PERSONAL POST + HUNGER GAMES | You guys, I never thought I’d be as bad as *those girls*. Famous last words.

Happy Tuesday evening, you guys!  Ok I, uhh… well I need to tell you something.  Here, huddle round.

So you know that show Bridezillas, the one that I refuse to watch because it’s the worst possible representation of a bride, let alone a woman in general, during one of the most emotional times of her life?  Well, I turned to it recently TOTALLY BY ACCIDENT NO REALLY I SWEAR and I caught an exchange between I think a bride and her sister.  Or best friend.  I think it was a maid of honor situation.

You guys.  YOU GUYS.  The bride was acting like A TOTAL BEACH.  She was so beachy, you guys.  Like, ‘The Exorcist’ level beachiness.  Like she was saying weird, uncommon things like “I don’t want that animosity in my hair,” and “you’re supposed to be my servant until the day of the wedding, what is there left to explain,” and “my only responsibility in this is to be BEAUTIFUL,” and “everything’s gotta be PERFECT,” and “STFU because I’ll slap you too I’M NOT AFRAID OF ANYBODY.” and “[fisticuffs].”  No seriously, there were physical altercations, between people who considered themselves friends.  It was a mess, y’all.  I would retire to Buenos Aires and never return to face my family again if I ever decided to start acting like that to my own family and friends.  Because really, HOW DO YOU COME BACK FROM THAT.

And before I started planning my own wedding, I was always like, “OMFG.  I swear, these girls.  OMFG.  I will never.  NEVER.  EVAARRRRRRR be that bad, when I start planning my own wedding.  They are insane in the membrane!  Insane in the brain!”

And then, I started planning my wedding.

And you know what?  No man-on-man combat has occurred, yet, but I have to admit to you, right here, right now, that it is *not that hard* to turn the volume up to eleven on the beachiness.

Now of course, I don’t take to the level of the ladies on that show, in my normal life.  Nor do I think it’s even physically possible for me to get as beachy as the beaches on Bridezillas get.  That’s like the upper echelon of unaddressed-anger-issues-induced beachy.  Those ladies are *chosen* out of a sea of ladies who can only hope to be the most beachy-seeming out of all the beaches, by the casting agents.  The women chosen to be on that show are performing in the 95th percentile of top test takers in the area of beachiness.  So.  I mean.

But STILL.  It’s amazing how easily, how quickly, you can start to lose track of the main objective, and instead start to lose control of your emotions.  The main objective, of course, being that whole “I’m ultimately planning a celebration around a loving ceremony, in which I express my love to my love, and he, his love, to me, and then we’re going to get to have the sex for the rest of our lives, until we have the children who will undoubtedly throw a wrench in that sex in terms of its frequency and ease-of-having, but at least we’ll have adorable littles who we love and who we will hopefully raise not to be menaces to society.”

You know, THAT whole thing.  The important thing.  The love thing.  Isn’t it incredible how easy it is to get caught up in everything else… everything but the important thing?  I mean I haven’t even STARTED to think about my vows.  And I’m a writer.  I’m a writer and I haven’t even started to think about my vows.  Wow, when I type it out it’s jarring.  But anyway, here’s the thing: wherever it was along the way that I started to get overwhelmed by it all, I’ve definitely noticed something.  I’ve noticed that at times, I can be a bit… *short* on the phone.  It’s like I don’t have enough time for a phone call.  Especially when I’m speaking to my Mom.  My MOM.  How EVIL is that?  It’s simply not ok, and I don’t want it to continue, certainly not.  I just don’t ever feel like I have any time anymore.  You know?  It’s both a business-induced pressure, and a self-imposed pressure.  But what it mainly is, is a PRESSURE, pressin’ down on me, and I seem to be feeling it more and more as I continue trying to make decisions about my wedding day.  ACK!

Ok, enough.  I just wanted to share all of that in the interest of remaining transparent here on the blog.  Because I imagine that if I’M feeling it, it’s highly likely a lot of others are feeling some kind of pressure, too, and I’m all about addressing the Real Realities of wedding planning and everything that can come along with it.  This *pressure* thing has been getting at me, like on a cellular level.  It’s cray.

Listen, I’d definitely be curious to know if you’ve surprised your own self, in terms of your emotions, and the pressures you feel you’ve been facing, as you’ve planned or continue to plan your wedding.

Or am I the only beach on this beach.

Ok.  Now.  I have to say… when I introduced this new series entitled “Reader Challenges,” last week… I honestly never expected to get the submissions we’ve ended up getting.  Oh, have no doubt that I was HOPING for the best, because I was– I was definitely hoping.  But did I think my wildest dreams would come true?  Dreams of receiving fun write-ups, and expertly arranged photo collages, bearing images not only striking in their beauty but also clear in their relevance to the task at hand?  Did I think I was going to get more than a few that were stellar?  NO.  ME NOT EXPECTED THAT.  ME EXPECTATIONS SOPRESSATA’D.

