LET YOUR HATERS BE YOUR MOTIVATORS | DEAR TKB: Do I… deserve a wedding? The girls on bridal message boards say I don’t… PLUS: Intimate Courthouse Wedding by Heather Brincko Photography

Happy late Tuesday, party people.

Preface: Today’s Reader Question/Real Wedding were put together strategically as per usual, but the way I’m presenting the question requires it to be in three parts, and the format is therefore a little nuanced.  Also, I think I’m using ‘nuanced’ wrong.  I’ve decided to include the reader’s follow-up response to the answer I offered her, because her response speaks to a pretty disgusting problem I’ve never touched on before.  Frankly, I haven’t even been cognizant of it.  I was WTF-ing all the way through.  Because WTF.  I mean, WHO DOES THIS.  Ok sorry you’ll see what I mean when you see her response.  K, here we go… 

Today’s question from a reader is one that really hit me hard.  Basically, I know it’s something that a lot of girls have experienced/are experiencing.  And when I say ‘girls’ I’m not talking about girls on reality shows, because there’s a sense of entitlement going on there that surely none of us can fathom, and it always seems to come packaged with a complete lack of deservedness.  It’s weird how that always works out that way.  But anyway – the kind of women who can identify with the greater message behind today’s dilemma are the kind of women who have feelings and aren’t so tough that they cannot be penetrated/hurt by undeservedly harsh criticism, whether or not it’s directed at them.

Now.  There are lots of reasons why a couple would pursue a courthouse marriage ceremony.  Maybe you want a courthouse wedding, just because.  (That’s how my parents got married, actually.  I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned that on here.)  Perhaps a relative is very sick, and one or both of you cherish the idea of having that person present, or at least alive, when you get married.  Maybe your budget is more important to you than having a party of considerable size and reach.  Maybe you don’t like being the center of attention.  I’m just touching the surface here; there are myriad reasons.  Unfortunately, what there aren’t are myriad quality synonyms for the word *myriad*, which is why I had to use it back there.

Ok, so whatever the reason you’re doing it, a courthouse wedding has the potential to be romantic, lovely, and rewarding… as you’ll see in today’s feature, submitted by Heather Brincko Photography.  Hiring a great photographer who will make that valiant effort to capture your smallish nuptials in the most realistic, beautiful way possible, is important.  But most important?  All you REALLY need is love, to make that day special.

Furthermore, if you ever decide you’d like to celebrate your marriage on a larger scale, the fact that you already got married at the courthouse is HARDLY the be-all end-all to that…

… I mean, right?  Because, really, who the F Word says you can’t have a wedding once you’ve gotten married in a courthouse?

HOLY EFF, APPARENTLY A LOT OF BITCHES DO.  As today’s reader question sadly shares…

Hi Alison,

My name is S and I am a follower of yours on Twitter. I actually have a question that I’m hoping you’ll help me out with. It’s a bit of a personal struggle I guess.

Basically, my hubby and I have been together for over 5 years. We now have a 7 month-old son. He was unplanned but a blessing nonetheless. When I got pregnant, we weren’t married. I wanted to wait until after he was born to get married but everyone kept pressuring us to go ahead and get married in court before he was born. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but I have always wanted a real wedding. Everyone said that we could just have the “real wedding” later on. So that’s what we did. We settled for a courthouse wedding and planned that we would have our wedding later on. Our courthouse wedding was something we kinda planned two weeks beforehand and we got married on Valentine’s day this year. It was just our immediate families – my parents and siblings and his parents and siblings. 

Shortly after our son was born, we started to think about our wedding. We’ve even booked the place (which I feel kinda silly for doing now). The date is set for next October. We already have a theme and everything. The thing is, the more I think about it, the less it begins to feel like a “wedding”, it just feels silly. I feel like people will think we’re doing this for show or whatever. I feel like I don’t deserve to wear a wedding gown because I’m not an actual bride. I’m just insecure about the whole thing. So my question for you is, is this something that is appropriate? Or is it stupid?

