PERSONAL POST | This week I’m finally sharing the biggest announcement of my little life. And I’m freaking out.

Ok, SO.  It’s what–almost 11pm EST? and hey check me out, cuz I’m BLOGGIN’.  I’ve spent much of the evening trying to wrap up ye olde latest recap of The Bachelor, so it took me a little extra time to get up a normal post today.  Sorry, hope you don’t mind.  Thanks for being so patient, regardless.

Ok here we go.  Something is about to really get underway in my little world, and then kinda sorta potentially blow it the eff up and out.  And I’ve been sitting on it, almost denying its existence, for what feels like forever.  Which is stupid, but I’ll explain why I think that is, shortly.

Yeah so that sounded horrible.  This thing that’s getting underway is a good thing, it’s not a bad thing.  ANYWAY WHATEVER.

I’ve been preparing myself for a while now to begin sharing more of my life with youz guyz.  I really enjoy keeping it real with all y’all; with my new readers just as much as with my loyal readers, which is just as much as with my lurkers :).  I thrill to talk about real stuff just as much as I love sharing killer wedding ideas and inspiration, and it’s why blogging has been so rewarding for me, personally.  I dig that I get to do this, and interacting with and hearing feedback from you guys is honestly my favorite part of the whole thing.  It drives me to blog.  I cherish the relationship we have – it’s weird but I feel like I know all of you – and I’m looking forward to all that is to come.  All the juicy, tearful, intense, bodily-function-related, joyous, sexy and generally emotional topics we have yet to discuss in depth.  Especially the sexy and the emotional.  The bodily-function-related come in dead last.  Dead. last.

Now, this getting more personal thing?  I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t tell you that it’s frightening new territory for me.  And so I hope it’s not a bother or something you’re not interested in hearing more regularly.  Do just let me know.  It’s just that on the occasions that I’ve gotten pretty personal in the past, I’ve noticed that it’s something you guys seemed to react to quite positively, and waaay more of you consistently seemed to identify with the experiences I was blogging about than I’d ever expected.  The thing is, you may be surprised to hear this but it’s kind of really hard for me to get super personal about *me* and the ins and outs of my personal life.  Laying all of that out… like, just putting it out there and being raw like that… it’s a scary notion.  I’m a very private person, believe it or not.  It’s taken me months even to get to this point, of readiness, just to start talking about doing this.

No I’m not pregnant.  I think it was starting to sound like a pregnancy announcement.  Sorries!  Not. Pregs.  Ok as I was saying.

Ok.  Here’s what I feel you need to know about me:

I’m not good at being the center of attention.  That’s wrong; the truth is I’m actually pretty horrible at it.  Because I’ve never felt that it’s something that I necessarily deserve, even on my birthday.  I am blessed to have kind parents; I truly couldn’t have lucked out more in that department, and so that’s why I’m absolutely certain that a person’s psyche and personality is as much if not more the result of nature, as it is the result of nurture.  Because I’ve been more of a wallflower than anything else, all my life.

Most of the people I know are very into celebrating their birthdays and other special occasions in the most exciting and explosive ways they possibly can; many celebrate over a series of days!  I actually admire people like that.  People who can grab hold of the beauty of their existence, and then celebrate the f**k out of it, like everyone deserves to do.  To celebrate life.  Parties are a beautiful celebration of life, love and togetherness, and they are something I find paramount to a pleasurable existence.  Celebration.  Still, for me to celebrate MY existence, on a scale any larger than at home with some family and a couple of friends?  It’s something I just could never, ever wrap my head around doing, without feeling like a fool.

I’m actually tearing up now, writing this.  I didn’t expect to get all emo on your asses today.  Though it’s kind of reaffirming the fact that I should be blogging topics like this one.

I think I come off as a really outgoing, confident, in control kind of person on this blog.  And while the outgoing part is accurate at this point in my life, the ‘confident’ part?  Still working on that.  Getting better, but not even close to where I hope to be in the future.  And the ‘in control’ part?  I am convinced, as I rightly should be, that any semblance of control I may dream of having in life is destined to elude me for the duration of my existence on this Earth.  I believe that, by virtue of the crazy, free-spiritedness that is my birthright, I simply don’t get to have the *organized, with a great memory* birthright that is intrinsic to the nature of so many of the people I admire and who exist in my personal world.

That’s of course where Honey and I come together (SHUT IT, NOT LIKE THAT).  We complement one another in some of the best ways I could have dreamed for my life, in a partner and in a relationship, and so it’s something I cherish and thank my lucky stars for quite regularly.

