Happy Friday afternoon, lovers! Ok, today I feel lucky enough to share with you a dreamy styled shoot by the fantastic Kati Decker of LightSplash Photography with EliteVendor Group, but first, as per usual, there’s something I need to talk to you about. And no, I’m not talking about that decision I made back there to end a sentence with a preposition. I did that for flow, and it’s not up for discussion. What I want to speak to is something I worry about. And it also has everything to do with how a person can know, for sure, that they’re marrying the right person.
I had a dream last night, and in it I was alone with Bambino, and our home collapsed around us in an earthquake. Somehow, we made it out alive. It was horrifying, and everyone was out on the street, yet still it was dark, and lonely, even surrounded by people. I didn’t feel *right* until one thing happened. Honey came and hugged me and Bam. It was when I knew Honey was safe, which happened to be the moment he arrived to help me. We lost pretty much everything to our name, something you’d think would be depressing, even in a dream. But the moment Honey came to my side, and he, Bambino and I were together, sitting on the back of a pick-up truck (in the Northeast, go figure), I experienced a sustained calm and all was well with my world. We were safe, we were together, it didn’t matter if our home and belongings were gone. And we even were able to laugh over something cute Bambino did.
I wanted to recount that dream on the blog today because it reminded me that life is about the moments you spend with people. And I’m not talking about just those big, huge ones you spend time planning and obsessing over and NEEDING to go right and even, on occasion, yelling at people over it. The thing that concerns me is how much so many brides feel they have riding on that one day. Which is SO stressful for them. As if, if something goes wrong – and it will, I promise you that something will go wrong, don’t doubt this – on that Most Important Day of Your Life, it’s going to bum you out for years to come. And this is nothing if not completely understandable while you’re in it, since it takes a lot of time, patience, effort, people and money to make a wedding. No wonder we get so emotional about it and want it to be the best it can be.
But I’m worried. Because with all this planning, and all these new techie devices we all love to use that connect us with new friends across the world, and allow us to collaborate with people we never dreamed we’d even meet… it seems they’re also having the adverse effect of us spending less quality time with people we love. Even people sitting over there behind us, on the couch, while we type away, oblivious to the fact that maybe that person in your life over on the couch has been hoping you’ll come over and hug them, or spend some time cuddling, or whatever you like to do when together.
Don’t let anyone, including yourself, convince you that those big events are the important life moments. They’re not. They’re the icing on the cake. They’re the whipped cream on the strawberries. They’re not the foundation, they’re the celebration of the foundation.
And I hate that it’s becoming easier and easier to forget that life is in those interpersonal details that make that foundation. They are all that matter. And liking a friend’s status on Facebook is not an interpersonal detail. An interpersonal detail is helping your grandmother get from the couch to her bed, because she’s getting old and having you over for an evening probably means more to her than you’ll ever know it did. An interpersonal detail is that handful of minutes you and your sweetheart spent jokingly but also a little bit seriously talking about and laughing over possible baby names you might agree on for down the road. (We can never agree on any by the way. None. It is beyond frustrating.)
The interpersonal details are what reveal to you whether or not you’re with “the one.” If you’re happy just being with that person, without bells and whistles and expensive dinners to look forward to, and without other people around you to distract you and keep you interested – if you can spend days alone with that person, with nothing much to do except hang out, play Scrabble on his iPhone, talk, nap, stare at the sunset, and look at one another and just *feel at home*… well then I can tell you from experience that you’ve chosen the right person, and you better not let that person go.
Oh, here’s another interpersonal detail, for fun… It’s when he comes home from work, you cuddle with one another on the couch, and he starts tickling you. FYI, I hate that detail, I’m completely lying that it’s a good one. I’m just using this moment right now to throw in a message to Honey: Honey, I want you to know that, when you tickle me? This is how I feel… and I know some people learn lessons better visually, so…
I feel like a helpless miniature bunny, incapable of escape due to my size, but emitting uncontrollable seemingly DELIGHTED laughter that, as it leaves my mouth it turns around and mocks me, as if to say, “HAHAAHAHAHAHHHH YOU’RE HAAAATING THIS AREN’T YOU!!!!!! THEN WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING HAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAHHH!”
The laughter that results from tickling is nature’s most evil joke.
Anywho. We work so hard to make a huge future moment perfect. But it seems that we so often – hey, I so often, too - forget that it’s the here and now that’s perfect, if we just pay attention to it by stepping outside of ourselves to take little mental snapshots for safekeeping, in our memories. So while it’s immeasurable fun (mixed in with completely overwhelming and downright emotionally exhausting at times) to work hard to make your wedding day as beautiful and representative of you as a couple as possible… I hope you guys are also choosing to spend a lot of little moments every day creating even more of those little details about your relationship that you so want to infuse into the decor of your Big Day. And strengthening the interpersonal bonds you’re intending to celebrate. It just makes for such a better, funner, excitinger and more memorabler wedding day in the end. Ya know?
Ok, I’m shutting up about it now.
