WEDDING PLANNING IS THE BEST AND THE WORST | It’s all in the details on the outside… but, hopefully, we all know what it’s *really* about… right?

Happiest of happy afternoons, dear friends!  How you doin’, eh?  You doin’ aight?  I hope so, I do.  Would you like a massage?  Yes?  Me too, get in line.

Listen, I’m moderately psyched right now because it’s turning out to be a pretty stinking beautiful start to the long weekend where we are, my Mom who I never ever ever get to see is coming over and she’s bringing with her Skinny Girl Margarita Mix, which neither of us have ever tried and sounds promising with regard to belly laughter and shenanigans ensuing, PLUS - and here’s the money part – thanks to Honey and his intrepid researching skills (wikipedia search), I am now the proud owner of the knowledge that the commonly misheard “wrapped up like a douche” lyric from that song Blinded By the Light (which, yes, I’m listening to right now, obvs.) is in fact “revved up like a deuce,” and that “a deuce” is a vehicle people were all about back when “deuce” didn’t mean what it means today.  Which is… well, if you don’t know, ask me.  I don’t know how spectacular I feel talking about deuces on the blog again, at least so soon.  I think it’s too soon.  Yeah.

On a final note regarding this song… I’m sorry, but he says “douche.”  I don’t care what the lyrics say; dude says douche.  Your argument is invalid.

Ok, so, in local news, a holiday weekend (for my Americana-based readers) is fast approaching, and I’m like so totally excited about it.  Hollaaa!!!!

BUT.

Right now, all I can really think about, aside from daintily inhaling some homemade maragaritas with Mom (how cool are we), is how freaking many of my friends are so incredibly overwhelmed by the weddings they’re planning.  More specifically, the emotions (which heighten by a factor of infinite at a certain time of month for tha ladieeez ifyouknowwhatimsayin) go something like this: overwhelmed/excited/anxious/over the moon/freaked out/in love/happy/constipated/ruminative/sick of talking about their wedding with passersby/exhilarated.

If you’re planning a wedding, does ↑ this mishmash ↑ of emotions and afflictions, give or take a few, sound familiar?

And here’s the thing.  It gets to be *a lot* at times.  And embarking on a DIY wedding can often mean that “at times” translates to always and throughout and I don’t even recognize our home anymore with all these DIY projects covering my furniture.  It can all just be incredibly overwhelming.  So, this weekend, if at all possible, maybe try and relax a little bit?  I know it’s hard, you feel like you need to plan plan plan away, and it feels almost impossible to take a full day, or dare I say TWO days, to chill the eff out and reconnect with reality, and with your sweetheart.

But it’s key.  It’s the key to life.  Of course, you probably already knew that, since I seem to have the smartest readers in the universe.  Still, I feel like it has to be said, in this blog post, on the face of the internet, so it really sinks in.

Because isn’t that what it’s all about?  Just standing, motionless, perfectly still, and letting the moment… letting your love… the presence of the people who care about you… and all your hard work… letting all of that…

… sink in?

Methinks.

Ok, now, by special request (Lena)… I present, your Friday installment of A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

Today’s installment: I found this pic from forever ago.  It’s Baby Bambo, the cutest french bulldog in the land.  In my opinion.

:)

So, friendlies, here’s what I’d like to know…

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by some aspect of your wedding planning, or just by the whole shebang altogether?  Or like you wanted to face punch the 14th person in one day who asked you how your wedding planning was going, even though they meant it with all the love and care?  Share below, ’cause I’d really love to know your feelings on this.

And on a different note, do any of the sneak peeks from upcoming features, all the way up top there, catch your eye?  Those human-shaped hedges are a serious wow factor in my opinion.  They’re also FREAKING ME OUT a litte.  And who doesn’t love a handful of gorgeous bridesmaids giggling whilst dressed to the nines?  They’re among some of my favorites…

xoxo!  - Alison

Addendum: If you’re an engaged couple living in Southern California and getting married in 2011, and you’re interested in being considered for a new Bravo TV show, let us know… :)

You can explore more of M David MediaLauren Rae Photography, and Esvy Photography in our guide!