So anyway.  I wanted to share all of that with you, not only so that you’d start to get to know a little bit more about me and how I am and how I function, but also so that I could offer you a bit more understanding as to why it has taken me many months to become comfortable with this next huge step I’m taking, which is coming in the form of the-biggest-announcement-of-my-life, this week.

Just writing that gives me goosebumps.  Or it could be Bambino licking my foot right now.  It’s either Bambino or the sharefest I just threw up all over your faces.

Speaking of Bambino.  My bro shared this video with me today and if you haven’t already seen it, omigod I hope you love even half as much as I do.  It made my WORLD.

I hope you’re digging the sharing, you guys.  Cuz I sort of preemptively just did a crapload of sharing, you know, up there where I wrote a post.  I’m hoping the heads-up about our upcoming giveaway with the amazeballs Tessa Kim makes up for the blah blah blabbering!  I’mma stop talking now.

xoxo  - Alison

Image credits, clockwise: sheer dress / Tessa Kim by Candice Benjamin Photography / Grace Kelly on the beachTessa Kim by Candice Benjamin Photography

Tessa Kim and Candice Benjamin Photography are members of Vendor Love.  To browse our recommended vendors, click here.

Label(s): Popular *New*, Real Life Issues

Love all of this...

28 comments

  1. Marie on February 28, 2012

    Want to hear all about it Alison. We love you, we are here for you, we get super excited for you. xo

    Reply
  2. chandra ~ Oh Lovely Day on February 28, 2012

    can’t wait for you to share! but, that’s because I’m one of your lurkers who is happy to celebrate your birthday with cards about dog balls and whore teacups :) loveyameanit!

    Reply
  3. Koru Kate {Koru Wedding} on February 28, 2012

    very, very exciting!!!!

    Reply
  4. Kelsey on February 28, 2012

    Can’t wait. I’m new here . I found you with the help of Bachelor recaps. You are so freaking funny and an amazing blogger with a great sense of humor. Thanks so much for sharing! :)

    Reply
  5. Estefy on February 28, 2012

    I’m freaking on edge waiting to hear!

    Reply
  6. Em on February 28, 2012

    I too am a faker of being outgoing and confident. I own a bridal store and get excited about other peoples weddings and blog about the details and DIY aspects… I am getting married myself next week and haven’t been able to get excited about it because I feel like a fraud for some reason. Like everyone will laugh at my own wedding, or think I’m not enough to deserve it. I wish I was more outgoing too and didn’t give a shite what people think.
    I love your blog to death Alison, you make me laugh every time I read one of your posts, and I know I’m not the only one that refreshes your site many times over to see if there’s a new post up. You deserve amazing things, and we all can’t wait to hear about it!!

    Reply
  7. Meg on February 28, 2012

    Share on! I think that anyone who follows your blog loves your sense of humour and entertaining posts… perhaps the blog is an outlet for you to be yourself without exposing yourself – BUT THAT’S OK!! You should be confident… we obviously all think you’re awesome and love you so please keep sharing :)

    Oh and I’m still planning to marry Bambs… I actually went back through all your posts tagged Mr. McPuppypants just to ogle him ;)

    Reply
  8. Em on February 28, 2012

    I am so thankful that I got to see your face last week…and I’m soooo excited for this. Xoxo

    Reply
  9. I really like weddings on February 28, 2012

    Thanks for sharing how you feel! I am all hugs and all ears here. I am horrible with my emotions and saying how I really feel. I am excited for your big announcement! Deep breaths and big smiles :)

    PS: that doggie DJ is AMAZING. I’m all giggles

    Reply
  10. Robbins Brothers [Shulie] on February 28, 2012

    I totally thought you were pregnant, too. lulz. Not that your real news is going to be disappointing or anything. Excited to hear the news! *boogie* And we likes the sharing and the hugging and the touching.

    Reply
  11. Kristen on February 29, 2012

    Alison, I think it’s a great step and one that will really connect you to your readers. I for one applaud it. Oh, and I still love seeing Mr. Bambino. Pure cuteness on four legs! :)

    Reply
  12. Maire on February 29, 2012

    With all the sharing you let us do on here, it would only be right for you to do the same with us.

    Reply
  13. francine on February 29, 2012

    <3 <3 <3 !!!!!!

