GIRL TALK | 19-year-old Miley Cyrus is engaged, while I lost my virginity at 21.

I know, second post in day WHOA.  But I’m keeping this post short and sweet, because I don’t have much relevant experience in the arenas of being 19 years old anymore and getting engaged at an early age.

But what I DO know is she’s getting some crap about it.  But is the “too young for marriage” argument deserved, or misguided?

Here’s my truth: I didn’t get super duper intimate with a guy until I was 21 years of age.  Forget dating.  It took me a long time to curl up to the idea of getting into a sexual and committed relationship with another person.  Therefore the idea of being in a serious relationship that found its beginning when I was at the tender age of 16 is something I personally have no experience in.  So I really can’t speak on the matter.  But I do know that couples who started dating from a young age and got engaged/married at a similarly young age always seem to get crap about it.  “Oh, you’ve never been with another person? don’t you feel like you missed out?”  Or, “how do you know you’ve found the right one if you haven’t been with anyone else?”  I hear that high school sweethearts hear stuff like that a lot.  People don’t seem to have a lot of faith in what from the outside seems to be one of the most adorable, committed and loving gestations of coupledom.  But who knows.

Addendum: I should make something clear — I’m kind of playing Devil’s Advocate in this post.  Because I’m typically on the side of thinking this is a little too young to get married.  But to each his own, right?  … or wrong?

Some background: The two fell in love on the set of The Last Song…

… when Miley was a cherubic little munchkin and Liam was… uhhh… Liam was… older looking than that.

Ok.  All joking aside, I’m really curious about this.  What do you guys think of Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth’s engagement?  Be totally honest, we’re all friends here.  Do you think it’s a bit early, even if they’ve been together for a while?  Or should we leave her to make her own decisions?  I mean, she seems to be really good at that.  Ok that was my last joke.

By the way, here’s her ring:

Pretty, isn’t it?

And here’s another one of the poster’s for that movie they did together…

Ok, let’s talk: what are your feelings/thoughts about the idea of arranging to be married in your teens?  Anyone have any thoughts, or maybe experience with it?

xoxo  - Alison

images: couple via here, her engagement ring via here.

Label(s): {News + Gossip}

Love all of this...

40 comments

  1. Eliza on June 6, 2012

    Well, it’s not for me (I got married a week after my 29th birthday) BUT my parents got married when my mum was 18 and my dad was 19. They had my sister approx 8 months later, and have been married for 43 years this September, so it can work…

    …marriage is bloody hard work whatever age you do it, sometimes I think getting married when you’ve had a full, independent life is in some ways harder than marrying someone and growing together through your early adult life.

    Reply
    • Dani on June 6, 2012

      But can’t you grow together through your early adult life without being married? You just have to be together and committed. And I would hope they don’t need a ring to prove that…because if they do, then they shouldn’t be getting married.

      Reply
      • Rebekah on July 28, 2012

        To that I would wonder what the point of NOT getting married is? If you are going to be that committed then why not get married and make it for keeps. It is supposed to be for keeps.

        Reply
  2. Rogue Bride on June 6, 2012

    Part of me thinks that weddings are for the young. The young, energetic, optimistic, and skinny, to be specific. If my dear sweet fiance had gotten his shit together earlier in our 7 year relationship, I think I would have had a whole lot more fun with planning this wedding. Now I have to put my blossoming career on hold just as it was picking up speed to make this wedding happen, and I’m kinda pissed off about that. I got gender-rolled into sacrificing my work and my business, whereas if he had asked me when I was 23, or 25, I would have had time to have fun with planning this wedding.

    Whether or not Miley’s relationship works, she’ll have amazing memories of her first love, and planning her first (hopefully last, but come on…) wedding. I say go for it. Better than sitting on it for 7 years until you both have LIVES, jobs, and stuff to do that aren’t F-ing centerpieces.

    My wedding is in 4 days. I’m allowed to be grumpy.

    Reply
    • Jessica on June 6, 2012

      haha, I like you! and sooooo relate.

      Reply
    • sarah on June 7, 2012

      congratulations, rogue bride!! you are totally allowed to be grumpy :)

      Reply
  3. Maire on June 6, 2012

    How ironic would it be if they are happily married for everafter while starting out so young when there are countless celebrities of mature age who can hardly manage to stay married for a month?

