DRESS WINS vs DRESS FAILS + DEAR TKB: My Sister’s “Fiance” Is Pissing Me the Eff Off. | Plus, A Severe Ice Cream Styling Fail & Bambino’s Glamour Shot Is a 4 at Best.

Hello there, my pretties.  It’s a lovely Wednesday evening, a little before 8pm in nyc, and after proofing her post, mama’s pretty sure she’s gonna need to start things off with a fair warning:

This is quite likely the most insane out of hand post I might have ever written.  And I’ve written like 600 posts.  Just know that the tone was set by today’s reader question, so do blame her.  Or don’t.  Just don’t say I didn’t warn you about the weirdness that lurks beneath this preface.  Also keep in mind that I had some paranormal television channel action going on in the background, completely without knowing it.  It’s really pretty naive to think that it didn’t have an impact on the prose ahead of you.  Anyway, just, I dunno, read with caution, and your anti-anxiety pills at the ready maybe.  ENGAGE THE WEIRD IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE, silent two, silent one…  

Actually, first, I feel that I absolutely must start off this post by saying thank you.  Thank you for your beautiful words and well wishes with regard to yesterday’s (Tuesday’s) very personal post about Honey’s grandmother, Henny.  You have no idea how touching and helpful and loving and unbelievable everything that all of you said actually was to us.  NFI.  Seriously.  I don’t know how else to say thank you, so I’m just going to say ‘thank you,’ a million times over.  Because, OMIGOODNESS, your personal stories.  In the comments, on Twitter, Facebook… we read each and every one of them.  And they were equal parts heart-wrenching and soul-healing and we love you and appreciate you for sharing such deeply personal stories with us.  Our hearts go out to you guys, too, and we only hope that sharing the stories helped some lurkers out there as much as they touched us.  

Alrighty.  This is me putting a necessary end to the sappity sap and the soul and the feelings for today.  Because Honey and I could definitely use a hefty dose of smiles and laughter right about now.  And I’m hoping today’s post will bring us right back into that mind space.  An’ a one, an’ a two, an’ a aright let’s just get on with it…

So I’m sitting here, just thinking about a few things that have been on my mind a bit.  And that I’m obviously going to share with you right now.  Because what is this blog, if not a place where you tie my hair back in a scrunchie and I – as femininely as possible – begin to throw up all of my random semi-digested thoughts, and then I mix in wedding-and-relationship-related content that I’m currently digging so I’m not just spewing feelings soup all over your faces.  Ahhh.  That was a beautiful analogy.

Ok so anyway if you said, “It is nothing, if not that.”  You ah correct, sir.  And so I present in bullet point formation this time… the things on my mind:

  1. Ryan Gosling.  #DUH #winning #sex # now #please? #no? #ok #later? #no? #fine #stillloveyou #butkeepinghopealiveaboutthesex
  2. How frantic the reader question I’m featuring today is, and how I’m not so sure I can help this time around.
  3. How excited I am about the surprise announcement I’m making at the extreeeeeeme bottom of this post.
  4. How saddened I am that you decided to skip this entire post to check out the surprise announcement.
  5. How glad I am that you’re back, now that you know what the surprise announcement is.  Thanks for coming back up!
  6. How much I wish I hadn’t updated my old version of Instagram on my iPhone.
  7. How sure I am that you can imagine my delight, when a young woman named Steph Creekmur tweeted me that I can downgrade my upgrade!  Thanks for the tip, Steph!
  8. The Dos Equis cerveza slogan, “Stay thirsty my friends.”  I actually can’t get this out of my head.  Some herp derp on the sidelines destroyed it for me by using it too many times as his single contribution to conversations near us during a beach volleyball match we were in on vacation.  A match I was excited about, but also terrified about.  (Spoiler alert about the beach volleyball: it’s super fun; I suck; it hurts.  Turns out the ocean’s coral reserves are stored in their entirety a centimeter beneath the sand of beach volleyball courts.  If you weren’t privy to conversations between the players, you’d have thought we were trying to accurately depict what vampire beach volleyball would look like in real life.  Because omigosh.  There was so much blood-letting going on in that volleyball game.  The 13 year old player’s white shirt was COVERED IN HIS OWN BRIGHT RED CHILDREN’S BLOOD.  It was kind of horrifying, but he was really funny so we mostly laughed at him and how he looked murdered.  Which feels odd now.  But like a true 13 year old, he said, “wait, why am I covered in blood?  Aww CRAP I loved this shirt.  Mom, can you go wash this for me like right now???”
  9. Ok the last part about mom washing his shirt (I just wrote “shart,” HAHAH) is made up.  But I’m absolutely certain that’s what he was thinking.  Because that’s what I’m thinking whenever I acquire a stain I really don’t feel like addressing.
  10. The fact that my request on Twitter for help figuring out what the name of that movie is with those vampires and the teen wolf and the mediocre actress brought in a) the answer “Robocop,” b) new Twitter followers who are not going to like being my followers if they like Twilight and, c) tweets from people who like Twilight but told me they don’t mind and totally understand if I diss it.  (By the way, I actually prefer to hold comment on the Twilight saga as a rule, because it’s just not worth it to me to upset people who love it.  But thanks for the opening, cool fans!)
  11. A highly questionable and inappropriate promotional image of a child eating ice cream. I’m talking to you, Ice Cream Shop That Did This.  (Ice cream shop will not be named, because it was the stylist’s faux pas I’m sure.)
  12. THIS QUESTION I’M SHARING WITH YOU IN TWO SECONDS.