Clockwise from top… Jodi Miller Photography / M David Media / Light Splash Photography / Esvy Photography / Amber Fischer Photography / M David Media Matt’s workin’ overtime in the collage… work it, Matt, work it!!!

Final image: Lauren Rae Photography

Label(s): "DEAR TKB..." Advice Column, {Love + Relationships}, {Vendor Love}

Love all of this...

17 comments

  1. Lena on September 2, 2011

    I’m just going to say this-sometimes I think about planning my future, future (as in 2014) wedding and I get hives. I get hives thinking about how on Earth I’ll pick a location or a dress or flowers or table linens. Because I’m not crazy.

    But I may have hyperventilated a little about this feature goodness, and/or the lack of Bamb photos. I hope that come Monday you’ll have a snapshot of him getting into the Skinny Girl margaritas.

    Reply
  2. Claire Martine on September 2, 2011

    Oh can I please please please be the first to say, uhh.. hello.. amen? I’m a month away Alison. October 1st. My venue decorations have yet to be planned, my mom disagrees with my “vision” of rustic chic and oh my dad? My dad lectures me on upsetting my mother by disagreeing.

    The list of complications is longer than my arm. My maid of honor backed out two months ago citing her life was too busy and she just didn’t have the time to devote her non-working stay at home hours to helping. My aunts can’t seem to come to terms with they fact I invited family regardless of their current disagreements. Our minister double-booked us and we had to switch the game plan. My ex- MOH has now made the assumptions that if I mention how stressful life is (online via fb or twitter) currently that I’m pointing a finger at her. And my punishment? making her children, my fiance’s nieces delete me and block me from their Facebook pages as well.

    Immaturity seems to be a strong theme. I’ve finally stepped up and taken the front stage at our wedding. It took me a year of planning to realize it is about the bride and groom. End of story.

    And perhaps the only point that you’ll care about? –My FH disagrees that our dogs should be included in the big day. Have you seen my little flower girl? http://picplz.com/qfV7

    My, oh my. Next time I’ll just write in my diary.

    Reply
  3. Erin on September 2, 2011

    Hehehe, can totally relate to the feelings of “overwhelmed/excited/anxious/over the moon/freaked out/in love/happy/constipated/ruminative/sick of talking about their wedding with passersby/exhilarated” you mentioned in your post! My wedding is a mere 6 weeks away now, and I have been planning since last October. It’s been a crazy ride, and even though I’m SO excited, it’s definitely extremely stressful. I don’t have a wedding planner, and my fiance isn’t exactly the most helpful when it comes to topics other than the music and cake, so let’s just say I’ve lost a few hours of sleep over the whole thing.

    I do have to say that I am SO excited to see how it all comes together, and even though it feels like a lot right now I know it’ll be worth it, and it’ll be the best freaking wedding any of our guests have ever been to (ha ha ha). Did I mention it’s a 3 day event where all 200 of our guests will be staying at the same resort/hotel in the mountains of VT together?

    Anyway, I guess my bottom line is that every time I feel a little crazed and ::thisclose:: to losing my mind, I remind myself of the wedding’s REAL purpose – a celebration to mark the beginning of a wonderful life with my best friend. And that no one will remember the color of the napkins anyway ;)

    Reply
  4. Elle on September 2, 2011

    Our wedding is 59 days away. Each day seems to add a little bit more stress than the last… I’ve been having so much fun, but I am ready to bring this chapter of life to a close and enjoy real life again. (where in every thought doesn’t lead me back to October 31) :)

    Reply
  5. Lena on September 2, 2011

    PUPPY!

    Reply
  6. Michelle C on September 2, 2011

    My wedding is next Saturday – September 10th – and I feel like the emotional mishmash just gets crazier the closer you get. Instead of spray painting picture frames, I just want to go to the zoo and look at the animals and forbid all wedding talk, because it feels like no one talks to me about anything *except* the wedding nowadays. Your post has inspired me to go ahead and take a breather and soak it all in before it disappears.

