GLAM WEDDING STYLING + SILHOUETTE CAKE LOVE | Aaaand your Bachelor Pad Recap returns. Some water would be nice. Plus Bam stars in, “Fouffy Face.”

Happy Tuesday afternoo- errr late evening, bubelahs!  How you doin’, you doin’ well?  You feelin’ good?  Weather nice, near you?  I love your shoes today.  How’s the guy, he good?  Yeah, he’s doing well?  Good, good.  ALRIGHT SMALL TALK OVER.

I took my sweet time with this post because a) you know me, that’s what I do but also that’s what perfectionism gets you and, b) I wanted everyone who’s anyone to have the chance to download into their brain stems for ever and ever and ever because it will never stop haunting you, the BP finale, as my California folk *do not appreciate* spoilers, understandably.  And as you know, I am here to serve.  So here’s me, not spoiling things.  Until now, when I start spoiling them.  I do hope it’s late enough in the evening for you!

HOLY MOTHER SEVEN PIGEONS JUST LANDED ON MY WINDOW SILL OUT OF NOWHERE.  AGAIN.  This is exactly like the last time except with six more pigeons = A GAME-CHANGER.  Shock factor was turned up to eleven.  Ohmygod my heart is beating so fast.  Bam is on high alert.  I’m sorry but it is beyond terrifying and I can’t handle these sudden seemingly-planned arrivals.  Lemme calm down for a second.  Here, here’s a bit of today’s inspiration shoot for you to look at, while I recover.  It’ll just take a second.

Ok, I’m back.  Thanks for waiting, awww that was nice of you.  Now, some of you who are on Twitter might remember I tweeted sometime late yesterday about some behind the scenes stuff we were working on all day?  Well it’s BLOGGISTAS RELATED AND I CANNOT CONTAIN MYSELF.  Next week, y’all, is when you’re gonna meet our newest batch of bloggistas.  Some you may already love who are currently out there in the blogging world, and others who are super fresh faces, and you’ll have trouble believing you had survived this long without them in your lives.  So yeah, the psyched-ness factor is in the ON position.  By the way, to say that these fantastic, stylish and super funny and/or hella cool ladies are extremely talented photo-arranging, DIY-creating, fully-entertaining, story-telling geniuses (geniu?  genie in a bottle? genu?  geewuhhoohaagoo?) is the biggest understatement of the century.

Maybe not century.  Understatement, yes.  Century – probably not.  I’m going with understatement, period.  End sentence.

Now, I considered recapping dos programs today – seriously considered it – for one, because Bachelor Pad wrapped up in a nice, succinct three hour slow-drip and two, because I find that the megahousewifosaurus is getting to me *just enough* to get me to want to get to them, by mocking their very existences via playful verbiage on a blog they don’t read (or at least I hope they don’t read.  even though Bravo likes to ask us for help with casting [← BRAGGING WIN]… but… nooooo… they don’t re…. nahh, they don’t read it, right?  nahhh, they don’t.  yeah Imma keep going…)  anyway what actually ended up happening was I DIED BECAUSE THESE SHOWS KILLED MY FACE.

You know those hot tub scenes and Sex Audition Rounds (or, Fantasy Suite Card Dates) I’d been clamoring for in previous BachPad recap rants?  Well I finally got my hot tub scene.  In the form of a very very sad sad very sad moment between two women on Real Housewives of Bev. Hills that was neither hot, nor sex auditioney at least in a sufficiently fulfilling way.  I never thought a hot tub scene on a reality show could make me feel so not sexy, and instead, extremely sorrowful for suffering rich ladies with painful internal turmoil and tight, tight neck cords that remain tight tight tight in the neck during painful conversations that are stressful.

And then, there’s the finale of Bachelor Pad.  Which, aside from a life of regret, gave me

  1. Vienna being a sauseeege
  2. Jackie, who without revealing the reasons behind her breakup with Ames, FULLY FULL-ON REVEALED the exact reasons for their breakup BY BEING THE CLINGIEST DAMAGED GIRL THE WORLD OVER
  3. Ella’s middle name going from “this is for my son CRY CRY I want to buy him a home TEARS TEARS we have so little CRY” to Ella “was that elective nosejob surgery a gift?”
  4. Sweet, sweet wouldn’t hurt a fly Michael being drawn and quartered on live television by those who are supposed to love him the most
  5. Sweet, sweet wouldn’t hurt a fly Michael rocking the hilarious retorts even in the deep deep deepest depths of his despair
  6. Me developing a crush on Michael because of his resilience and brilliant hilarity in-the-clutch
  7. Me getting extremely angry at ABC for concocting this whole faux scenario because I have insider information and I want you to know that Holly and Blake are not in fact, that evil
  8. Me being serious about me being really, really pissed at the writers about this.  Some water would be great.
  9. Maybe a commercial break…?  would be nice.
  10. Me thanking G-d that this season is finally over.