SUPERSEDED, ME MEAN.

ME EXPECTATIONS EXCEEDED?  SOUND RIGHT, ME MOVE ON NOW ME BORED.

Anyway so I gotta say, I’m pretty pumped to be sharing our faves, aka THE WINNERS!  Our first winning submission was submitted by  Carlene of Naturally Yours Events, and I WUV IT SOOO.

Here’s Carlene’s vision for that gorgeous board:

My vision was to show the opposites of Katniss and Peeta’s life thrown into the capital and their life in District 12 by incorporating very glamorous details with rustic elements. The color palette reflected the silvers and blacks of District 12, the royal purples and golds of the Capital, orange since this is Peeta’s favorite color, and red for the “Girl on Fire.” I wanted to show a simple buttercream frosted cake with berries since these were significant in the books and to incorporate Peeta’s love for baking. I also envisioned there would be a cheese wheel cake based on Prim’s gift to Katniss on reaping day. The dress pictured is fashioned to look like feathers and yet still modern in a simple grey. The hairstyle is a recreation of Katniss’ signature look, but with an elegant twist. Black feathers are introduced to incorporate the Mockingjay that is so significant in the books while the birdcage can be used as a card box. Finally, I just love the arrow seating chart. This is a nice touch without the bride actually bringing in a bow and arrow on the wedding day.

So…

1. Am I a beach?  Or have you ever felt beachy, too, and I’m not the only beach.

2. how do you think she did?  ARE YOU NOT INSPIRED??  Haha, no but seriously… are you?  ME IS.

xoxo  - Alison

image credits: 1. / 2. / 3. / 4. / 5. / 6. / 7. / 8. / 9.

Label(s): {My Wedding}, {Reader Challenges}

Love all of this...

17 comments

  1. Jenna on April 3, 2012

    Love this post, Alison. First off, I live for these posts where you get really honest with us. Thank you for that. Second, it’s good to know I’m not the only one surprising myself with the myriad ways I’m reacting to this wedding planning process. I’m a few months in and it’s more intense than I ever expected. Don’t get me wrong, I do love it and feel very lucky to be able to be doing it. But man have I been one big ball of emotions lately!

    You’ll get through it, we all get there sometimes. C’est la vie. :)

    And the Hunger Games inspiration is so fabulous! That is one chic hunger games wedding, I tell you what. :)

    Reply
  2. Emily on April 4, 2012

    I was not expecting the hunger games submissions to be this pretty! I actually feel like pinning this to my own wedding board! Great work!

    And dear Alison, we love you, no matter how biotchy you may think you are getting. Stay “beachy” (I love that spelling, btw!!) if it means more posts like this! That’s probably bad advice, but I stand by it lol

    Reply
  3. Wow I am so honored to be a winner of this challenge! Thanks so much to Alison for fun projects like this! I had a blast putting this together and have even more chic Hunger Games ideas on my pinterest board: http://pinterest.com/nyeventschicago/hunger-games-inspiration-shoot/

    Check it out!

    Reply
  4. frugallywed on April 4, 2012

    “I don’t want that animosity in my hair” *sniggers*

    Reply
  5. Dina on April 4, 2012

    Yes, Alison. the answer is YES. I NEVER thought I’d be this person with these emotions. I hate to say this, but I constantly have to remind myself that everyone else’s main concern in life is not my big day. REALLY? You mean to tell me that everyone doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night sweating because they had a “nightmare” about my dress? GETOUTATOWN.

    I’ve also endured my dose of bulls#%t from people too. It’s amazing. People are AMAZING. keep your head up. You know, I actually was thinking about you the other day and was wondering how much pressure you were feeling, and I wanted to ask you how it was going. But then I was all, “naw, Dina… You don’t REALLY know her, and she has plenty of ppl that care and sheet.

    But really. I’m sure you feel a ton of pressure to make it bigger and better and ridonk. I just wish the best for you. I want your big day to be what you want it to be, not what you feel pressured for it to be. You deserve that. I love you.

    Reply
  6. Casey on April 4, 2012

    I love you so much! “It’s amazing how easily, how quickly, you can start to lose track of the main objective, and instead start to lose control of your emotions” – YES!! This is exactly how I have felt multiple times throughout planning disasters. Keep your eyes on the prize lady!

    Reply
  7. Sarah on April 4, 2012

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I’m a regular reader of your blog, but haven’t really posted before, however the bridal “beachiness” topic has really hit home with me! Right after getting engaged, a switch flipped and I all of a sudden could not handle “helpful” suggestions, or even handle discussing the wedding with people! I know most people were just excited and wanted to give me their input, but I just couldn’t handle it. Granted, some individuals did have very annoying and unhelpful suggestions, but as my normal self I would have been able to deal with this. Bride self just could not and and sometimes still can not deal with it. My wedding is in less than 3 weeks, and I must confess I had a meltdown just a few days ago! I am convinced it wont end until I’m on my honeymoon. Can’t wait to be a normal human being again and just be married to my best friend :)

    Reply
  8. Katie on April 4, 2012

    so funny you say this, because I recently reminded myself to avoid being “short” with my momma as well. somehow, they’re usually the person best able to irk us (and best able to understand us too.. wonder if there’s a correlation there? probably.) but you’re not alone!