    Reply
  4. Nicole on June 6, 2012

    This actually hits pretty close to home! I’m 20, and two of my friends from high school just got engaged (separately, not to each other) about two weeks ago and my best friend is about 7 months pregnant. I have been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years, and I still feel like we are nowhere close to ready! My main concern is that, we don’t really know each other outside of school, outside of being students. Things are going to change in a year, and we are going to change. Maybe that’s not relevant to Miley. You could probably argue that she feels a lot older than she is because she’s lived most of her young life in the spotlight, and had to grow up pretty quickly. I wish everyone a happy marriage, but it does seem like she has a lot more life to live before she settles down.

    Reply
  5. Dani on June 6, 2012

    I will join you for a Notebook viewing! I’m overdue too…even though I own it. Seems like I watch more netflicks/tvshows/hulu than the movies I actually liked enough to buy…silly me.

    Anyway, as far as young dating goes, I met my husband when I was fourteen, but we didn’t start dating until we were eighteen and we didn’t get married until twenty five. My husband’s parents met and started dating at fifteen and got married around twenty one/twenty two (little more common back then). So I don’t see a problem with finding the one early and never being with someone else (which, neither of us was, btw), but I just don’t see a reason to marry that young. In a day and age when people move in together and sleep together before marriage without that much of a stigma, I don’t understand why you get hitched that early. Unless you are really truly, wait until marriage to have sex, religious, which I highly doubt Miley is, what is the rush? And I think this is setting a worse example for her young fans.

    Also, are you sure she is engaged? For a while she was wearing a ring on her left ring finger and the tabloids picked it up randomly and started saying she was engaged, when she really wasn’t and had been wearing the ring for a while….yes, I am aware I have a tabloid problem.

    Reply
  6. Anni on June 6, 2012

    This is such an interesting topic to me, because I was engaged young. I was a few weeks away from 20 when we got engaged, we decided on a 2 1/2 year engagement – we’re getting married this June.

    What’s interesting to me is that the only people who get upset about our marriage are the people who don’t know us. Our friends and family are 100% behind us, and certainly expected it (we’ve been together almost 8 years, we’re definitely each others’ only every things.)

    It’s funny, because I didn’t expect to marry young. I believe in (for myself) living together before marriage – and we have, for almost 3 years – and having a solid partnership before getting engaged. We do get strange looks from people we’ve just met, especially because, living in Chicago, most people don’t even think about marriage until they’re at least 26 or so, but it doesn’t bother me at all. I’m confident in our relationship, we’re not only happy and in love but we tackle life head on together. I don’t see it as any sort of ending – we’re excited to travel and have adventures, just with each other.

    Reply
    • Olivia on June 10, 2012

      I agree, I have been engaged for just under a year and at only 20, my partner is slightly older (26) I do think it is very young but we couldnt be happier and the majority of our family have been so supportive. We are in no rush for a wedding, would rather spend all those $$’s travelling the world!

      Reply
  7. Claire on June 6, 2012

    I think it also needs to be added: Miley and Liam are rich. And while we’d like to think that doesn’t play a role…. it’s probably a huge reason why this couple CAN do it.

    Follow through: Realistically they don’t have the same chores that the rest of us have had at that age. I met my husband at 20 and at that time I was still making it through school and living at home. Miley on the other hand, doesn’t go to school owns a home and has herself covered for living expenses. So, they’re daily decisions, conversations, arguments are probably a lot different that ours were at that age. Follow me?

    Their tough decisions are where to buy a house and should we buy or lease the Ferrari. When you have the cash flow on your side you tend to live a little more grown up than others at that age. They already live together and have four animals. Plus, they probably have plenty of hired help to manage the big responsibilities that other couples their age would trip over.

    ALSO, LOVE the title of this post and LOVE that people think it’s an TMI.

    Reply
  8. Gemma on June 6, 2012

    I kind of like a hypocrit about this subject. When I first saw this my immediate reaction was “OMG, they are too young.” but I’ve been with the same guy since I was 17. We fell on love right after high school and have been together since then. We waited until we were both finished college to get married, but I honestly can say that if I hadnt made that decision I would have gotten married at the same age as her. My parents got married at 24 and 20 and my husbands parents were married at 22 and 20. I think it really depends on the people. Young marriage isn’t for everyone, but if you have the right people on your side.

    Reply
  9. Lauren on June 6, 2012

    I have to say that I’m on the side of “it’s too young.” I was engaged at 18, and then all of the sudden realized I had my whole life ahead of me, and I really shouldn’t be tied down for it. This is not speaking sexually of course, it’s just that when you are so young, there is SO MUCH left for you to do, experience, and be. The chances of you growing together are slim (though admittedly possible for some).

    And let’s get real here, we are talking a “Hollywood Marriage” and few of those last. So young and in the spotlight seems to be a recipe for failure.