I’ve been trying for the last four seconds to figure out the best analogy for this season of BachPad.  Here’s what I came up with, in those seconds: I think it’s the reality show equivalent of a seven day meth binge.  No no, that’s not right.  People enjoy their meth binges.  They’re the reality show equivalent of coming down from a seven day meth binge, having swallowed nothing but Mountain Dew, cigarettes and all of your most difficult emotions, and having had limited-to-no access to wash cloths or friendship.  Plus you got impaled in your face while coming off the meth.

EEEEEEEE… NOUGH.  Because this killer glam styled shoot, submitted by the utterly fantastic Lottie Fowler of Couture Events by Lottie is here for your viewing pleasure and I’ve been dyyyyying to share it with you guys.  Seriously dying.  The cake ALONE, my friends, my pals.  But also the dress alone.  And the venue alone.  And the hair accessory alone.  And the photography alone.  And the silhouette factor alone.  And the entire styling situation alone.

I die.  Here, die:

And now, I present to you, A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

In today’s episode, I’m drawing from this thing I read about how people apparently enjoy books a lot more when they know the ending ahead of time.  Soooo, here’s the ending to a new saga in Bambo’s life:

I call it, “Fouffy Face.”

Tomorrow, you’ll see a detailed explanation in pictures that will explain in vivid detail exactly what brought Mr. Bam McPuppy from a relatively pristine-mouthed puppy, to…

Fouffy-Faced.*

*In theaters nowhere.  Also, dolphins were harmed in the making of this film.  Also also, it’s not a film.

Thoughts?  Y’know… on anything.

xoxo!  - Alison

Serephine is member of TKB’s Vendor Love.  You can explore more of Serephine in our guide!

Photography: Jonathan Ivy Photography / Design Concept & Coordination: Couture Events by Lottie / Cakes: Sugar Bee Sweets / Stationery: Southern Fried Paper / Floral: Kate Foley Designs / Jewelry: Stella & Dot Rep Leanne Conway / Wedding Dress: Circle Park Bridal / Rentals: Rent My Dust Vintage Rentals / Headpieces: Serephine / Linens: BBJ Linen / Makeup and Hair: Something You Makeup Artistry / Venue: The Library Bar in Warwick Melrose Dallas Hotel

Label(s): Mr. McPuppyPants, The Bloggistas, {Inspiration Shoot}, {Real Weddings}

Love all of this...

23 comments

  1. Lena on September 13, 2011

    Yeeeeeeees-first comment again, for the win! I knew there was a good reason to keep TKB open in a tab all the time, and it wasn’t because keeping too many tabs open will slowly destroy your ability to focus or perform tasks. A blogger told me that, so you know it’s true.

    Since I still haven’t watched F*ckMountain, I can assume that you summed this up to a t. John is really looking forward to watching this while consuming a large quantity of malt liquor.

    I, on the other hand, will be putting our adorable silhouettes on our handtowels and notebooks and walls, as inspired by this shoot.

    Reply
  2. Claire Martine on September 13, 2011

    Okay First. I have a slight chance at beating Lena.

    Maybe.
    Secondly, I totally watched RHOBV and oh man, I’m digging on her giant BC house that waaaaaaaahhhh she has to get rid of. Also, what was up with that white muff of a hat?!

    This wedding is gorgeous, very classy way to pull of red and black without the Gothic vamp look.

    Reply
  3. Claire Martine on September 13, 2011

    so sad.

    Reply
  4. Samantha on September 13, 2011

    We had an absolute blast working with this great team on this awesome shoot! Love the glam look!

    Reply
  5. Libby {Follow the Wife} on September 13, 2011

    things i love: that wedding dress, those fortune teller/cootie catches
    things i do not love: that just flushed three hours of my life down the toilet to watch the BP finale.

    Reply
  6. Lauren B on September 13, 2011

    SHUT UP THAT NECKLACE. I WANT IT IN MY LIFE NOW. Oh, and I watched Bachelor Pad right there with you…its so cray-cray it makes me feel so much better about myself.

