PRE-BACHELOR RECAP PERSONAL POST | I needed a good cry today. This did it.

Happy late Tuesday evening, faces.  I truly believe we’ll see eye to eye on this.

Ok, so here’s the thing.  I’m hard at work on the ol’ recap of last night’s balls to the wall episode of The Bachelor right now (o.O) and I’ve gotta say… it’s getting to me.  It’s getting to me in a new way, in addition to all the ways it has gotten to me.  It’s getting to me how very misguided so many of these young ladies are this season.  Misguided about love; what it means, and how to know you’re there.  Misguided about finding “The One” and what that means, and how doing death-defying stunts together does not a lifelong connection forge.  Misguided about getting married, and what it means.  Misguided about life, in general.  About how to treat people.  About the fact that trying to edge out a new contestant is useless, because you can’t *win* this.  You can’t *win* hearts.  You can’t *beat* the other girls.  A bunch of ladies on this show – and in the world – think this is possible.

And I see that and I’m like, What?  WHAT?  Really?  If a man feels a connection with a woman, a man feels a connection with a woman.  It’s not about winning.  It CAN’T be.  And if it is?  If you can *win* a competition for his heart by down-talking your competitor, or bringing her self-esteem down?  If that somehow changes his mind about that girl?  Guess what.  He hasn’t figured out what he’s doing on this earth yet.  He’s probably at the same point in the process of self-discovery as you are.  He is not ready for love, for a relationship, for anything other than self-discovery.

Whatever.  The point is, I’ve been needing a reality check.  A break from recapping this EPIC episode of EPIC EPICNESS.  I needed to look at, and to feel within, something that was real.  Something that was born of a lifetime of love, togetherness, soulfulness and real connection.

Something that spoke to me, and delivered me from the depths of the emotionally immature.

Anyway so cool news: I totally f**king fouuuund that s**t!  Vic Pellicier Photography submitted it, and I’m sharing it with you right now as somewhat of a palate cleanser before I deliver this insaneballs Bachelor recap that’s been humping my brain all day.

I got chills.  They multiplyin’.

Now to bring you back to level-headedness today, there is also this:

Dancing and crying – two of my favorite things it turns out!

What gives you chills?  What are your favorite moments, wedding-wise or  life-wise?  Have you found love?  What makes you know it?  I’d love to hear what’s important to you.

For those of you who care: the Knotty Bachelor recap is in progress, friendlies.  I thank you for your patience.  This one was…… special.  It was a special episode.  Very, very special.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Vic Pellicier Photography

Label(s): *Bachelor/ette Recaps, Real Life Issues

Love all of this...

13 comments

  1. Aww what great pictures! Definitely made me teary!

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  2. The Blind Bride on January 17, 2012

    For me, knowing I found the one is that I lost the “need” to get married. I used to think that the ultimate feeling of love came with marriage and not totally before. Now I know that knowing that I am with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, makes the “need” for me to get married just something that may or may not happen because I know it won’t change our relationship or our connection. (I’m not against marriage for others and love to look at the pics on your blog and others!)

    Reply
  3. Lauren on January 17, 2012

    So true! As much as I love the show, the way the act is insane!
    That pic gave me chills too, thanks for bringing us back to “reality” :)

    Reply
  4. Brandy on January 17, 2012

    I caught myself arguing with the girls/tv last night during the show! My fiance just kind of stared at me. :) I’m so glad you wrote this because I was beginning to wonder if I had been blind to this throughout the past seasons of the bachelor. These girls literally can’t go 2 minutes without making a comment about WINNING a rose or WINNING Ben. I’m confused where they stopped realizing this was actually intended to find “love” (not that I believe it can be found in 6 weeks, even when you’re dating one-on-one…much less when it’s one-on-eighteen). I’ve never thought the show would actually work, but if you’re there, why not at least give it a real chance? Sorry for the rant, but they were just being so mean to Shawntel! At least Shawntel and Ben somewhat knew each other from both being a part of the “bachelor family”. Why on earth they kept referring to her being “Brad’s trash” made no sense to me. What does Brad have to do with Ben and this season? Just saying… last night’s episode was messed up.