Also, keep in mind a few things. I am aware that the first wedding is still a real wedding. This would be more of a renewal of vows type-thing. Another thing is that we are asking that guests do not get us gifts. People already got us things when we first got married and it seems plain greedy to ask for stuff. Simply put, we just want to be able to celebrate what we never got to celebrate with our friends and family and have a good time doing it.

Sorry, I know it’s pretty lengthy. :/  Anyways, thanks in advance for your help. I LOVE your blog. :)

Thanks,

S.

Dear S:

Alrighty!  I’m really glad you wrote me because I’m like so excited to tell you that nothing about what you’re feeling is in any way “stupid,” or “silly.”  What you’re feeling – the insecurity, the worry of what others will be thinking since you’re already ‘married’ – that’s so completely normal I can’t even tell you.  It’s just a case of society’s standards having their impact on our emotions, and you are no different from any other woman out there in feeling the way you do.  Trust me.  Now, is it ridiculous to have a wedding after you’ve gotten married already?  HARDLY.  A wedding is a party!  It’s quite often a party where you get married, but the bigger purpose is to celebrate your union with all of the friends and family you love, and who love you.  I can’t imagine that anyone is going to judge you negatively for this.  That would be so ridiculous of that person, and I would like to face punch whoever shows any signs of acting so silly.  

Of course, I understand your feelings about this, and where you’re coming from.  You probably feel like you don’t necessarily ‘deserve’ a wedding, since you’re married and have started a family.  But what is life if you can’t celebrate those things?  Weddings are celebrations like I said, and I can’t think of a better thing to celebrate than the love you’ve found with your husband, and what it has brought you.  DO IT.  Have a wedding.  Get a pretty dress, get your hair done, get excited about it, let yourself be giddy.  Don’t look back.  You’ll never regret it, I promise.

On a final note, I feel that your concerns are quite mainstream, and I’m wondering if you’d be comfortable with me anonymously posting your question on the blog?  It’s always completely anonymous.  I really believe yours is a question a lot of girls out there would love to have addressed… but please know that it’s completely your call.  By the way, thanks for the kind words; so glad you enjoy the blog!  I enjoy it, too. :)

Alison

Alison,

Omigosh! I’d be honored to be featured on your blog! Even if it is anonymous! :)

Thank you, thank you, thank you soo much for your advice and reassurance! I’ve just read on so many bridal message boards (particularly [*popular wedding site*]) so many unfriendly, snarky and just plain bitchy comments towards other girls in this same situation and it just really discouraged me. But I trust your opinion on the matter and now I feel so relieved! :) thank you so much for your help! I’ll definitely be looking to your blog for tons of inspiration. 

The theme, by the way, is going to be kind of a whimsical pumpkin patch. :)

A million thanks!

S.

BEAUTIFUL, INTIMATE COURTHOUSE WEDDING THAT I LOVE

Now, check out this wedding situation by Heather Brincko Photography.  And then die over Elaine’s goddess dress, her gorgeous rose + heather bouquet, and just the overall PHOTOGRAPHY of it all.  I’m in love.  You’ll find that it’s very possible to make your courthouse wedding a totally fulfilling, beautiful and lasting memory… regardless of any future party plans!

Of course, the reason I decided to marry this touching marriage ceremony with today’s reader question was because I really wanted to show the reality and potential of what can be a courthouse wedding, but also that it’s perfectly AWESOME AND WHOLLY LEGIT to go forth and have your wedding celebration after you’ve gotten hitched at court, like this couple fully intends to do!  Because hey, why the eff not?  Let your haters be your motivators, like that endearing little girl in the whore makeup on that Jonah Hill movie trailer commercial says.