    Reply
  10. I have to say that I am happy for them. When I was 17 I met my husband and knew after a month of dating that I would never love anyone more than I love him. We knew we were going to get married in the first few months of dating, and even changed life plans because of this.

    We waited about 3 years to get engaged and another year and a half to get married – 9 years later I still feel the same way about him that I always have. He still gives me butterflies, makes me laugh everyday and we have so much fun together.

    I think that when you know, you know. Love doesn’t care about age.

    Reply
  11. Jackie P on June 6, 2012

    I think it really is all relative. Perrrrsoooonnallly, I can’t imagine ever even being in a relationship at 19, let alone being engaged (Alison – I totes feel you on the late-blooming sexytime). I think if you and your mate are at a point in your lives where your day-to-day as a couple isn’t cutting it anymore and you wanna make it legal, no matter what age you are, by all means, don’t let anyone stop you. Love is love is love. Yes, I believe there are certain advantages to being older when you get married – primarily having a stable job, career, home, blah blah blah. But if you and your partner have a plan, and the chaos that often comes being a (non-celebrity) youth is something you are both comfortable with handling while throwing marriage into the mix, I think you’re acting in a very mature way and I think you’ll probably have a long happy marriage.

    Reply
  12. Joanna Roberts on June 6, 2012

    I was married at 19 and divorced at 24. Worse mistake of my life. I was then a single mom with no college education (went back after my divorce and am now working on my Masters), and no experience of life. I didn’t get to travel, or party, or have a cool college experience. I say wait, go experience life, and then get married and have a family. But I guess in the end, we all have choices to make whether good or bad and then have to live with the consequences. I just hope and pray that if she does go through with it that it is someone who will treasure her for life.

    Reply
  13. Koru Kate {Koru Wedding} on June 6, 2012

    I’ve always been sensitive to the issue of marrying too young. My cousin got married at 19 & most people assumed they were expecting a baby (they weren’t). 16 years & 3 kids later, they are one of the strongest couples I know. Does every young marriage last? No, of course not. But neither does every marriage between people in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Regardless of age, I wish anyone getting married they very best!

    Reply
  14. Tula on June 7, 2012

    I think there is a bit of a difference between 19 year old Miley and most 19 year olds. She doesn’t have a worry about money or her career – Liam’s career seems to be taking off…. These are events that usually happen to the rest of us in our late 20′s or 30′s – the time in which the rest of us think getting married is a good/safe decision.

    Reply
  15. Kim on June 7, 2012

    Miley is not your typical 19 year old. She has an established career, home and her finances are in order. Why wouldn’t she consider marriage. Most of us don’t reach that level until our 30s, 40s or if we reach that level at all. Can you really miss what you’ve never had. She may not have been in many relationships but who says she needs too. At 28, I’ve only had 3 serious boyfriends that haven’t made it down the aisle yet so I say let her give it a shot. What’s the worse that can happen, she get it annuled or divorced within 60 days like another celebrity we know. Another thing is that they already live together. There is no reason to “shack up” if you don’t have plans on getting married, it would be pointless because she has enough money that she doesn’t need a roommate to pay half of anything. People aren’t looking at the fact that she has accomplished alot in such a short amount of time but more so on the fact that she’s only 19. Her resume would like look she should be in their mid 30′s and not a 19 year old fresh out of high school or some young dumb college freshman so marriage really is the next thing for her to check off her list of life goals. What would people rather see: her getting married or mugshots/rehab photos?

    Reply
  16. Nicole on June 7, 2012

    I agree with the thoughts that Miley is not your typical 19 year old. I know my life was nothing like hers when I was 19. and I was with my now husband when I was 19 and we knew we were going to get married but we were in college and grad school and were more into that and dating than being married but Miley isn’t going down the college path and they already live together in a house they own so I say go for it! and to the people that say she hasn’t dated enough and she’s settling down – marriage isn’t settling down if you are living the life you dreamed of with the one you love!

    Reply
  17. Marie on June 7, 2012

    Marriage is hard at any age. I think the main thing for getting married so young is that in your 20s you really find out who you are. If you grow apart during that time it can prove to be too much, along with all the other standard challenges of marriage. It can work, some do. Wishing them luck.

    Her ring is beautiful. :)

    Reply
  18. Mindy on June 7, 2012

    To me, it seems too young. I am almost a completely different person at 32 than I was at 19. I’m happy I waited for the right guy and the right time to get married. But my grandmother was married at 19 and they lasted 68 years until my grandfather passed, so who is to say? I think being a celebrity makes any marriage tough, especially when you’re young and still figuring life out. She seems like a mature 19 and has already lived a wild life so maybe she really is ready to settle down? Anyway, he’s super hot. Get you some, Miley.