    Reply
  7. Kristine {In Love, Engaged} on September 13, 2011

    DEAD. That cake is fuh-reaking ridiculous. So is that bride’s hair. And necklace. And dress. She reminds me of a very glam, less 80′s version of Baby in Dirty Dancing. Anyone else with me? No? Oh well. Perhaps I’m just having Patrick withdrawals (who doesn’t?!). Oh my gosh. I just went back and looked at her again. Dead times TWO. In other news, I have no idea what Fouffy-Faced means but I. am. excited to find out.

    Reply
  8. Bayleigh on September 14, 2011

    I think my favorite show of the WHOLE SEASON was Vienna’s exit. Her smile-turned-sobbing was so funny that we rewinded it. 4 times.

    Reply
  9. Elle on September 14, 2011

    Wedding shoot was gorgeous, but honestly…. I want some of that furniture. I will take a vintage leather pin tucked couch any day. And the bride’s necklace reminded me of Liz Taylor – the big, indulgent elegance – it’s beautiful and timeless.

    Reply
  10. bridal girl on September 14, 2011

    So elegant! So beautiful! Everything looks so perfect. I especially love the cake and the couple! Love it!

    Reply
  11. Ashley on September 14, 2011

    Hey, I read then end of that article ;) I am going to enjoy the crap out of tomorrow!

    Also, I love the Vanity Fair glamour, the disinterested looks over the shoulder, the snifter in one hand/cigar in the other. Perfect for the glamour they were going for. Love!

    Reply
  12. invitation consultants on September 14, 2011

    LOVE LOVE LOVE the silhouettes – new fave wedding trend?

    Reply
  13. Brenda's Wedding Blog on September 14, 2011

    Now this is glam done right – LOVE the red and black color combo. I actually just created a black and red wedding board on pinterest this morning :) The cake, the flowers, the necklace – it’s all absolute amazingness.

    Reply
  14. Annie on September 14, 2011

    This shoot is very Mad Men meets starlet boudoir to me…I think its the combo of cigar, scotch, suit and feathers, who knows? Its very sexy, and I am super fan of that cake. BTW, hi, I’m new to commenting, love this blog to pieces. Might be a guilty pleasure to visit during my lunch breaks at work ^_^

    As for foufy-faced, that looks like the tale-tell signs of a dead rope toy…or a dying one at least. I’ve got a moppy-headed cockapoo…he goes foufy-faced all the time, more like foufy-bodied, he gets really into his work :P

    Reply
  15. Once Upon Your Day -- Julia on September 14, 2011

    First off, BP I actually yelled out with joy when Vienna was kicked off, second do we really beleive Kasey?? I also can’t beleive that ABC did that to Michael.
    Second, I love that styled shoot!

    Reply
  16. Alicia @CharityWedding on September 14, 2011

    I need way more double dose servings of modern glam on my daily plate please. There just isn’t enough and I go into glitz withdrawal. I love vintage, rustic like I love Thanksgiving dinner but I can’t eat it every day. I’m stuffed. Keep this mod stuff coming. New shows are starting. Watch one that I can watch. This is the last warning.

    Reply
  17. Hillari on September 14, 2011

    Mother eff, this wedding just rocked my face off. I wish I could be best friends with this couple…everything about every single picture located above is friggin’ genius. Oh and Alison…wouldn’t mind a little BFF action coming from your direction either! I’m more than a little obsessed with TKB. Not in a creepy way. Promise.

    Reply
  18. Hillari on September 14, 2011

    PS I missed the fact that this was a styled shoot…but everything’s still true.

    Reply
  19. Whitney on September 15, 2011

    I’m going to sit here in silence stunned by the wonder that is this shoot. The awesome thing? I would totally have everything about this as my wedding, and I have a great distaste for the red and black palette. But this is one is so purdy and glam. Mmmmm lovely.

    BP2 makes me all stabby. That being said, I would have totally watched the finale, but since I made the hubby go to a Hanson concert two weeks ago, I have given up control of the remote. ::sigh::

    Reply
  20. Vintage Whistles - Vintage Menswear on September 20, 2011

    Wow! I love the images, the rich reds look so glam, fabulous!! xxx

    Reply
  21. Sara on October 12, 2011

    Thank you for this blog. Thats all I can say.

    Reply
  22. Kerrie G on July 7, 2012

    I love the strong colours in this wedding theme – talk about making an impact.

    Reply
  23. Barnabas Clothing on August 19, 2013

    Amazing Wedding shoot and perfectly dressed up. I like it.

    Reply

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