Hello there, my pretties. It’s a lovely Wednesday evening, a little before 8pm in nyc, and after proofing her post, mama’s pretty sure she’s gonna need to start things off with a fair warning:
This is quite likely the most insane out of hand post I might have ever written. And I’ve written like 600 posts. Just know that the tone was set by today’s reader question, so do blame her. Or don’t. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the weirdness that lurks beneath this preface. Also keep in mind that I had some paranormal television channel action going on in the background, completely without knowing it. It’s really pretty naive to think that it didn’t have an impact on the prose ahead of you. Anyway, just, I dunno, read with caution, and your anti-anxiety pills at the ready maybe. ENGAGE THE WEIRD IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, silent two, silent one…
Actually, first, I feel that I absolutely must start off this post by saying thank you. Thank you for your beautiful words and well wishes with regard to yesterday’s (Tuesday’s) very personal post about Honey’s grandmother, Henny. You have no idea how touching and helpful and loving and unbelievable everything that all of you said actually was to us. NFI. Seriously. I don’t know how else to say thank you, so I’m just going to say ‘thank you,’ a million times over. Because, OMIGOODNESS, your personal stories. In the comments, on Twitter, Facebook… we read each and every one of them. And they were equal parts heart-wrenching and soul-healing and we love you and appreciate you for sharing such deeply personal stories with us. Our hearts go out to you guys, too, and we only hope that sharing the stories helped some lurkers out there as much as they touched us.
Alrighty. This is me putting a necessary end to the sappity sap and the soul and the feelings for today. Because Honey and I could definitely use a hefty dose of smiles and laughter right about now. And I’m hoping today’s post will bring us right back into that mind space. An’ a one, an’ a two, an’ a aright let’s just get on with it…
So I’m sitting here, just thinking about a few things that have been on my mind a bit. And that I’m obviously going to share with you right now. Because what is this blog, if not a place where you tie my hair back in a scrunchie and I – as femininely as possible – begin to throw up all of my random semi-digested thoughts, and then I mix in wedding-and-relationship-related content that I’m currently digging so I’m not just spewing feelings soup all over your faces. Ahhh. That was a beautiful analogy.
Ok so anyway if you said, “It is nothing, if not that.” You ah correct, sir. And so I present in bullet point formation this time… the things on my mind:
- Ryan Gosling. #DUH #winning #sex # now #please? #no? #ok #later? #no? #fine #stillloveyou #butkeepinghopealiveaboutthesex
- How frantic the reader question I’m featuring today is, and how I’m not so sure I can help this time around.
- How excited I am about the surprise announcement I’m making at the extreeeeeeme bottom of this post.
- How saddened I am that you decided to skip this entire post to check out the surprise announcement.
- How glad I am that you’re back, now that you know what the surprise announcement is. Thanks for coming back up!
- How much I wish I hadn’t updated my old version of Instagram on my iPhone.
- How sure I am that you can imagine my delight, when a young woman named Steph Creekmur tweeted me that I can downgrade my upgrade! Thanks for the tip, Steph!
- The Dos Equis cerveza slogan, “Stay thirsty my friends.” I actually can’t get this out of my head. Some herp derp on the sidelines destroyed it for me by using it too many times as his single contribution to conversations near us during a beach volleyball match we were in on vacation. A match I was excited about, but also terrified about. (Spoiler alert about the beach volleyball: it’s super fun; I suck; it hurts. Turns out the ocean’s coral reserves are stored in their entirety a centimeter beneath the sand of beach volleyball courts. If you weren’t privy to conversations between the players, you’d have thought we were trying to accurately depict what vampire beach volleyball would look like in real life. Because omigosh. There was so much blood-letting going on in that volleyball game. The 13 year old player’s white shirt was COVERED IN HIS OWN BRIGHT RED CHILDREN’S BLOOD. It was kind of horrifying, but he was really funny so we mostly laughed at him and how he looked murdered. Which feels odd now. But like a true 13 year old, he said, “wait, why am I covered in blood? Aww CRAP I loved this shirt. Mom, can you go wash this for me like right now???”
- Ok the last part about mom washing his shirt (I just wrote “shart,” HAHAH) is made up. But I’m absolutely certain that’s what he was thinking. Because that’s what I’m thinking whenever I acquire a stain I really don’t feel like addressing.
- The fact that my request on Twitter for help figuring out what the name of that movie is with those vampires and the teen wolf and the mediocre actress brought in a) the answer “Robocop,” b) new Twitter followers who are not going to like being my followers if they like Twilight and, c) tweets from people who like Twilight but told me they don’t mind and totally understand if I diss it. (By the way, I actually prefer to hold comment on the Twilight saga as a rule, because it’s just not worth it to me to upset people who love it. But thanks for the opening, cool fans!)
- A highly questionable and inappropriate promotional image of a child eating ice cream. I’m talking to you, Ice Cream Shop That Did This. (Ice cream shop will not be named, because it was the stylist’s faux pas I’m sure.)
- THIS QUESTION I’M SHARING WITH YOU IN TWO SECONDS.
