Sigh. Hoowwwww to start off today’s post. I am going to be slamming Vera Wang dresses into your faces, today-style – as in, in this post – but here’s what I’ve been struggling with all morning and afternoon…
I had considered just skipping all the crappity crap that’s transpired as of late… even as of late last night to be specific. I reeaaaallllly wanted to just jump into the Vera segment of this post and essentially make it straight Vera. All Vera, all the time. Vera, OFF THE BAT.
But ALAS. Ashley set up one of the bachelors for marriage-on-contact and someone said “tickle my b***hole” on The Bachelorette last night. So, here we are.
You guys, Ashley set up a bachelor for marriage-on-contact. On their first outing together. They checked out cakes, they checked out rings, and they checked out an officiant at the same time that they checked out marriage vows. Experienced simultaneously, these two put you at high risk for spontaneous legally binding marriage. And dude said “I do.” He said I do, not sure if it was a joke, not sure what the hell was going on… knowing only that Ashley is the kind of person who wants to be able to eff with you within seconds of learning your name, and needs you to prove your unreciprocated commitment to Forever before she can feel comfortable pursuing a televised romance with you. Which is, of course, what they call the healthy approach to relationships in damaged girl land.
Ok, so that was pretty bad, but more distracting than those shenanigans was the “tickle my b***hole” comment, OBVS., made by a young dapper man named Bentley. Terrible, right? Wellllllll… here’s the rub: knowing nothing more about him than his blatantly douchey commentary thus far, I would feel super bad for Ashley about this guy; I mean he’s obviously a bigger dbag than Spencer and Disick combined, which is the ultimate compliment for a man looking to climb to the heights of dbaggery. He’s a bad, bad man. And Ashley’s a sweet, sweet girl.
Ashley was warned of this guy-named-after-a-vehicle, by someone close to him, before the show even started taping. She told Chris, the host, in the premiere episode of the season that she had been informed of Bentley’s bad ways. But she’s pursuing him, so far, hardcore. She’s even begged him to stay if he feels anything at all for her. For real. Therefore, I *do not care* if he screws her over. In fact, I almost kinda sorta hope he continues to coast on her Bieber-like Teen Beat-esque out of control infatuation. She is going to embody a very critical lesson for women everywhere who do this kind of thing to themselves, WITTINGLY. P.S. – I couldn’t even finish the show last night, it was so supremely boring. I don’t even know who got bouts and who got booted. I’m hoping it gets more entertaining down the road. Though I gotta be honest, I definitely wish it was Chantel or crazy Michelle Money. Ohhhh Michelle Money would have been FUN to watch. And I get that the show’s premise is to find love, but c’mon. We’re tuning in to watch two parts find-love, one part witness-first-hand-romantic-train-wreck. Well, at least that’s why I’m tuning in.
I do not have a quality segue for getting out of Bachelorette talk and getting into Vera Wang talk. So here’s how I’m going to do it:
Anywho! VERA FREAKING WANG. (← that’s how the pros do it, y’all. Ok, as I was saying…)
Oh. Mygod. You guys.
If dresses were edible, I’d be filling out an application for Biggest Loser right now, because these dresses? I wanna EAT THEM ALL UP in an effort to suppress my emotions.
The super intimate, super fun, super Bellinified event at Vera Wang‘s shop was all kinds of super, not at all limited to the aforementioned kinds. We got to sit down and sip really delicious cocktails in the early evening while the lovely and very stylish ladies of VW showed off their gowns to us. And for the most part, my jaw was on the floor, as if I’d hatched a plan to catch a roadrunner and that roadrunner bested me yet again. And my eyes flew out of their sockets repeatedly, each time making that AWOOOGA sound – it was all very embarrassing. It’s tough being a cartoon. Wow. I promise I’m not currently drunk. It’s pure lack of sleep that’s causing these prose, I swear it.
But seriously, so much fun was had, and the best part? I get to share my pretty pretty pictures with you. High kick, woot!
By the way, I asked the ladies which dresses were hands down, The. Most. Popular. Vera Wang gowns. So, among them:
This one on the right ↴
This one ↴
This cake was there, too, along with the lovely lady who made it, Ruth Drennan.
… She’s pretty ridiculously good at making zee cakes… eh? :)
She also made the cutest little red velvet cuppies. I know; next time, we’ll see if we can get all of you invited. :)
Bambino McPuppyPants is always eying those golf clubs, and today was no different…
He is *not allowed* to jump off the couch without help, as we like to avoid puppy headaches of the fallen-off-the-couch-head-first variety…
… will he make it off the couch? Will he finally get to those golf clubs?
Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion. :)
And finally, a seriously important tip from the lovely ladies at Vera, which I totes think you should heed if you at all can:
* Purchase your dress 7-8 months out. *
You guys, seriously, you need that much time if you want things to go smoothly.
Ok, SO! What do you think of Vera’s newest collection? Does it tickle your fancy? If it tickles something else, I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT. ;)
xoxo! – Alison
Gowns: Vera Wang / Images: The Knotty Bride