First, some words from the amazing Heather, about the experience:

Because of life circumstances, Keen and Elaine found themselves getting married in a courtroom. One might think this is an non romantic setting with little room to plan wedding details, but it was completely the opposite. Elaine picked the perfect details – her rose and heather bouquet and goddess dress complemented not only the courtroom setting, but her groom who wore a simple suit and pair of googley eyes for his bride. Also, the Seattle Courts buildings were filled with texture and interesting light. I will also never forget the Judges glow and smile as he pronounced Elaine and Keen married.

And here are some words from our beautiful bride, Elaine:

One week before my MBA graduation, we decided to make the year of 2011 more dramatic – to get married! Coming from China, I’ve met my husband in Beijing and absolutely fell in love with Seattle.  We want something simple, elegant and warm.  Though my parents can’t attend the small courtroom ceremony (we will have a bigger wedding next year to make up for this), my husband’s whole family came and celebrated for us.  The city hall and the surrounding area (Olympic Park, the Space Needle, etc.) are just gorgeous. Lucky us, rain stopped on our wedding day and we had such a beautiful day! Thanks to Heather, we had recorded the best moment of our lives.

I love the look of a man in love with a woman:

… I love the emotion their photographer captured.  Heather, you told their story so beautifully.

Fun TIP: Not in love with the decor of your local courthouse?

Assuming all necessary permits are in place, there are always other places to shoot… some AMAZEBALLS PLACES.

So, what do YOU think?  And how lovely is this small, intimate day?  You don’t have to go big, to avoid going home.  Or something like that.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Heather Brincko Photography / Submitted via Two Bright Lights

Label(s): "DEAR TKB..." Advice Column, {Real Weddings}

Love all of this...

40 comments

  1. Jenna on December 6, 2011

    S~
    Have your wedding!!! There are so many situations where people do a small quick wedding, like kids, green cards, sick family members, etc. It doesn’t mean you can’t have the wedding of your dreams later. A wedding is about getting married but another 50% of it is sharing your commitment with your friends and family and then celebrating with them. There is nothing wrong with having a wedding you can share with your friends and family if you’re already married. A wedding is also whatever you want it to be. I had mine outside with my non-officiant aunt marrying us. We wrote everything, my Dad’s best friend played the bagpipes. There was nothing more official than yours except that we signed a piece of paper the day before.
    Sit down and make a list with your husband about what you want your wedding day to include and mean. Then focus on that list every time you start feeling insecure about doing a wedding. It will remind you why you’re doing it.
    Ignore those bitches on the message boards, they’re not invited anyways.

    xoxoxo
    Jenna

    Reply
  2. Judith on December 6, 2011

    Me and my husband had a small elopment wedding in May and a big wedding in October.
    I’m from Germany and he is American. In Germany, if you want a church wedding, you need to have a court house wedding first, that’s just how it works. And since it was a lot easier (paper-work-wise) we decided to have an elopment wedding with just two friends in the States and we had the big wedding in a church with exchanging our vows in Germany.
    I think S should get her wedding too! She should feel special and do all the things she imagined. And I hope it will be amazing.
    My husband and I decided that our church wedding day will also be our anniversary since the other one was basically to speed up the process for my visa papers (but we’re still waiting on those but that’s another story…).

    Reply
  3. Alyssa on December 6, 2011

    Definitely have your day! One of my best friends, due to circumstances, also had a court house wedding. But a year later, she had a “real” wedding where they renewed their vows. It was beautiful and a time for all to celebrate their marriage. Those who tell you that you shouldn’t have never been in your situation and would never understand. Don’t let them ruin your party!

    Reply
  4. Nikki on December 6, 2011

    S, haters gonne hate! Do your thing girl, you deserve it! Happy planning!!!

    Alison – your whore make-up comment made my day. I’m always telling my fiancé how funny you are and how TKB is my favorite blog. I shared that comment with him and his response, “I like her!”

    Reply
  5. Mindy on December 6, 2011

    Mean people suck. You’ve have your marriage, now go have your wedding!!! Then submit the photos to TKB so we can all celebrate with you! ^_^

    Reply
  6. Mindy on December 6, 2011

    Nice typos, me.