FRANTIC QUESTION FROM A READER

Hey, so check out this question from a reader that I want to share with you.  Because I figured that a frantic and all-over-the-place reader question was best matched with a crazy all-over-the-place blog post from Alison.  Ok, now, the reader question…

Hi-Hello!

Here’s the situation: My sister and her boyfriend have been together 5 years, living together 4 years, and saying they were going to get married for 3 years.  They picked out a ring 9ish months ago.  He wants it to be fully paid off before they officially get engaged, she is getting annoyed that it hasn’t happened yet.  I’m waiting…time is ticking away, I feel that he should have picked a less expensive ring if he really wants it to be paid off before he asks her.  Also, is this even necessary?  They don’t have a date set for the wedding (since they aren’t engaged)…but they are totally ‘engaged’…what do you think?  Does it make sense to wait until the ring is paid for?  Should he have gone for a slightly less expensive ring (even though the one they picked is AMAZING)?  Am I being the crazy sister who just wants them to hurry up and do it so I can plan their wedding? Aiy…

-K.

Dear K,

Ok.  K.  I’m sure you have your sister’s best interest in mind, and I’m sure you’re an excellent person, but I feel like I need to get you to CALM DOWN.  You seem super pissed off about your sister’s relationship, and I actually really appreciate you writing TKB about this because it gives me the opportunity to tell you to back off a little bit because it’s not your relationship.  And I say that with sincerity, not smart-alec-ness, and with everyone’s best interest in mind.  Please don’t take it the wrong way.

With that said, I’d like to bring up this part of your question, near the end:

“Am I being the crazy sister who just wants them to hurry up and do it so I can plan their wedding?”

That’s all.  I just wanted to pinpoint the fact that you said that, and maybe answered your own question.  If that’s not the actual answer, and you were joking, well then here are my thoughts:

It’s kind of their lives, and their relationship.  And relationships are very much their own living, breathing entities, with different things that go on behind the scenes, different conversations, different backgrounds, different upbringings, different expectations and different understandings of what is *normal* for the progression of a serious relationship.  Which is all good and fine.  But if a crippling lack of honest communication is also in the mix between your sister and her boyfriend/fiance, that’s when I personally always start to worry.

If your sister has expressed to you a lot of frustration over her partner’s actions up to this point, and a helplessness on her own part to address things, here’s what I think you should tell her.  (This is only if she’s asked for advice, or honestly seems to be crying for help from you.)

You should advise her to talk to her partner about her feeeeeeeelings.  I feel like I say that in every other Dear TKB, but I seriously can’t stress enough how much good (even if it at first seems not so good) can and will come of open communication.  Does she not feel that she can talk to him openly about this?  If that’s how she feels, then maybe it’s best that they haven’t gotten officially engaged yet, and maybe they’re working on forging an even stronger and more mutually satisfying bond between one another.