    Reply
  14. Anna Kim on February 29, 2012

    Oh Alison,

    Thank you for being real. We love and support you ~ you’ve been such an inspiration in so many ways.

    xoxo,
    a

    Reply
  15. Laura *You Stir Me* on February 29, 2012

    Love love love finding out a little more about you and can’t wait for even more sharing!

    Reply
  16. Shannon on February 29, 2012

    I’m totally with you on everything you said! From thinking you were announcing that you were pregnant (ha, ha) and the fact that being the center of attention is hard – and awkward – and just strange sometime. I’m not into birthdays either and it was odd to have everyone staring at ME on our wedding day – so I hope you know that there are a lot of us out there who have issues with this :). You are amazing – and so is your blog! I can’t WAIT to hear your big news :).

    Reply
  17. Casey on February 29, 2012

    Hooray! I think you are brilliant, and I would love to hear more about your, as a person. I totally completely get the thing about not liking to be the center of attention. I am going through that in planning my bridal shower and bachelorette party with my dear friends. I want it to be special, but not over the top. We all have to learn that sometimes we are the center of attention and that if we don’t take it to the limit (one more time?) that we are denying ourselves something and making our self seem unimportant. So I’m walking the line between modesty/frugality/embarrassment and living it up/making things special. Good luck to you! [and yes, I thought you were pregs, sorry!]

    Reply
  18. Kirsten on February 29, 2012

    Did I miss it?! Love hearing about you… and yes… I am very similar… that’s why I love blogging (even though I’ve ignored mine for years now – didn’t think people wanted to read about my wedding planning last year!). Can’t wait to hear about your news. You sharing about yourself makes your blog that much more different than others… we feel like we know you and can comment and ask questions. Cheers to you!

    Reply
  19. Nicole on February 29, 2012

    tell us! we love you!!
    and i love that video ~ SO cute!

    Reply
  20. Estefy on February 29, 2012

    I just noticed my typo. I meant “I’m on edge HERE!” I was tired…*shifty eyes* Still on edge tho… hurry! haha

    Reply
  21. Kristen on February 29, 2012

    I love the way you write and I even read the bachelor biz, though its nothing I would ever spend time watching on tv…BUT…whats up with announcing you have an announcement? Bro, that shit drives a lady up the wall. I totally feel you on everything you said, and I think its great you’re pushing yourself personally, but the headline builds the whole post up in a way that is annoyingly anti-climactic. climatic. anti-it’s effing annoying is what I mean. But I forgive you.

    Reply
  22. Jamie Loop on February 29, 2012

    Al… I just love you. Thank you for sharing more, and for the tease on the upcoming announcement :) Can’t wait to hear it! <3

    Reply
  23. Kristen Nichols on February 29, 2012

    Lovely personal post. What you think you lack in confidence, you more than make up for it in bravery, humility, humor & intelligence. Plus, you’re one of the most awesome individuals Ive ever had the pleasure to lnow. Proud to call you friend. Xoxo

    Reply
  24. Lena on February 29, 2012

    I’m going to tell you a secret. No sane person starts a blog if they’re not a little bit of a wallflower. Or at least that’s my personal, but fairly well researched opinion. But the reason we all love you is for you who are, every last little bit of you, and a big huge amazing announcement sounds like just about the best thing ever. I can’t wait to hear your good news!

    xoxoxoxoxoxxoxooxox, Vocket

    Because that wasn’t personal.

    Reply
  25. Sofia {Brancoprata} on February 29, 2012

    I just love when you get a bit more personal!!! Can’t wait to find out more on this!!!

    Reply
  26. bridal girl on March 1, 2012

    I do agree with you and I am also the same especially the part when you said about not liking the attention. Love to see more about your blogs.

    Reply
  27. Nikki on March 2, 2012

    I love personal tidbits! I’m going to be honest…I actually comment more when people post personal stuff about their lives because it feels more like a conversation, opposed to a corporate posting. Although nothing about this blog is corporate…I’m pretty sure a company would get in trouble for talking about balls and such. Maybe not my company but most ;)

    Excited to hear your news. It’s always hard to take the next step…whatever it may be. I’m still waiting for that shove ;) I’m also really really hoping that when I scroll down there is a bachelor recap. No pressure, just praying to the big lady in the sky ;)

    Reply
  28. Tahleen on March 3, 2012

    I’m more of a lurker than anything on here, but I love your posts, both the wedding and personal ones! Your sense of humor and outlook are really refreshing and I really enjoy reading what you have to say. Looking forward to the announcement! I am fully supportive of the sharing posts. :)

    Also, I love Bambino.

    Reply

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