    Reply
  7. chandra ~ Oh Lovely Day on December 6, 2011

    Love! And ef off to the haters. I’m really sick of mean girls on the internet lately! I think a courthouse wedding is romantic and I think you should get married however you want, however many times you want! xx

    Reply
  8. francine on December 6, 2011

    oh my gracious, that courthouse wedding! amazing. simply amazing. is there any way to find out where elaine’s dress is from?? please please please?? i LOVE it with my whole heart, no exaggeration!

    Reply
  9. Jeannine on December 6, 2011

    I have to address that message board. I’m assuming she was referring to the “grande dame” that has magazine and a stamp of approval that vendors can purchase? The culture is the strangest one I’ve ever encountered on the internet (and I’ve been around a while).

    Reply
  10. Koru Kate ⎨Koru Wedding⎬ on December 6, 2011

    Yes, YES- have your wedding & celebrate your beautiful marriage & family!

    Reply
  11. lizzie on December 6, 2011

    We are having a HELLA low-key wedding. Everything is cut back, but in a fun way. We want everyone in jeans, if possible. But people are STILL telling me that we should “just have a city hall wedding” or “run away and elope” (like that’s much cheaper?).

    I’m my mom’s only kid and she’s way into the wedding. We’re having a wedding for her.

    When I explain that, people say, “Well, it’s just not LIKE ME to have a big, flashy wedding.” That’s an excellent way to put that, douches.

    Reply
  12. Kristine {In Love, Engaged} on December 7, 2011

    S, let me tell you a story of one of my very best friends. She met and fell in love with a boy from Germany. They married in court so that he could stay in the US and planned a wedding for a year later. That wedding never took place as the groom decided to return to Germany, and subsequently leave the marriage. The marriage was annulled. A few months later, the now ex-groom came back, fought for his love, and the two fell in love all over again. They married–AGAIN–in court. And a year later they had one of the funnest, most WELL-DESERVED, beautiful weddings I’ve ever been a part of. Everyone has a story and everyone’s story deserves to be celebrated. I hope you have a beautiful, fun, best-day-of-your-life wedding. :)

    And PS. I LOVE courthouse weddings. Love. them.

    Reply
  13. Janna on December 7, 2011

    S and Alison,
    Thank you for touching on this! We have family all over the U.S. and many of them are very busy finishing up school and neither of us can imagine getting married without some of those very special friends and family by our sides. We are considering a planned courthouse wedding to be able to get married like we want to and then have a ceremony and reception one year later on our anniversary <3 The idea excites me but I have a "friend" totally hating on this tell me we shouldn't have a ceremony or call it a reception. We should apparently just call it an anniversary party but I want to walk down the aisle with my dad and have my first dance and all of those things. I've decided we're doing it our way and all of the people we are doing this arrangement for are ecstatic that we aren't just doing the courthouse so that they can be there with us to celebrate! Thank you for this post and S- you go enjoy yourself and dance and laugh and above all love the day with your husband and baby!

    Reply
  14. Brit @ Landlocked Bride on December 7, 2011

    In the words of Alison – I would like to “face punch” whoever is a naysayer to S. She is entitled to wear the pretty gown and proclaim her love to her husband in front of their friends and family. And, no one should tell her otherwise.

    Weddings are about the marriage and the celebration. And, if they want to have a proper wedding, go for it! I support them! And, I look forward to swooning over her photos, too!

    Reply
  15. Katie on December 7, 2011

    We are in the same boat, and we are rockin’ it! But I totally understand your doubts, because some people just don’t get it! But I don’t really blame these people, we are raised in a society that has certain ideas and now here we are to help people change their minds, right?! In my case it was a very dear friend that was struggling with the idea (“How can you have a wedding but already be married?” she asked) and then had me doubting the idea but now she’s on board! Thank goodness, because for the one naysayer, I had a 100 others saying “When’s the wedding?!? We can’t wait!”. It’s funny how the one person I was hearing the loudest was the negative one! Luckily, I’ve moved past it and now I’m noticing so many other couples that are doing the same!