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  5. chandra ~ Oh Lovely Day on January 18, 2012

    I came by wanting to get my bachelor recap (DVR failed me yet again while I was in full blown Breaking Bad marathon mode from Netflix) and I have to tell you, I’m happier that I read this post. Thanks girlfriend. me loves.

    But I still want my muthereffingbachelorrecap!

    Reply
  6. Lena on January 18, 2012

    How did you know I was in need of a good cry? I mean, granted, I had my ugly cry last night, but you could have been hiding in our bedroom for how REAL this post is, and how you got to the heart of what John told me as I was melting down. He held me and said, I’ll always remember this night, which I sobbed was a terrible thing to say. Then he told me that he’s going to remember it because he wished 15 year old him could have known that one day, he’d be holding this woman he loves in the home they share. And then I cried s’more.

    Which was the opposite of the Bachelor. But we’ll discuss that later. For now, let’s focus on that photo, which honest to God gave me chills.

    Reply
  7. Nikki on January 18, 2012

    I had a moment with my Dad right before he walked me down the aisle that felt just like this photo. I wish someone had captured it, but I’m sure I’ll have no problem remembering it forever.

    What is with these bachelor gals?? I applaud Brittany for realizing this was not how to find love and moving on. This season is extra entertaining because my Husband has an ex girlfriend on the show ;)

    Reply
  8. Sara on January 18, 2012

    I LOVE photos like this that really capture the emotions of the day! I have one of my grandmother and I cherish it.

    Oh, and lol @chills, they multiplyin’

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  9. Ariana on January 18, 2012

    Alison, please please please keep in mind that nothing is real in reality tv. ALL of this stuff is planned out and staged. The girls are looking to “Win” because that means they’ll be on tv longer.

    A few years ago I auditioned for the short-lived reality dating show Mamma’s Boys. I auditioned for the part of “Geek girl.” That’s right, they were that specific. They even said at some point in the show the other girls in the house were going to give the “geek girl” a makeover and make her all pretty. So don’t even try to analyze the emotions of these girls, cause they’re all fake. Ok, you can keep trying, cause it makes for fun blog posts. :)

    Reply
  10. Nicole Rene on January 18, 2012

    Awwwww that picture made me tear up. How lame is that? Well, I cry easily so that’s my excuse! I work at a bridal shop & when a bride finds her dress I usually have to walk away because I tear up at the expressions on her face & on her families or friends. Also, I sometimes force myself to NOT ask how the fiance proposed because without fail that ALWAYs makes me tear up… I am such a girl.

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  11. Susan on January 22, 2012

    LOVE how you showed how getting the moment is so important! It is one thing to take pretty pictures, and it is another thing to capture such emotion.

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  12. Ilana on January 23, 2012

    Okay. I don’t watch The Bachelor, but I do love the recaps – I’m feel like I get the best “director’s cut” without having to subject my household (fiance and dog) to the horrors of this kind of drama.

    Bring on the soapbox. I can’t understand the drama and facade that fills our TV world today! I mean honestly – I just saw a commercial for Toddlers in Tiaras and I threw up a little. Reality TV is not where you find love! (although Nikki – I would LOVE to see an ex-boyfriend on The Bachelorette or an ex of the FH!! haa!) anyway – this isn’t real life, people. The “real world” doesn’t happen this way and that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.

    Those photos took my breath away. It’s the little moments that make the most incredible memories. It’s curling up in front of the fire on a snowy night watching Kung Fu and eating Chinese take-out with our dog, it’s knowing someone so well that you can read their thoughts from the other side of the house, it’s the tears of joy from loved ones on the wedding day. Those don’t develop in 6 weeks of a dating show.

    Reply
  13. Vic Pellicier Photo on January 24, 2012

    Thanks for featuring my work, and thanks for the kind words.

    - Vic

    Reply

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