    Reply
  19. Lena on June 7, 2012

    Talk about a response! Obviously a 19 year old starlet is in a different situation than most 19 year olds–and isn’t going to have the same experiences. Reality is she’s not going to go away to college, she’s not going to move away from Mom and Dad and Hollywood, and she’s not going to start seeing the world–she’s already doing it. If they’re happy, I wish them the best–but I do wonder what divorce rates among the under-20 set look like…

    Reply
  20. Malou on June 9, 2012

    My boyfriend and I got engaged at 19 but waited for 3 years to get married (We’re getting married this october) we both have been with others, so we have something to compare with. and who’s too say that you cant find true love early? I feel blessed that I didn’t had to look for my special one for years! This just give us so much more time together! and if not, we’re still not too old to get married a 2nd time if it doesn’t last…

    Reply
  21. Sapphire Coast Weddings on June 9, 2012

    I knew I found the ‘one’ at 19. Didn’t marry till 23 but I think when you’re an adult you shouldnt be judged on your feelings. I am not so sceptical on the age problem because it’s the celebrity side of it that ensures it will not last long.

    Reply
  22. Maddison on June 10, 2012

    I’m 19 and engaged, and have found it super interesting to hear everyone’s feedback on Miley coz it sort of feels like feedback on my own life in a way. Very weird feeling second hand judgement from the whole world haha. But yeah…I’m getting married in January. I’ve known my fiance since kindergarten, and everyone who knows us is really supportive.

    Essentially, the way I see it is this. Marriage is hard work…whatever age you get married. Often 19 year olds are not mature enough to make the commitment. But no, I don’t think this is always true. I think that any marriage is apt to fail if the two people going into it are not fully committed or don’t fully understand the commitment they are making. I think getting married young requires a lot of careful discussion and very strong commitment (just like at any age). It’s not for everyone, but I don’t think there can be a general rule made saying it’s never okay. Situations can vary so much.

    I wish Miley all the best, and hope that they are getting married for the right reasons and that they have a lifetime of happiness together. =)

    Reply
    • Clare on June 11, 2012

      That’s exactly how I feel Maddison! At 18 (I just turned 19) I also got engaged, after being with my boyfriend for just under a year and a half, we are currently studying at different colleges and so won’t be getting married for three years.

      But we knew we were ready to make that commitment and promise to each other, and that neither of us would change our mind. We were ready, some 19 year olds definitely wouldn’t be. Each person grows up at different rates and some people are ready for marriage at 18, some when they’re 25 or even 30. You can’t label anyone.

      Maddison I hope you have an amazing wedding :)

      Reply
  23. Corinna on June 11, 2012

    I met my husband in Kindergarten and we grew up together so it’s hard for me to even think about having to go through the dating game like so many we’re friends with.

    There’s definitely pros and cons to everything, but if you’re committed and in love, then age doesn’t really matter. Plus both of our parents were married out of high school and are still happily married after 30/40 years of marriage respectively.

    Reply
  24. Audrey on June 11, 2012

    I met my fiance at the age of 16, lost my virginity 6 months later and this December (I’m 24) we are getting married.

    We made a promise to each other in our last year of high school. It was that we wouldn’t move the relationship further until we had graduated from university. This was to, I guess….make it so if anything were to go wrong, we would be independent. I would have something to fall back on, and so would he.

    So even though the common sense, wtf-do-you-think-you-are-doing-girl(!?) side of me is saying 19 is way too young to be making that kind of commitment, you have to think about where these people are in life. They have money, they have support, and they have their own lives (that do not revolve around each other). It just so happens they managed to get to that stage a lot earlier than most of us. Maybe they are ready, who’s to say? All you can hope for is that they are in love, they know what they’re doing, and it works out.

    I could be being way too optimistic in a day and age where marriage doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing that it used to, but there are always exceptions to the rule and me, and so many of us who read this blog, are the exceptions.

    Reply
  25. Danielle on June 12, 2012

    The phrase, “age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” comes to mind in this situation. While she is still a “teen” in our society’s definition of the word, her life experience is far beyond that of an adolescent. And his life seems to align with hers. I agree with a lot of the people above – she isn’t your average teenager. She has experienced a lot of life in her 19 years. I don’t think there should be an age that is “right” to get married at, because everyone is different. I have an aunt and uncle that got married at 18 and 19 years old, they’re now in their late 50′s and still happily married. My grandmother was young when she married my grandpa, and they were married for 66 years before he passed away. My mom and dad didn’t get married until they were 26 years old… When its right, its right, and that decision is up to the couple, not the people critiquing them. I say to them, “go for it!” Pray about it, talk about it a lot, and focus on the marriage, not the wedding (though that is sometimes difficult!).