    The BOTTOM LINE is, If it’s important to you, it will be important to the people who love you. Put the negative thoughts out of your mind and get excited!!! Everyone loves a wedding! And what’s more romantic than a husband that will stand up in front of everyone and marry you not only once, but twice! It gets every time! <3

    Good luck and I can already see your son dressed in his wedding attire! *swoon*

    Reply
  16. Kathryn / Eventually Ever After on December 7, 2011

    People will always hate and have something to say, unfortunately. Weddings are a celebration of a couple’s love and should be a happy occasion. If friends and family cannot understand that and do not want share in the joy of the day, you’re better off without them. Have your wedding exactly as you and your husband want it, and enjoy the heck out of it!

    Reply
  17. Preeti on December 7, 2011

    I really DON’T understand all the hating, maybe I am an idiot.

    My husband is Swedish and I am Indian American. We live in Sweden.

    We had a courthouse wedding. 18 people came to that and it followed with a fun brunch at one of the castles. Five months later we had a traditional, religious, Indian wedding in India with tons of family and friends.

    Swedish culture is *extremely* open to when/how you want to be married. You can legally be partners (sambo) and never even be married. Plus many couples get married AFTER they have children, and some never do. My boss and CEO (of my day job) has four children and been with his sambo (girlfriend) for 17 years. They may get married one day…may not.

    Tons of people here do a Courthouse wedding followed by a wedding/reception in another city/ country.

    I don’t see issues with this as it brings the best of both worlds: families and friends from different places.

    People who pass judgement that you can only be married in this manner or that manner can really go F* themselves. There are no rules. You have the right to have a wonderful wedding that makes you (and your family) happy.

    PS – I wore a white gown on my civil wedding – http://thebigfatindianwedding.com/2010/10-10-10-wedding-love/ and had two Indian wedding outfits for our Indian wedding.

    PPS – To all the brides to be out there, court weddings and any other type of wedding, rocks. Because YOU make it rock.

    Reply
  18. Marie @ Emici Bridal on December 7, 2011

    Dang it! The courthouse wedding literally made me have little happy tears well up into my eyes. How am I supposed to work now? Everything is blurry! This is a beautiful post Alison. I know that we are all fans of love no matter what way we celebrate it in life.

    To the bride, please don’t give it a second thought. Jump into planning your wedding and have fun! Make it what you want. Dance, love, laugh, cry happy tears. It will be a beautiful memory.

    Reply
  19. natalie on December 7, 2011

    Here in England a marriage is only ‘legal’ if its performed by a registrar in a licensed building or “permanent roofed structure”. We had always dreamed of getting married outside, so like many couples here we are doing the official paperwork bit in a registry office, then a couple of days later having our wedding at our venue of choice (in my parents garden) with a lovely celebrant and we can do whatever we like in our made to measure wedding ceremony. Do it your way – who cares about what people say! I’m sure your friends and family won’t be complaining that they get to help celebrate your love!

    Reply
  20. Karen on December 7, 2011

    Go ahead and throw yourselves a party! Comments like you mentioned are the reason I’ve stopped reading message boards on well-known wedding sites! I’m guessing your friends and family will be happy and excited to celebrate with you!!

    Also, I love these pics of this courthouse wedding!!

    Reply
  21. Amelia on December 7, 2011

    I think she should have it! Most people on the internet are hiding behind a screen, ranting about something the have no right to. On the other hand, you have a right to do what makes you happy. If this ‘party’ makes you happy, do it! My best friend was married in a small park with only a few friends due to money, and VERY much plans on having another later in life. So stop looking at the blogs, stop asking people if they thinks its selfish or WHATEVER… AND DO IT!!!!

