Happy Tuesday afternoon, folks! Alison here, blogging from the lovely Las Vegas at WPPI, and kind of wishing I didn’t have to go back to NY after THIS AMAZING WEATHER OUT HERE. I mean… people LIVE like this, in nice weather most of the year? I am officially addicted to the sunshine.
Ok, moving right along, today’s question from a reader is a doozie, not to mention, a not-so-unusual problem brides can have. I’d love to hear your thoughts for Miss E., and if you have any advice for her! As always, I’m just one li’l ol’ person in a sea of advice-having people, and I think Miss E will appreciate whatever you may have to say. Alrighty, here we go…..
One of my bridesmaids got engaged 3 months after I did. I am so happy for her as she is a good friend and they are a great couple. What makes me sad is that now when we are with our group of friends she dominates the conversation with her wedding. My wedding is first but she has now moved her wedding date to be within two weeks of mine, purchased a nearly identical dress after she saw which one I was getting and is getting married in Europe so all of our friends can’t stop talking about the vacation/trip to Europe/her wedding. Plus, some of the concepts I shared with her before her engagement are now going to be in her wedding, too. I was saving them as surprises but all of our friends now think that she had the idea so it looks like I took it from her and used it first. I feel like she is trying to upstage my day. It is too late to change the concept, colors and theme. I just want to cry and can’t understand why she would do this. We were close. Any advice? I really want her out of the wedding but I know that would just make all of this look worse.
First, let me reassure you that all the family members at your wedding will be surprised. So will everybody else there, who doesn’t know or talk to this copycat bridesmaid. The only people who will not be surprised are the few with whom you shared your plans. That adds up to a large number of surprised people.
However, a wedding should primarily be about you and the one you love, starting out on a lifetime of married bliss together. It’s nice to have some touches that show your creativity and maybe even cause some guests to be amazed. But that should all be secondary.
If you and your husband are looking at each other with heartfelt joy all the day and night of your wedding day, that’s what your guests will be talking about when they drive home, and even after a time, when they remember your special day. It won’t be the fireworks or the clowns or the Air Force Jets flyover. Well… maybe the flyover will be remembered and talked about.
But, if you start thinking about “that bridesmaid” and the others she shared her/your wedding ideas with on “your day,” you will miss the best day of your life. Before your wedding day think about how bad a candid picture of you glaring at her will look. When you realize how your preoccupation with her could mess with your mood, your posture and your smile on your day, don’t think of her at all. But, if you do, take the high road and remember that: “Imitation is the highest form of flattery.”
Have the confidence to know that your friends by now know which one of you is more creative. That is why I’m reluctant to tell you to confront her or to tell your other friends that she is stealing your ideas. There are too many unpredictable outcomes to going those routes, and most of them are bad. Also why risk losing out on a fun trip to Europe with your new hubby. I’m not assuming you’d do this, but if the urge comes to you, resist telling everyone when you’re at her wedding: “See that, it was my idea. See that. It was my idea too.”
And if you still can’t shake the anger, remember that living a good life is the best revenge. :)
Hope this is helpful!
Okie dokie you guys, I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts/advice for Miss E!