Because sex with a human chipmunk seems hot on paper but in reality it’s an unforgiving game of just-the-tip for the rest of your life, diminutive actress Hayden Paahhneehtiehrrhe and professional huge person/boxer Wladimir Klitschko have called it splitsville today.
By the way, I feel like I called this, and I appreciate you, J, dear reader and all-around stellar girl, for letting me know of their break-up so I could bring this thing full circle today. I don’t even know why I hesitate to predict things like this anymore; I think I just need to go with my gut on celebrity relationships from now on and pontificate. Because there’s no way he wasn’t having sex with her lungs. (Have you seen those two together side by side?)
As an aside – as if there’s any continuity in my posts, ever – I should probably say thank you guys for all the vajayjay term/phrase suggestions on Twitter earlier when I mentioned I was struggling to find the right way to slangify it. I am now fully stocked on hoo-haa synonyms and am anxious to get out there in the world and start working them into my everyday vernacular.
Another aside while we’re at it – it’s my honey’s birthday today :) Happy Birthday, sweetheart! I love you :)
Now, there’s really no clean way to segue from all that salacious nonsense above, so I’m just going to move on to what we’ll call Part Deux.
~ Part Deux ~
It was bound to happen. And it may or not have been my ultimate goal, but we’ve been getting a sprinkling of doggy-related wedding/engagement shoot submissions and OMGILOVEIT.
I got really excited when Jona and Jerry of Forever Photography Studio submitted Casey and Austin’s engagement shoot. Yes, there’s a dog involved. Obvs., I’m already panting heavily with my mouth open and my tongue out. But it’s not just the dog that makes me love this shoot, because he’s like 1.3% of the whole thing. What is it? It’s the love and care and meaningfulness that’s infused into the whole thing. I LOVE IT when engaged couples put real thought into their shoots, because, besides love, what’s better than creating images that speak to you, to your bond, and to your experiences with one another? Those are like the BEST KINDS of images, if you ask me.
Casey and Austin were inspired by Austin’s proposal, which explains the fabulous picnic scene. He’s a honey, that Austin.
I love that. That’s awesome. I wanna reenact my proposal ON THE DOUBLE. Right after we celebrate your birthday, ok honey?
Unexpectedly meaningful fashion rundown that essentially brought me to tears half-way through:
Dresses: White Dress from Victoria’s Secret, Coral Dress and sweater from Target / Jewelry: The sandcast, cross earrings I wore were from the Houston Rodeo and the gold earrings were Stella & Dot!! / Quilt: The quilt was Austin’s Mother’s / Boots and belt: My boots and belt were from Austin’s Mother Calene Camreon who passed away in 2009 :( I never met her but our initials are the same which is very near and dear to my heart! You can see the initials on the belt. Austin’s boots and belt were his Father’s who also passed in 2009.
The puppy: COWBOY!!! Our Fox Red Lab, 5 year-old, energetic son! He is our pride and joy ( and our ring bearer for the wedding!)
Austin & I met in October 3, 2009 on my Mother’s birthday. She was out of town in the Bahamas with a best friend of hers. Austin was on vacation with his Brother, Hunter, and friends for a Poker Run off the coast of Sarasota, FL (where I am from). Austin owns a go-fast boat of which they were driving. I was out with a girlfriend at a sports bar that night and was dancing. I left that bar and went next door to another. Austin was there and grabbed my attention. He said he has seen me dancing at the previous bar. We were…. well our brains were floating in a bit of alcohol…. I didn’t remember his name nor did he remember mine. I put him in my phone as Texas. Austin was living in Fort Worth at the time. He called me 2 nights later. HAHA…. I though he answered with “This is Awesome Cameron from Texas”! Like his first name was Cameron and he was telling me he was Awesome! We had a great conversation and then many more that week. He came in town 2 weeks after our initial meeting for our first date! SO ROMANTIC!! I was in love… so after 5 months of flying back and forth every other weekend to see each other, I decided to move to be with him!
The picnic scene from our engagements has significance. Austin propsed right after our first picnic while in Oklahoma for Thanksgiving last year! It was so romantic…. horseback ride, picnic, PROPOSAL!!! To top it off, he flew my parents in from Florida and my best friend in from Los Angeles!! I have one amazing fiance!!!
And now, today with Bambino McPuppyPants, Trick Installment:
Step one: he knows something’s about to go down… he can sense it… and by sense it, there’s a carrot in my palm…
↑ GAME FACE
Oops I’m sorry, I thought we were ready, but I can see we’re still a little bit shy.
Ohh, looks like we’re back in it… this time I believe to WIN IT…
He has it, ladies and gentlemen! That, right there, is a high five!
↑ This is him reaping the rewards.
Ok, now you’re just showing off.
Oh… oh wait… you just wanted to play with their pup? OH!
OMG what do you guys think? How cute is this couple, like, for reals. And who else had a feeling Hayden P and Henry the Giant were bound to break it off, before he broke it off OMG I’M TERRIBLE.
xoxo! – Alison
Photography: Forever Photography Studio / Hair & Make-up: Angela Parker with Lucie Marie / My Bronze Glow: Boat Candy in Lakeway / Food: Pies & desserts from Central Market Drinks: Izze from Central Market / Flowers: Central Market