  I just had to share that quote with you guys.  I mean, the girl is more concerned with getting to have her wedding and wear her wedding dress, than she is with the quality of her relationship – a relationship which, by the way, is quite ridiculous and headed for disaster.  But perhaps an even scarier notion is how many women out there are indeed similar to her.  She’s an extreme example, of course, but you’ve got to wonder… how easy is it to get so wrapped up in and distracted by the planning of a wedding, that one might lose focus on the important things, like the relationship upon which all of that stuff is centered.  I dunno, just something to think about and keep in mind. :)

Here are a couple of tips, for fun, since I know you guys aren’t ridiculous (but also for serious, because even the best of us need a little reminding of what’s important):

-Keep your groom involved.  Be sure to make big decisions – re: the venue and the band/DJ, for example – with him.  Also, if he’s not too crafty, be sure that his personality gets infused into the Big Day by asking him his opinion on such details as the lighting, or the color scheme, or the escort cards, etc.  If his interest is waning, or if he’s extremely resistant to any involvement, you should probably have a chat and try to get to the bottom of why that is.

-Whatever you do, DON’T let yourself get completely consumed by wedding planning.  It’s easy to get so hyper-focused that the topic of your wedding reigns supreme over any and all conversations.  Please don’t let this happen.  Make sure date night continues as normal, make sure you get some discussion about football, or computers, or whatever it is that your boy likes, and throw in some news or politics for good measure.  Just, whatever you do, don’t make him talk about wedding stuff all the time.

-Work out the bachelor party thing EARLY.  Some guys don’t give two craps about having a bachelor party, and even more men who do plan to have one don’t actually want a stripper there.  Yeah.  Strippers aren’t necessarily the norm these days.  But there are also a lot of guy friends who look forward to their buddy’s bachelor party in the way that they would look forward to the Superbowl – and, remember, typically it’s the friends who plan the shindig.

We’re all different, and while some of us don’t really care what our guy does at his party, many of us do.  It’s natural.  And here’s the great thing: if you sit down and discuss one another’s desires/concerns/fears/needs way before the planning of said party gets underway, it’s almost a guarantee that you’ll be able to work out something that pleases both of you, and allays any fears you may have.  If he *did* want to have strippers at his bachelor party, he’ll most likely change his mind about it once he hears how much the thought of it makes you uncomfortable.  At the end of the day, he loves you, and wants you to be happy.  Feel confident in this fact and go from there.

*MOVING ON TO FASHION*

I am OBSESSED with the styling going on in Some Kind of Wonderful by Claire La Faye.

I can’t take it.  It’s, it’s just – it’s, I just… I love it.  I want to have babies with this look.

It’s a rare day that I stumble upon such a grand, delicate veil situation like the one we’re seeing today.  I adore the beaded head piece gently placed on the crown of the head, beneath which lies a thin, white veil, wrapped around the face and neck.  It’s breathtaking, and I encourage you to consider it.  What gorgeous photos you’d get outta that!  Am I right?!!  I’m right.

One thing: If you decide to go with this look, just do me a favor – make sure the material you choose for your veil is breathable.  I *do not* want you to have a sweaty face in all of your pictures… or, worse yet, have a dead face.  So, yeah, make sure you can breathe through it.  If you can, then all systems go!

Ok, yes, I know you’re not an idiot.  But disclaimers are just necessary sometimes.  You never know if a bride from My Big Friggin’ Wedding is reading.

xoxo!  – Alison

*CELEBRITY BREAKUPS*

Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin have split after 8 years. MORE SHOCKING: MILA KUNIS DATED MACAULAY CULKIN?!!  FOR 8 YEARS?!!

*RANDOM KNOTTY TIP TIME*

Hating people is the most strenuous work in the world.  It saps energy, it’s feckless, and it makes you mean.  Opt for love.

Label(s): "DEAR TKB..." Advice Column, Color, White, {Fashion}

Love all of this...

14 comments

  1. Kelly Sauer on January 3, 2011

    That veil is positively exotic – almost “Arabian,” definitely beautiful! Wow…

    Reply
  2. lizzie [love your way] on January 3, 2011

    such a pretty look, alison…i completely agree about the bachelor party – we established early on what we both had in mind…luckily it was the same, ha.

    Reply
  3. gigi on January 3, 2011

    Love that gown!!! The veil is exquisite.

    Reply
  4. Emma on January 3, 2011

    Absolutely gorgeous. Love Claire La Faye! And, yes, bought some lights at Target myself this weekend!

    -E.

    Reply
  5. Jen on January 3, 2011

    YES! Another person who adores white lights! They’re all we use in our house :)

    Love that dress AND the veil. Very pretty.

    Reply
  6. Kristin @ BonaFideBride on January 3, 2011

    You just made me laugh, multiple times. I think the ‘dead face’ comment serves as your ‘do not try this at home’ disclaimer. And on a serious note, I totally second the ‘do not let your wedding get in the way of your marriage’ notion.

    Reply
  7. Lena on January 3, 2011

    Those gowns are amazing-what did we do before Etsy?!

    As for My Big Friggin’ Wedding, something that as a New Jersey native I’ve watched in total horror, I can’t believe how every one of those women neglected their relationship in favor of the big day! Your advice about keeping your future hubby close is fantastic-too bad it can’t help all those Jersey girls!

    Reply
  8. makeupbyjanine on January 3, 2011

    I can’t stand when wedding talk takes the place of the usual fun convos with my honey. Honestly sometimes (okay a lot) we want to elope to escape all the ridiculous wedding crap we’ve gotten ourselves into. But… Then I’m distracted by something shiny (hello DIY tassels) and I’m back in it. *le sigh*

    Reply
  9. Amy-Jo Tatum/Bride Chic on January 4, 2011

    Gorgeous dress. Very original design . . .

    Reply
  10. Margaret Ivory on January 4, 2011

    Thanks for bringing commonsense to nonsense…the main point of a wedding is the marriage. Too many times more effort is put in the wedding and nada to the marriage…may be why so many end up in divorce court. I would like to encourage all engaged couples to get premarital counseling before the “I Do” part. Many issues can be ironed out then and the marriage part will then be fun and enjoyable. I should know, I have been happily married for 31+ years.

    Reply
  11. the joielala girls on January 6, 2011

    wow… this is stunning!

    Reply
  12. ALAN on January 10, 2011

    krissi and drew

    Reply
  13. ALAN on January 10, 2011

    Krissi and Drew!!!

    Reply
  14. Jennifer F on March 19, 2014

    Where can I find this dress….

    Reply

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