On another note: men often think they need to spend a crapload of money on a ring.  Society really pressures men to do this.  Or maybe he’s hesitant to propose to her at this point in his life.  There are many young men out there who feel they should be established, and capable of providing a stable life for their beloveds before they request a hand in marriage.

There are so many reasons for human behavior.  But I think the best thing for your sister to do is talk it out with him, and express her concerns, and how the delay has made her feel.  Who knows, maybe he has NO IDEA.  That’s a good rule of thumb when thinking about men and whether they get how we’re feeling.

… I’m turning it over to you guys…. what are your thoughts?

DRESS WINS vs DRESS FAILS

Yeah, so this post started out not having anything to do with dresses, but the overdoer that always takes over in me decided to add all my favorite pretty dresses from Fashion Week Spring 2012.  So that’s how dresses fit in.  Whoop de doooo!

Love these looks from Christian Siriano (“FIERRRCE”); the two top looks are perfect bridesmaids’ attire.  The two bottom are just sorta how I’d like to dress every day.

OBBBBB-

SESSED…

… with those two runway looks above, from Honor.

↓ No, Christian Siriano.  Just, no.

oh come on ↴

Christian COME ON! ↴

(I had to place modesty patches over the *very present* nips.  Not cool.)

I’m through with Christian right now.  Can’t do it.  Moving on.

Loving those four above, Lela Rose!  This one’s my fave ↴

Actually wait, Christian just redeemed himself with this numba one stunna ↴

Christian’s back on my faves list.  I love you Christian!  (As you can see, friends, I allow a lot of emotions to stream through my body every day.)  Oh and by the way, what do you think of this little number?

I love it, but I also don’t love it.  Can’t figure out why.

Christian Siriano images taken by George Chinsee / Lela Rose images taken by Thomas Iannaccone / all images via Women’s Wear Daily and Style

And now, A Day in the Life of Bambino McPuppyPants…

Bam and I are so similar.  Look at him.  How horrific is this pose?  I just can’t seem to pose right for my glamour shots either.  This is all the evidence I need to know there wasn’t a mixup at the hospital.

It’s safe to say that ALL of my class pictures came out looking like this.  Including the army fatigues.

Ok, now here’s what I’d love for you to touch on:

1) Might you have any thoughts and/or suggestions for K, who submitted today’s Reader Question?  I’d love to hear what you think regarding her predicament, and what might be a good next step.

2) If you would, choose your single favorite dress from the looks I featured.  That’s right, ONE.  I like limits.  Go ahead, test me, see what happens if you give me more than one fave.  Just wait and see.  Oohhhhhhh ya gonna get it.

Oh by the way… SURPRISE GIVEAWAY TOMORROW.  Hollaa!!!!  That’s how you end a post.

xoxo!  - Alison

Label(s): "DEAR TKB..." Advice Column, {Fashion}

Love all of this...

21 comments

  1. Alicia @CharityWedding on September 28, 2011

    You answered PERFECTLY! The bigger question, why does she care that her sister’s fiance got her A. an amazing ring (would she rather be writing about how her sister is about to get a gold, heart shaped, ring adorned with butterflies and she doesn’t know how to tell her or the fact that an engagement ring is pretty much an investment as you wear that sucker every day, just for forever.) B. That he is trying to be responsible by paying it off first before he has to tackle an entire new form of debt known as a wedding and C. the entire relationship in general? I sort of almost think that maybe she needs to find a man, or if she has one that she should focus her attention on that. I’m not so sure she is the one that gets to plan the wedding anyway even if he does pop the question ASAP. Soooo, stop worrying about it and get a life. I mean that in a super sweet, nice way.

    And finally I love those dresses minus the ones that you hated because clearly, those are awful.

    Reply
  2. Sophie on September 28, 2011

    Wow! What a gorgeous wedding post! Thanks for all your efforts. I appreciated it lots!

    Reply
  3. Kelly on September 28, 2011

    I think your answer is spot on. Unless you are a wedding planner by profession, and your sister ASKS for your help, you have no right to plan her wedding. She can include you in as many or few details as she wants. Let her have her day, because yours will come. As for paying for the ring, I think that’s a great plan. My fiance and I are paying for mine while also saving for the wedding.

    It seems as if there may be an underlying issue of jealousy or dislike of the sister’s fiance.