    Reply
  7. Dina on September 3, 2011

    Yeah. Wedding planning is hard. Took me 4 months to pick between 2 photogs, the end of which came only because of an awesome bridesmaid’s input (and a game of eeny meeny myney MO! Followed by a last minute chang-er-roo. See why this is so stressful? Cuz I’m insane!). Now, I’ve got more decisions to make. Yay. Got my dress, got my photog. 2 down, 50 billion to go.

    Reply
  8. Elisa on September 3, 2011

    This is so funny- I JUST posted on this a few days ago! I’m totally at this point with my wedding coming up in January. The hardest thing for me has been dealing with my mother… as incredibly cliche as that sounds. She’s incredibly critical and likes to come at me with backhanded comments, such as “Oh, I thought you were going to pick black tuxes. You picked gray? For winter? Okay then….” Drives me insane. But at the end of the day its about what me and the Mr. want, right? I keep telling myself that….

    Reply
  9. natalie on September 3, 2011

    I’m about a year out (June 2012) and it has been ok so far, although I have already had one fall-through with a wedding gown, many fall-throughs with my photographer (had to re-book our engagement photos 4 times) and have gone back to the drawing board to try to find another wedding gown. This has been in the midst of stressing about some health issues. I am stressed to say the very least. But I try to remember that after I get married—after all of the planning is done and we have both said our vows—I have to LIVE with this person for many years. That has helped me focus on what’s really important, because there are many dresses and lots of flowers and in the end I know it’ll be official–even if things are a total disaster along the way!

    Reply
  10. bridal girl on September 5, 2011

    I can totally understand what you are going through. I think most brides experience anxiety especially during the last few days of the wedding. I also went through that same phase and always being with close friends and family made my stress less. And after 8 years of being together, I could say that I am really happy and satisfied with my life with my husband.

    Reply
  11. Liz on September 6, 2011

    I am totally with you. 39 days out, and it’s all overwhelming. People want to talk about NOTHING but the wedding, which is pretty much the LAST thing I want to talk about right now – except for my fiance’s latest DIY home project (ISWEARTOGOD if I have to spend one more night debating the merits of blown-in vs. rolled insulation, I will throw myself off the roof in question).

    For me, the most overwhelming part is feeling a lot of disappointment during what’s supposed to be a HAPPY time. Whenever I ask my parents for help, I’m shot down. My FMIL is increasingly unable to cut the cord and is trying to spend every. single. moment. of our wedding weekend glued to her son. There are the good friends who declined their invitations quickly, and without a word. My MOH planned a bachelorette get-together at the last minute, and now literally no one can come. The FILs? Hardly any are even remotely interested in us, period, and have made it clear that we’re not anywhere on their list of priorities, so a great, warm welcome there. Ugh.

    I know it’s all about the fact that we’re getting married, but as someone who already struggles to keep positive, it’s really tough.

    Reply
  12. Winnie on September 6, 2011

    I’m reading all the comments and my eyes keep getting misty for all these complications. When did planning a wedding become such a pain in the ass? Granted, mine had it’s complications, but they were minimal because I’m a Type-A bossyboots and my reputation preceded me. I was very clear about what my fiance and I wanted, and aside from the photography (which ended up being a gift from my in-laws) we paid for everything and therefore were the only people who made final decisions. This isn’t to say the opinions of others were not important. They were, and they were evaluated accordingly. But most sentences sounded like this, “I hear what you’re saying. And I appreciate your concern, but Stephen and I agree that (inserts solution to utterly ridiculous problem here) is the best way to proceed because it is what we have decided on for our wedding and marriage.”

    While all this is frustrating, it IS great practice for you and your partner to express your opinions as a united front. And if people are still being ridiculous? That’s their issue. They’ll get over it. And if they don’t, how sad is it that they don’t have the maturity to move on. You can’t change someone’s mind if all they want to do is pout for pouting’s sake. And really, who needs more children at an adult affair? :)

    When you get home, tell Future Hubster that you love him, and can’t wait to marry him. At the end of the day, THIS IS ALL THAT MATTERS.

    Reply
  13. Winnie on September 6, 2011

    And Bam, you are adorable. I love your smoochy little face.