FRANTIC QUESTION FROM A READER
Hey, so check out this question from a reader that I want to share with you. Because I figured that a frantic and all-over-the-place reader question was best matched with a crazy all-over-the-place blog post from Alison. Ok, now, the reader question…
Here’s the situation: My sister and her boyfriend have been together 5 years, living together 4 years, and saying they were going to get married for 3 years. They picked out a ring 9ish months ago. He wants it to be fully paid off before they officially get engaged, she is getting annoyed that it hasn’t happened yet. I’m waiting…time is ticking away, I feel that he should have picked a less expensive ring if he really wants it to be paid off before he asks her. Also, is this even necessary? They don’t have a date set for the wedding (since they aren’t engaged)…but they are totally ‘engaged’…what do you think? Does it make sense to wait until the ring is paid for? Should he have gone for a slightly less expensive ring (even though the one they picked is AMAZING)? Am I being the crazy sister who just wants them to hurry up and do it so I can plan their wedding? Aiy…
Ok. K. I’m sure you have your sister’s best interest in mind, and I’m sure you’re an excellent person, but I feel like I need to get you to CALM DOWN. You seem super pissed off about your sister’s relationship, and I actually really appreciate you writing TKB about this because it gives me the opportunity to tell you to back off a little bit because it’s not your relationship. And I say that with sincerity, not smart-alec-ness, and with everyone’s best interest in mind. Please don’t take it the wrong way.
With that said, I’d like to bring up this part of your question, near the end:
“Am I being the crazy sister who just wants them to hurry up and do it so I can plan their wedding?”
That’s all. I just wanted to pinpoint the fact that you said that, and maybe answered your own question. If that’s not the actual answer, and you were joking, well then here are my thoughts:
It’s kind of their lives, and their relationship. And relationships are very much their own living, breathing entities, with different things that go on behind the scenes, different conversations, different backgrounds, different upbringings, different expectations and different understandings of what is *normal* for the progression of a serious relationship. Which is all good and fine. But if a crippling lack of honest communication is also in the mix between your sister and her boyfriend/fiance, that’s when I personally always start to worry.
If your sister has expressed to you a lot of frustration over her partner’s actions up to this point, and a helplessness on her own part to address things, here’s what I think you should tell her. (This is only if she’s asked for advice, or honestly seems to be crying for help from you.)
You should advise her to talk to her partner about her feeeeeeeelings. I feel like I say that in every other Dear TKB, but I seriously can’t stress enough how much good (even if it at first seems not so good) can and will come of open communication. Does she not feel that she can talk to him openly about this? If that’s how she feels, then maybe it’s best that they haven’t gotten officially engaged yet, and maybe they’re working on forging an even stronger and more mutually satisfying bond between one another.
On another note: men often think they need to spend a crapload of money on a ring. Society really pressures men to do this. Or maybe he’s hesitant to propose to her at this point in his life. There are many young men out there who feel they should be established, and capable of providing a stable life for their beloveds before they request a hand in marriage.
There are so many reasons for human behavior. But I think the best thing for your sister to do is talk it out with him, and express her concerns, and how the delay has made her feel. Who knows, maybe he has NO IDEA. That’s a good rule of thumb when thinking about men and whether they get how we’re feeling.
… I’m turning it over to you guys…. what are your thoughts?
DRESS WINS vs DRESS FAILS
Yeah, so this post started out not having anything to do with dresses, but the overdoer that always takes over in me decided to add all my favorite pretty dresses from Fashion Week Spring 2012. So that’s how dresses fit in. Whoop de doooo!
Love these looks from Christian Siriano (“FIERRRCE”); the two top looks are perfect bridesmaids’ attire. The two bottom are just sorta how I’d like to dress every day.
… with those two runway looks above, from Honor.
↓ No, Christian Siriano. Just, no.
oh come on ↴
Christian COME ON! ↴
(I had to place modesty patches over the *very present* nips. Not cool.)
I’m through with Christian right now. Can’t do it. Moving on.
Loving those four above, Lela Rose! This one’s my fave ↴
Actually wait, Christian just redeemed himself with this numba one stunna ↴
Christian’s back on my faves list. I love you Christian! (As you can see, friends, I allow a lot of emotions to stream through my body every day.) Oh and by the way, what do you think of this little number?
I love it, but I also don’t love it. Can’t figure out why.
And now, A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…
Bam and I are so similar. Look at him. How horrific is this pose? I just can’t seem to pose right for my glamour shots either. This is all the evidence I need to know there wasn’t a mixup at the hospital.
It’s safe to say that ALL of my class pictures came out looking like this. Including the army fatigues.
Ok, now here’s what I’d love for you to touch on:
1) Might you have any thoughts and/or suggestions for K, who submitted today’s Reader Question? I’d love to hear what you think regarding her predicament, and what might be a good next step.
2) If you would, choose your single favorite dress from the looks I featured. That’s right, ONE. I like limits. Go ahead, test me, see what happens if you give me more than one fave. Just wait and see. Oohhhhhhh ya gonna get it.
Oh by the way… SURPRISE GIVEAWAY TOMORROW. Hollaa!!!! That’s how you end a post.
xoxo! - Alison