    As for the dresses! I am in LOVE with the orange Christian Siriano. That would be so fun to do a styled shoot at a carnival or retro beach theme.

    But my favorite dress from FW were the ones at the Elle Fashion Next show. Shapes and design elements I’ve never seen anywhere else!

    Reply
  4. Lena on September 28, 2011

    Washi tape nipples is my take away with the dresses, and I’m not happy. The Lela Rose polka dots made me smile, but not enough to forget.

    And K, I get your frustration-you love someone and you want them to have what they want in their relationships. You want them to be blissfully, ridiculously happy. But sometimes they muck around and wait until the ring is all paid for (weird, but honorable I suppose, and crazy to spend a year’s worth of scrimping and saving on a ring, in my humble opinion), or break up for a bit, or whatever crazy thing it is our loved ones do that makes us fret about them.

    Because I will fess up to fretting about my friends’ relationships. One of those couples broke up. Another is moving in together, maybe, if it all goes okay and no one freaks out, after they broke up a lot. The third bought a house. So the figure it out and you love them through it all.

    Reply
  5. Ilana on September 28, 2011

    I agree completely with the advice given above and even further above. I may be completely wrong, but I get the impression that K has had little communication with her sister and this is all running around in her head and falling out on paper (or the internet, whatevs) and it is actually not much of her business. RED FLAG: “hurry up and do it so I can plan their wedding.” = a little too involved to me. But maybe I have it completely wrong and K has legitimate concerns about her sister’s relationship. Sometimes people on the outside have a better view. Just something to think about

    DRESS! I L.O.V.E. the Lela Rose short polka dot dress.

    Reply
  6. abby on September 28, 2011

    OMYYY F@%7#@% i am SO incredibly in love with the sunglass dress. and i dont give a crap about that sister….
    THAT DRESS IS AMAZING!!! can’t stop staring at it.

    Reply
  7. Ruthanne on September 29, 2011

    I can relate with reader’s question, but like you said, its not HER relationship. I would just reiterate everything you said.
    As for the dress? NUMBER ONE STUNNER is an awesome term! Omgsh the red? Perfect!

    Reply
  8. claire martine on September 29, 2011

    Oh my gawwwwd. That red number is the most amazing thing ever. I would wear that amazing full yellow skirt everywhere during the day, because of course that’s considered day wear right, lol. Then I’d wear that gorgeous red striped full skirt of my dreams that I had for my Barbie when I was younger.

    Don’t cuuuuur about the sister because bottom line its noe of her business how other people choose to spend or not spend and get engaged or not engaged. She needs to back off before she ruins their engagement altogether.

    Reply
  9. K on September 29, 2011

    ok, I’m K. I’m regretting sending this question, but not. Here’s the deal. I live in a busy area. I plan weddings for a living (yes, indeed). My sister has expressed annoyance/concern over this situation, many times. I have friends and other family members to plan for, too, but want her wedding to be number one (which, it will be. She’s my only sister.) I am embarrassed after reading this post…

    BUT, I’m still glad I sent in this question. Why? Because reading my frantic note? I sound ridiculous and rude. Y’all are right. SO right. I am the crazy sister. I want to plan her wedding because I plan weddings and she wants me to plan her wedding (so please, lay off on that one. It is my business to plan with her, for real.)

    As far as personal life things you all have said? Ouch. Please, remember that reader questions are submitted by readers. I don’t need to find a man, I have one. I am not jealous. I am concerned. She is concerned. This wasn’t put in the post, so i understand the confusion, but more than one comment assumed I needed to focus on my own relationship and/or find a guy on my own. My ‘day’ came and went, and it was great. I want my sister to have the wedding she discusses with me on a very regular basis.

    In conclusion. Yes, I am just the crazy sister who wants to plan my sister’s wedding (remember, it’s what I do). I do not need a guy of my own (my husband wouldn’t like me finding someone else, folks). I need to be open and honest with my sister and tell her to be open and honest with her boyfriend. I need to chill the eff out and let it happen when it happens and simply be there for my sister as she anxiously waits, and congratulate her when she calls to tell me she has a beautiful ring on her hand.

    Reply
  10. Emma on September 29, 2011

    K, I think you got a bad rap from a few of the commenters, but your response I just read above is absolutely perfect and humble. You sound like a cool sister, and your sister’s lucky to have you!