    Reply
  14. Nicole on September 6, 2011

    i think you about nailed it with all of the feelings you listed. all of those at the same time sounds about right. but now we are in what i am calling ‘crunch time’ because we have 32 days left! i cannot wait! and i’m reading everybody else’s comments and its so true … It’s like when people who aren’t even in the wedding say ‘oh you picked that place, that’s unusual … how unique, are you sure you can do that? sounds interesting, i’ve never been to a wedding like that’ … it’s about to drive me up a wall. really a wedding reception in an art museum with some lanterns hanging in the ceiling is a crazy town off the wall idea to you? haha

    i think sometimes wedding planning because overwhelming because so many life changes happen at once. in my case, we are getting married AND he just graduated from grad school, got a job in a bigger city 425 miles away, moved there, i just put in my notice at my job, moved all my stuff into his place via uhaul and the interstate over labor day and now im chillin out in an empty apartment full of craft projects and vases waiting on the big day so we can be married, live in a new city, get a new job and be happy happy happy.

    in the end – be confident, love him lots and lots and if you have to put your foot down for what you two want, do it. people won’t remember what type of chair they sat on anyways.

    Reply
  15. Christina on September 6, 2011

    Hi all! I just had to comment on the song lyrics. The guy says “douche” all right. I don’t hear a single “deuce.” That was the first time I ever heard this song. =)

    Yes, wedding planning is overwhelming. I got married 3 months ago (still like to visit wedding blogs for fun–because there are great decorating ideas for other events!), but the emotional whirlwind was exhausting, to say the least. I had what people would describe as an “elegant ballroom wedding,” but because I wanted to personalize it and keep it within budget, I had a ton of DIY projects. I know, right? Who goes the DIY route when you want an elegant ballroom. It took a lot of time and a lot of loss sleep.

    The most overwhelming aspect of wedding planning for me, though, was dealing with family’s wants. We heard our family tell us to do what we wanted, since it was our wedding, after all, but what they really meant was do what they wanted. The wedding should be held here, there, on this date, you should invite this person, have this decor on your table, don’t spend money that, spend it on this!, etc. It was so frustrating for my then-fiance and I because, yes, we wanted to do things our way, but we also wanted to include our families somehow. In the end, we did do mostly what we felt was right, but it hurt that some of our decisions weren’t supported by our family members–some got so upset that they haven’t really talked to us anymore post wedding. And you know what’s strange, they were mad over how much my husband and I decided to spend on the wedding–which was financed by US! Ridiculous!

    Aside from that, our friends and families kept bailing on us at the last minute on things we asked them to help us out with. Understandable, everyone is busy, but it still would have been nice to have those get-together moments as memories. Oh, and we had just gotten a place together and needed to move in STAT!

    Sigh, all I can say to others is to remember that it truly is your wedding. You will remember everything about it, but your guests won’t. So if you want to do something, put your foot down and go through with it. People will get angry and hurt, but no point in begrudgingly doing something you don’t want to. Again, you will remember it.

    But more importantly, remember to take a step back and remember that it’s the day you “start your life” with the person you love the most. =) The rest is just a giant party!

    Reply
  16. Stephanie on September 8, 2011

    Wow. Yes. All of this. Yes. I’m officially 44 days away and I’m in the midst of about fifty-five projects on my DIY wedding. I’ve been really good about getting on things early so that I’m not overwhelmed and, like, glueing ribbons and tying bows at 3:30a the morning of the wedding, but still, it’s just all coming at me like a train.

    And, to be fair, I wasn’t the one in this couple that wanted a big to-do! I wanted to elope, but my fiance was all about the big wedding, so I dove headfirst into it all!

    On top of all this, I travel for work… like, three-to-four nights a week are spent on the road. Over the 44 days until my wedding, I will be on the road 15 nights!!! Oy vey!)

    And my fiance wonders why I’ve been waking up (on my own!) at 4am everyday with my head swimming!

    But in the end, I just can’t wait until I’m married and it’s just him and me. THAT will be wonderful! :):)

    Reply
  17. Em on September 18, 2011

    i am 5 days away from my crazy DIY wedding and i only just discovered your blog!! you are oh so hilarious :) and with all my projects falling around on top of me, studying for exams etc i really needed a good chuckle thanks so much!!

    ps looks like you have amazing taste too

    Reply

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