    Reply
  22. Lena on December 7, 2011

    I’m amazed at how damn judgmental people are about other people’s weddings. I had a friend ask, “But when are you going to have the reception?” when I told her we were going to have a brunch wedding. She’s someone I love dearly, but at that moment I wanted to punch her in the nose.

    So stop planning everyone else’s weddings. And also, maybe get the eff off those bridal boards, because they are clearly toying with your emotions.

    Reply
  23. lexi on December 7, 2011

    I am all for multiple weddings (to the same guy, of course!)
    xx Lexi

    Reply
  24. Libby on December 7, 2011

    If you want a wedding, you deserve one. That’s all there is to it. I sometimes hear people rag on brides who wait a few years to save enough money for a wedding. “Why have a wedding if you can’t afford one,” they say. And it’s not their place to tell anyone how to spend their money or how to celebrate their marriage. If you want a wedding, don’t let anything stop you!

    Reply
  25. Melissa on December 9, 2011

    You should totally go with your wedding if thats what you want! I’m in the process of planning my “wedding” right now and have actually stopped calling it a “wedding” but use the word “celebration” instead….it seems to fit my beliefs a bit better.

    I stopped looking at the Knot forums because of all the bitch girls on there. I got so sick of the “thats a horrible idea, I wouldn’t come, if I knew that would happen I wouldn’t show up….” type of comments. Once I stopped looking at them, I felt much better!

    good luck and best wishes to you!

    Reply
  26. Jackie P on December 10, 2011

    Oh my lordy! DO NOT listen to those crazy people out there! You want a wedding? HAVE YOUR WEDDING!! The way you want to! I have a close friend who was in the exact same situation. You know what? They got married when their daughter was 8mos old. Despite the fact that everyone *preferred* them to do the city hall thing when she found out she was preggers, they decided to just let things happen as they happened. And ya know what? They had a lovely wedding. With an adorable 8month old flower girl. And they are living happily ever after, despite their beautiful, pre-married oops. You have to follow your heart. Get excited about tying the knot – it’s not silly. There’s no reason you should feel about about celebrating not one but two amazing things in your lives with the people you love! Everyone else just needs to get off their judgemental high-horses and leave you alone :)

    Reply
  27. Stephanie M. on December 11, 2011

    I love this post today. I’m glad you answered it. I had a court marriage. Life sort of took my man and I in different directions and to other states. We hated it. We wanted to get married, but the idea of planning a wedding for a year and being apart that much longer didn’t settle well with us. But … I am the only girl in my family and my parents really wanted to be able to give their daughter away. So we had our wedding for our one year anniversary. It didn’t lessen the mood. Our parents still cried!
    So go for it, S!

    Reply
  28. Kat on December 13, 2011

    S and Allison, I can so relate to this post. My fiance and I got engaged in July 2011 and booked a venue for October 2012 to have what is to be a “traditional formal country club wedding” blah blah blah. However, due to changes in personal circumstances I lost my health insurance and for me to purchase cobra coverage would cost me $500 per month (this is nyc). Now thats 12K per year for someone who is not employed and having a wedding! We got court house married yesterday so that I could be added to my now husband’s (still feel weird saying husband lol) insurance. When I first brought up the idea A LOT of people tried to tell me that was going to be my ‘real’ wedding and that I should cancel my October 2012 nuptuals. It was heartbreaking. I am by no means bridezilla, and I already purchased my dream dress. I am having a wedding where my dad walks me down the aisle and a rabbi marries us, but I felt shamed by certain individuals for having a prior court-house piece of paper. Long story short, we just didnt tell anyone but the immediate family and bridal party that were going through with it. but I wish that we could be more honest especially because i will be changing my last name.

    Reply
  29. Marcy on December 13, 2011

    Nothing wrong with this all those naysayers are just haters. Party it up girl and enjoy celebrating your union with all your friends and family!