Because I have LOTS OF PRETTY PICTURES to show you today, and they’re all below. And we’re going to get to it NOW. Pardon the probably very pedantic-sounding spiel up there.
Today’s breathtaking shoot which we’re FINALLY GETTING TO OH MY GOD is the result of a group of stellar Northern California vendors getting together and making magic. It always amazes me what can come of a group of talented people getting physically together, smashing their minds together, developing a concept, and then acting on those ideas in physical form, to perfection. This fab shoot was submitted by the incredible Kati Decker of LightSplash Photography, and I’m thrilled to share it in all it’s loveliness and splendor. It’s shot so beautifully. Such care for the details. And it’s always a plus when it looks like everyone had fun, amirite? I hope it inspires you guys as much as it did, me. Heck, it got me into such a schmaltzy mindset that I wrote a frikin’ novella up top about moohhments and feeelings. … I talk a lot.
Here are some words from Kati about this fabulous shoot, and some tips for brides to be:
Recently I teamed up with a bunch of FABULOUSLY creative and diverse wedding vendors, and formed our own wedding vendor group, EliteVendor Group. In attendance were cake artists, a calligrapher, DJ, florist, make up artist, hair stylist, wedding planner, a videographer, and a few others who contributed and helped make this event a huge success.
To prepare for your own wedding, carefully choosing your vendors and location is most important. You must feel comfortable and build a relationship with those who will help make your special day extraordinary. If you meet with a vendor and don’t “click,” with that individual, their portfolio will not matter and you most likely will not enjoy your wedding day. Ask for referrals from your current vendors. If you’ve hired a vendor you already like, their referrals will compliment your wedding AND your personalities. This will be a win win for everyone concerned.
The ladies and gentlemen I worked with on this photo shoot are top notch, professional, and go above and beyond in their work. The passion for their work shines through. We, as vendors, worked well together and it is this collaborative relationship that makes your wedding day the best. Surprises will pop up, and you want the team of professionals you hire to handle those little hiccups efficiently and expertly.
Add to that an amazingly breathtaking location, Nestldown. Nestldown is hidden in the Santa Cruz Mountains within the city of Los Gatos. It used to be a private residence, and some parts are still privately owned. Originally it was developed for non profits working with disadvantaged or disabled individuals or those in crisis and transition. Once a working ranch, Nestldown still has 35 acres of working orchards producing peaches. With amazing light, beautiful scenery, and a working orchard, this place is as close as you can get to heaven. The theme of this shoot was a woodsy, red-riding hood event with good and bad versions. When choosing location, natural light is one of the most important factors for a successful wedding shoot. Visit the location several times at different times of day to watch how the light changes. Your ceremony site might be perfect in the morning when you visited, but completely in shadow on the day of your ceremony. Nestldown, is perfectly situated with a LOT of natural light, making each image glow, even inside. This is, by far, one of my favorite places to photograph and I can’t wait to go back!
And a little bit about Nestldown, while we’re at it:
Nestldown is a 180-acre property that was originally designed and developed for the owners and their family use, with the goal of offering a special space for the non-profits benefitting disadvantaged or disabled individuals or those in crisis and transition. Once a working fruit ranch at the turn of the century, the property was also the location for the Summit area grade school. It is a private family retreat nestled among the redwoods in the Santa Cruz Mountains and surrounded by acres of carefully tended flower gardens and orchards. Nestldown has over seven acres of landscaped lawns and gardens, as well as 35 acres of working orchards producing peaches, apples, kiwis and other fruits. Nestldown is an especially beautiful escape from the everyday world.
LOL. so freakin’ aDORable. ↑
By the way, if you’d like to check out the video, click here to go to it!
So, my questions, and there are just two today…
1) Do you find you get caught up in the planning sometimes? Do you and your sweetheart get enough “me-you” time with one another? Does he effing tickle the eff out of you and do you hate it, the way I do? Grrrr.
2) How GORGEOUS is this inspiration shoot?? Any fave details? I love that ruffled mini cake so much that I wanna marry it. And those lace letters! I think we need a DIY for that sometime soon. Too pretty for words.
xoxo! – Alison
Location: Brooke Greene, Nestldown Venue / Photography: Kati Decker, LightSplash Photography / Cinematography: Luke Goodman, Luke Goodman Photo & Cinema / Flowers: Laura Sabahi, LS Blooms; Makeup: Kristen Calderaro, Make-up by Kristen; Gigi Moss, Hair by Gigi; Lauren Beene, Lauren Beene Skincare / Dresses: Azita, In the Olde Manner / DJ: Sergio Arellano, BlazeWave Entertainment / Calligraphy: Eleanor Abril, 2inspire Designs / Cake + Treats: Lisa Eliopoulos, Cakepop Delight; Jen Kwapinski, Jen’s Cakes / Rentals: Susie and Sonny, A1 Rentals, Redwood City / Arlene Marcos, “Ah…New Beginnings” Professional Wedding Consulting / Shoes: Bakers / MODELS - Groom: Garrett Dunham / Bride: Jillian Gomez / Bridesmaid: Amy Vosters / Submitted via Two Bright Lights