    I think the best thing to do is just brush your shoulders off and only listen to the advice Alison offered up in the post. She knows her stuff. And don’t worry about what anyone else thinks! I bet Alison was just as surprised as you were by the spots of harshness, since the comments I read here tend to be 100% nice up until today! Chock it up to a weird Wednesday maybe….

    Reply
  11. Rachael on September 29, 2011

    Love the dresses! Especially the red!

    And agree with what Emma said– K, just pay attention to Alison’s advice, no one else’s. Alison’s advice was what I would have said!

    Reply
  12. Donna on September 29, 2011

    This was an awesome, awesome post.

    Reply
  13. Katie on September 29, 2011

    K, I’m with you and I agree that Alison did give the best advice. But, I complete understand where you are coming from so here is my two cents: First, I only wish I had a sister that what as excited as you are to plan my wedding! That would literally be a dream come true for me. And second of all, (not that it’s ANY of my business) it would be impossible for me to be patient/calm if I knew that the bf had the ring and it wasn’t on my finger. Especially if I had already seen it?!? I would die of anticipation. (True story, when the bf bought the ring, it was on my finger before we left the store. The official proposal came a few months later. I’m sorry, I can’t let something that beautiful and expensive sit in a box. If that’s what they want then keep it a secret!) Your sister has some patients to wait it out (instead of freak out, like I would, not that I would recommend that! See the previous post from Alison on that topic!) and I’m guessing he must be a really good guy.
    Don’t worry, stress, or regret, you sound like a loving sister who only wants to see her sister happy and with everything she deserves. I don’t know how anyone can hate on that. <3

    Reply
    • Rika on December 18, 2012

      Commenting on my own post..Lol!I just had a UK caller phone me wanintg to play out this brother-sister incest fantasy. It was so much fun! I loved having my older brother just pump his little sister’s wet cunny and cream all inside me. ~Alex

      Reply
  14. Dottie on September 29, 2011

    My Lord. K, thank you for sending in this question. It’s always kind of a show stopper when you realize YOU yourself are the crazy sister, wedding planner or not.

    Reply
  15. Kristine {In Love, Engaged} on September 29, 2011

    K, I’m really glad you expanded on your question. And I think, if we were all honest with ourselves, we could completely commiserate with your situation. We’ve all had friends/family members whose relationships don’t entirely match up to our ideas of what relationships should be. Because we want the best for them and we worry they’re not getting the best. But then, I suppose, when we take a step back, we see that it took US awhile to get it figured out. We had those not-the-best kind of relationships and while we may have been hurt in the end or felt frustrated or disappointed during, we realize that they taught us something really valuable. So, as much as we don’t want our loved ones to go through painful circumstances, we know that our job is to simply be there for them through it. As hard and as frustrating as it may be for us.

    All that to say, your sister is a lucky gal cause she has you watching her back and wanting the best for her. And sometimes, YES, that makes you crazy–wanting the best for someone and waiting for it to happen. But you seem to have it figured out. And whenever the day comes–her Day comes–I’m sure the wait will all be worth it.

    Reply
  16. Tricia on September 29, 2011

    Love the dressed you liked! I actually like the “little number”- thats my fav.

    For the sister- Who can complain about someone being responsible financially? That should be a blessing!

    Reply
  17. bridal girl on September 29, 2011

    Thanks for sharing this post. The red one is a stunner! I really love it… can’s stop looking at it =)

    Reply
  18. E on September 29, 2011

    Great advice, I think I needed to hear that too. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from other peoples personal lives a bit, even if we think we’re only doing good by getting involved. I need to remember that for the future, uggg. Maybe I should I print this post out. Hehe. K, good luck with your sister, I hope things work out the best possible way! I’m sure when they do decide to get hitched, you’ll be an indispensable resource for her!

    Now, would whoever’s in possession of these dresses please hand over at least one of them to me? Any one of them, thanks! Beggars can’t be choosers. ;)

    Reply
  19. Eve on September 29, 2011

    Love the dresses, beautiful picks!

    Reply
  20. Asian Weddings videographer on October 11, 2011

    I knew an Asian weddings videographer who use to make dresses, but they looked nothing like these gowns…WOW!

    Reply

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