    I have also struggled with a lot of her thoughts and feelings since I am currently planning my second wedding. I have days where I really feel like I don’t deserve to be the gorgeous bride since I have had it all once before. But I remind myself that my fiancée hasn’t been married before and he deserves the wedding and a gorgeous bride. When I think of it that way I always feel better!

    Reply
  30. Me on December 14, 2011

    I’ve never been a victim of this particular kind of bashing, but I’ve seen other girls tell one woman that her court wedding couldn’t be real because you can’t “decorate”. If it makes you happy and you’re not asking anything of your guests other than their presence, then people have no right to be weird about it. Furthermore, I think the people that would be ecstatic to be invited because it gives them a chance to help you celebrate your marriage, something they missed out on the first time around.
    Do your thing girl.
    [F WORD] the haters.

    Reply
  31. great use of location for photographs

    Reply
  32. Jenn on March 23, 2012

    I had to comment on this! I ended up pregnant and we went to the dmv (in my state you only need to go to the dmv and get a paper signed, the whole thing is like $5)…….and after my son was born I wanted a wedding. i had to deal with a lot of people saying why would you do that, its stupid you’re already married. But you know what…..I believe every woman deserves to have a wedding, you are only supposed to have one once right?? in the end things didn’t work out, and it ended up in the big D…..but go for it and I hope its amazing!!!

    Reply
  33. Jessica @ Cabo Wedding Services on August 31, 2012

    Please don’t listen to negative people who don’t seem to have anything better to do than point out how others should live their lives. You deserve the wedding of your dreams whether it’s your first ceremony, renewal of vows, fifth husband…whatever!

    There are a million reasons why courthouse weddings make more sense for some couples. And absolutely zero good reasons why you shouldn’t have a wedding after the fact.

    You might be surprised to know the actual number of destination weddings that are technically “vow renewals.” Many, many couples do a simple ceremony at home to make the marriage legal and throw a big, beautiful wedding in the destination of their dreams. And we think that’s just fine.

    Reply
  34. Alex on October 5, 2012

    Oh thank you for this! My husband and I had a small courthouse wedding and we were planning for a VR (or wedding) after. I was planning the event and just felt so ashamed after a certain site’s grande dames blasted me. The VR wasn’t going to be a big thing but it was still going to be beautiful with little touches but I just felt bad. After reading this, well…you (and the commentors) have made me feel better about the small vow renewal I have dreamed of.

    Reply
  35. chantel on November 24, 2012

    im sorry,but i got to speak for the so-called ‘haters’ have u commenters ever thought that why the couple want a quick wedding? i hear no one comment that they married for all the wrong reasons so that tells me that most(if not all of you!)are guilty or want to get married very,very soon as possible to avoid the six month traditional wedding!

    Reply
    • Patience on November 27, 2012

      We married because at the time my father was very sick and not expected to live. He wanted to see me marry my husband but I didn’t know if I would be able to plan a wedding so quickly. We married in a courthouse ceremony with my dad there. We put off the VR until we moved and could settle down. We did settle down later and are finally at that chance where we could do something low-key.

      Maybe YOU don’t find that as an excuse as to why we didn’t have a normal wedding but I do. Also, what makes you Emily Post with the “no excuse” bull?

      PS. My dad is currently in remission, I am so thankful for that.

      Reply
      • Patience on November 27, 2012

        Also want to note that even if I had the time to get a wedding ready for my dad, I was certainly not ready to deal with all that planning plus dealing with illness. My husband and I had planned our wedding but with that news I wanted to marry quickly.

        Reply
  36. chantel on November 24, 2012

    or maybe you commenters dont want to hurt s feelings so who are the REAL haters now?

    Reply
  37. chantel on November 24, 2012

    and because a family member dying or dead,thats no excuse for it its called postpone untill further notice or next year!

    Reply
  38. Arlie on July 11, 2013

    Hi, i think that i saw you visited my website so i came to “return the favor”.
    I’m trying to find things to enhance my site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

    Reply

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