The 3 Reasons You Love Ryan Gosling, and the Dresses You Should Wear When You Get Saved By Him.

Oh, is it Friday already?  Wow.  Ok, first things first……. shout out to my pops, whose bday is today.  Happy Birthday, Dad.  I love you like a daughter. ;)  You really are the best.

Ok, so this morning I saw something PRETTY FUTHER MUCKING INCREDIBLE.

To her credit, Cassie, one of our newer bloggistas who you’ll remember debuted here on TKB with a post about farting – lol – brought it to my attention.  What she told me, was that there is a comic out about Ryan Gosling.  More specifically, it’s a super hero Ryan Gosling comic.  Keep your pants on and put your finger away, it’s not what you think.  Cause if you’re me you’re thinking, “gosh; if someone took it upon themselves to be the person credited with creating a super hero comic about Ryan Gosling, well then surely they’ve taken the task to heart.  SURELY they’ve worked tirelessly to depict Ryan as he is seen through the eyes of those who love him.  Surely, SURELY, this person has drawn Ryan Gosling in a way that honors the huge gym commitment he makes.

… SURELY.”

Well it turns out, whoever drew this comic totally wants Ryan Gosling dead.  Because the illustrated version you’re about to see of The Gos is a beyond totes inaccurate depiction.  BEYOND, beyond.  Here look, judge for yourself:

Let’s start with the obvious issue… the muscles are all wrong.  In that there are NONE ON HIS BODY.  He is Ryan Gosling not Topher Grace.  Second, the girl in the picture isn’t orgasming off his mere touch.  Third, I don’t understand the 70s office attire.  He is a sex symbol and actor, not an extra on the set of Office Space.  Fourth, lobster claws for hands.

What do you guys think–  Decent drawing of Ryan?  Or total fail on the WannaBangum Scale?  If you ask me, on a scale of 1 to 10, this drawing is not making me wet.  (Well ok it’s making me a little wet; but that’s just because seeing his name is 60% of the journey.)

Here’s the thing.  We as a society are most drawn to this manboy for three distinct reasons:

  • he seems emotionally present/available and compassionate to a fault,
  • he seems mysteriously emotional, and
  • his thick, thick arms make our girl parts cry.  With emotion, cry with emotion I mean.  Of course.  They cry so hard with emotion, you guys.

So that’s why this comic is kind of a buzzkill for me.  Though, to the artist’s credit, I will note that he is depicted as pretty quiet and mysterious in the comic strip, so that’s essentially accurate.  But again, the muscles.  The musculature is everything with this guy, so where is it.  The biceps, the triceps, the exquisite firmness of his thighs, his derriere and the way he walks around with it high up in the air, as if to taunt me, beckoning me with his str– ok, wait… what was I talking about again?  I have completely lost my train of thought.

Let’s get to these dresses, shall we?  And in a new kind of thingie I’m starting today, sort of as a thank you to everyone who gave me song suggestions this week, I’m going to recommend a tune called ‘Give Me Love’ by Ed Sheeran (from a recent Victoria’s Secret commercial) to play for your listening enjoyment, whilst you scroll through the images below which are here for your visual enjoyment.  Because in my personal experience, music mixed with pretty, lovely things = mental orgasm equivalent to watching 10 minutes of a Ryan Gosling film in private.  (Any of the ones in which he does not have a receding hairline.  Receding hairlines are totally fine by me just not on my picture-of-virility adonis Ryan Gosling, that’s all I’m saying.  It is my picture-of-virility adonis, not yours; I get to have it the way I want it.)

FYI, the dress designer is Collette Dinnigan.  I lucked upon her on Pinterest recently, as one of her dresses was pinned from the lovely this is glamorous, a blogger who shares my affinity for the Elie Saabs and Valentinos and de la Rentas of the fashion world.  Ok now be prepared; below are pretty much all the dresses Collette Dinnigan has probably ever made in her life, because I went a little overboard with the loving.  But you cannot blame me, dahlinks, all the dresses are mahhhhvelous.  I’m dying to know what you think of them.  The wedding dresses, the cocktail dresses, anything.  Me?  Oh I am obsessed with them in a very unhealthy way.  I want to buy two or three of them, escort them home in a Hummer limo, get all of us drunk on a bottle of Louis Roederer’s Cristal, arrive at my place, burn the Hummer limo to the ground because those Hummer limos are f**king BULLS**T, and then after the car-bonfire go upstairs, and you know just cuddle with all the dresses on the couch proving what a kind, considerate person I am and how I’m not just in it for the sex, and then wait until one of the dresses suggests “threesome?” and then just try on the s**t out of them.  Try on the MFing S**T out of them…

uhh, NSFW pose:

thug life pose:

dat aasss:

:: these ones are just freaking cool ::

:: wedding dress time ENGAGE ::

:: more wedding dresses that make me hot for collette ::

Ok so here’s what I’m wondering… do you agree with me on the Ryan thing or am I alone in this.  Lemme know.  And, WHAT IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK OF THESE FROCKS.  I don’t know if I’d say I love alllll of them like I would my own children, but there’s a good chance that a heaping handful of them are the kind I’d take home to momma.  There’s just this general girly daintyness, with a dose of strength, all rolled up into each one of them.  And I like that.