    Reply
  9. Katy Thomassie on April 4, 2012

    Hi lady! Long-time lurker, one-time commenter (the cute mug on Urban Outfitters!)

    Planning our wedding was so fun. I don’t get a lot of chances to use my creativity and so for the year and a half that we scraped every penny for our little budget wedding I had stars in my eyes about all the DIY details and fun nerdy aspects I’d incorporate. Our bridal party did very little and I asked for very little and did most things myself. I even threw our own co-bachelor(ette) party. Our friends aren’t exactly rich, so I never expected anything from them and would have felt guilty asking them for anything more than a little of their time. I’m not complaining, truly. My co-workers are like family and handled all the set up and coordination for the big day and I felt so lucky and humbled that I had people who cared that much. Anyway, I think having a smaller wedding (100 people, maybe?) allowed for my stress level to stay lower. Don’t get me wrong, I cried many times over stupid details during the planning stages and dragged my husband to craft stores more times than I care to mention. While I have very little material things to show from the big day, it was some of the best memories of my life. Seriously, we have, like, nothing to show for it. Our wedding photographer took our money and ran – no good pictures. (It’s a longer story that I won’t bore you with, but yeah…) Luckily I had scraped enough together for a photo booth for the guests which went over very well. But it is heartbreaking when I think of all the tiny details that I worked so hard to create and now have no pictures of. After a few months of depression and no luck getting our pictures, a few weeks ago, our lovely friends helped re-create our wedding on a tiny scale (less than 30 people) and had another photographer take pictures of us – which are effing AMAZING! (And they say you never wear your wedding dress again – ha!) I guess that is my very LONG way of saying that all that matters in the end is that you get married and don’t ruin friendships in the process. I wasn’t a Bridezilla, but I definitely had my irrational, crazy moments that ended in tears and/or tantrums. But I never once went to bed angry or without apologizing and making nice. Because in the end, your friends and family are your support system and no matter how perfect you want your wedding to be, it’s never worth burning bridges. So have your Bridezilla moment if you must, then take a step back, apologize and remind everyone how much stress you are under and how much you love them still. That’s what your day is all about after all – love. xoxo Katy

    Reply
  10. Cheryl on April 4, 2012

    It happens to all of us and you’re totally NOT a beach. It’s really stressful to coordinate and herd a ridiculous amount of people you know intimately. All that while trying NOT to have everything look like a hot mess at the same time. It’s a lot of pressure for just for one day. The bottom line is that you’re getting married to honey and he loves you for who you are.

    You know what I did when things got stressful? Took a break with a friend and got some coffee. Or went on a day trip with the hubs. You have to take a break. You MUST spend a whole day doing non-wedding related stuff once and awhile.

    It will be awesome no.matter.what. Your wedding will gorgeous. You got this. You’re awesome. :) <3

    Reply
  11. Raychel Wade on April 4, 2012

    I’m not planning a wedding but I have been the biggest beach of all the land (phone or no phone) so I’m here for ya.

    Reply
  12. Lena on April 4, 2012

    I think my most horrifying recent comment was, “Why don’t you understand what’s important to meeeee?!?!???” Because, of course, the people who love you are obtuse and immovable to things that are important to you. I’m hoping that when this is all over, our beaches will be washed my a good, cold wave and we won’t have to talk like that to our mothers. It’s always mom.

    Reply
  13. Shannon on April 4, 2012

    I am so scared of becoming that beach, haha! Makes me nervous to plan my wedding! :P

    Reply
  14. I have never seen that show, but I honestly can’t imagine a groom going through with the wedding if THAT is how his woman acts. I mean, cursing your own family …! His family! I even recently asked my husband if I was bad when it came to our planning and he said he couldn’t remember. SCORE! No bad memories to be told. Whether I was stressed or not, I did not frighten him to the point where he goes, “OMFG …!”

    Reply
  15. Armenian wedding on April 5, 2012

    Very lovely pictures and very nice Article !

    Reply
  16. Lori on April 6, 2012

    At my wedding, we just went with the flow, no special super planning, no crazy beachy stuff goin on, just love and excitement and happiness

    Reply
  17. Naomi on April 7, 2012

    I plead the fifth an event planner planning her own wedding…OMG I thought I was going to be horrible but I was pretty chill…most of the time. It’s what happened before we left for our wedding in Puerto that should have been recorded…it was classic and my hubby still brings it up to this day…he said he was scared. Ummm yes, it was that bad!

    Reply

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