Happy Friday, buddies!  May the fourth be with you.

xoxo  - Alison

webcomic: Gosling & Booker, via Refinery 29 / dresses: Collette Dinnigan

Label(s): Popular *New*, Ryan Gosling, {Fashion}, {My Wedding}

Love all of this...

22 comments

  1. Sara {Burnett's Boards} on May 4, 2012

    In love with the blue with white birds (does that make me a prude since it’s the least revealing of the shorter ones?) sorry, but I’m attached to my comfy ‘granny panties’ ;-)

    Reply
  2. Meghan on May 4, 2012

    Oh Alison… I die. Those dresses. Like, ALL of those dresses.

    But where’s the Bambino pic? *tear

    Reply
  3. Zoe on May 5, 2012

    So, how do I find one of the dresses shown above?

    Reply
  4. Mollie on May 5, 2012

    Every. Single. Oneathose. Dresses.

    Reply
  5. Catherine on May 5, 2012

    Sometimes, Alison, you do worry me. Just a tiny little bit. Mind, we all thought I was in an exclusive relationship with Hobbs and then I started having an affair with Kate Spade. Now Hobbs and I are having a trial separation while I explore the Spade and dabble with Anthropologie and J Crew on the side. Enough about my shopping habits.

    Love the blue and birds. Love the white with black lace that’s just off the shoulder. Could love the gold/yellow lace, but only if there is a non-see through component to go under the lace.

    I admit my shameful ignorance. I, in fact, have no idea who Ryan Gosling is. (please don’t shoot me, Chloe needs her Mummy. Although, she is a little miffed by the lack of Bam for her viewing pleasure)

    Reply
  6. Bridal Swan on May 5, 2012

    Yeah, lacy dresses are always gorgeous, especially in 2012. I like the very top one. But all of them are great.

    Reply
  7. gigi on May 6, 2012

    OMG. These are the most original and sensual dresses I’ve ever seen. Love em. Also, missing Bam.

    Reply
  8. bridal girl on May 6, 2012

    I can’t even decide which ones I like! There are so many great choices in here. I love all of them. Thanks for these great collection.

    Reply
  9. natalie morrow on May 7, 2012

    OK, each one of these dresses are AMAZING. Love your style, girl!

    Reply
  10. Jay on May 7, 2012

    Great blog!

    Reply
  11. Kristen on May 7, 2012

    I wish I had the lack of boobage to pull of the Diamonte Flowers Gown. Unfortunately, mother nature endowed me with big’uns.

    Reply
  12. Tina @ wedding favors on May 7, 2012

    I love the bridal dresses!

    Reply
  13. Lena on May 8, 2012

    Really, I don’t even know where to start with all those amazing dresses. I kept scrolling and thinking, Nope, that one’s definitely my favori….ooooh, that one! I love that…other one, right there, with the the mesh cap slee….strapless! So I’ll just say that comic did not do Ryan any justice.

    Reply
  14. Savannah-Bellagala on May 8, 2012

    How would I go about finding one of the dresses above?! They are to-die-for!!!

    Reply
  15. I love her dress!!!!Stunning!!! Awww, I love it so much! I love the 3rd dress.

    Reply
  16. I love dress #7 that is shear and sequins, but why do the models have to look so sulky and miserable!! LOL I also love Fantasia-V-Neck-Wedding-Gown!

    Reply
  17. Lisa Capuchino on May 10, 2012

    Sexy, sultry, some demure yet so powerful. What more would a girl want?? OOOO!!! I love them all! ~CBeauty..

    Reply
  18. nyfika on May 10, 2012

    Βeautiful wedding dresses!!! I love the first!!!

    Reply
  19. Marie on May 10, 2012

    Yeah I would save some of those dresses if my house was on fire. I could wait for Ryan to come but last time I needed help he was not around so I think I may just need to take things into my own hands. I am sure he is just out buying me a little something. Oh Ry! Also no, that comic does not do him justice. Like you said, it’s the wardrobe and the lack of muscles.

    Reply
  20. Wedding Photographers on May 26, 2012

    All picture are beautiful. Spatially wedding fashion pictures are very beautiful.

    Reply
  21. Liezl Veiga on May 31, 2012

    I LOVE Ryan Gosling and i love your blog = win win :)

    Reply
  22. Estefy on June 22, 2012

    I’m not engaged, but I want the 6th from the top to be my wedding dress! <3

    Reply

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