    Reply
  26. Christina on June 14, 2012

    If they weren’t celebrities, I’d say they are too young. My husband and I met when we were both 16, dated for 11 years, then finally, FINALLY!, got married when we both out of school and had careers established. I think a big reason why a lot of couples wait to get married is because of financial commitments and time constraints. After all, weddings can be expensive, and life together can be, for some, expensive, too! If you don’t have to worry about money, school, chores, living expenses, etc. then I can see a lot of people getting married sooner.

    Personally, I would never have gotten married that young. What’s the rush?? If you love each other and know you’ll be together “forever,” what’s a few more years of just dating? Things change slightly when you get married, so I say enjoy your…err…unmarried life.

    Reply
  27. Jen on June 16, 2012

    I really don’t think age matters much when it comes to marriage. I know many people who married at an older age and lead to divorce. I also know some people that married very young and also lead to divorce. Its the level I maturness and commitment that’s makes these relationships work. Not the number of years they’re been alive.

    I, myself, met my husband when I was 18 years old and he was 20. Two years later we married and had our first child. We’ve been together now for 15 years total and will be renewing our vows this December.

    Congratulations to Miley and Liam! I hope their marriage last longer than a Kardashian marriage!

    Reply
  28. Savannah on June 21, 2012

    I’m all for young love! I started dating my fiance’ my freshman year of high school. He is 2 1/2 years older than I am, and was a Jr at the time we started dating. Now, almost 22 we have been happily engaged for almost 2 years! Dating at such a young age and during such a crazy time in life really shaped and molded our relationship. It’s kind of like, we grew up and changed together as well as eachother. A wise man once said… When ya know, ya know ;)

    Reply
  29. KimberlyW. on June 21, 2012

    Well, I can say for a fact that love has no age limit. This is pretty similar to my fiance and I, actually! He’s in the Air Force and we met when he got stationed at the same base where my good friend from high school was (which is very close to my home town). I broke up with my boyfriend who I dated for quite awhile because I felt like he was holding me back during my first college year. Meeting my now fiance, wasn’t supposed to be serious at all, just a weekend of summer romance, I guess. But, then we did get serious, moved in with each other 6 months later, and he proposed to me this past Christmas (I was 19 then). Now, we’re getting married August 25th… I’m 20, he’s 22. It’s just funny because I never thought about getting married really, I was more into going to school and piecing together a career. I think it’s really true when people say that when you meet “the one” you just know– that’s how it was for me anyway. :)

    Reply
  30. JENM on July 11, 2012

    Love does not have an age limit. My now husband and I started dating when I was 15 and he was 19. (I was more mature than most at this age) We were engaged when I was 16, married when I was 17 still in HS. People, I’m only 26 this was not centuries ago, and next year will be our 10yr anniversary and we have two beautiful boys. Its insane trying to keep a relationship together at times, but its very possible.

    Reply
  31. TNT on November 27, 2012

    So, I realize that this article is a few months old and I also realize I may be talking to almost nobody… BUT I would like to say that it is interesting to see all of these comments and ideas on the age that marriage should happen. I *just* got engaged and my fiancee and I have known each other since our sophomore year of High School and started dating this summer (yeah, short, I know) I am still in college, he is going to be in boot-camp soon. And we are getting a court marriage (in order to make his salary higher so we can afford a big beautiful wedding *hopefully* before he deploys so I can follow him) before he leaves in January. I will barely be 20 and he is 19. No I don’t get mad when people question our motives and I understand that many people think this is way too young. I also know that this guy has captured my heart in ways that most tried for years to do and that I don’t intend on losing out on the fun things in life, I will just have a companion sometimes. The best part about it is the fact that this will be a challenge. We like challenges. And both of us are coming from broken families, Divorce is NOT an option. Age IS just a number sometimes.

    Reply
  32. Ashlee on March 22, 2013

    My thoughts are pretty cynical and can be summed up by this: They’re hollywood, so it doesn’t really matter when they get married be it now or later divorce is practically imminent. Just seems to be part of the Celebrity experience. So GOOD FOR THEM! (I know, I know, I should have just kept my mouth closed).

    Reply
  33. Danielle Fletcher on March 22, 2013

    People (especially women) change dramatically from age 18 to age 25. As in scientifically proven almost completely different people. So… yes, it can work. If his new personality melds with her new personality then that’s pretty damn lucky. Personally? If the government deems you not old enough to buy alcohol… you probably shouldn’t be making a lifetime commitment. But what can you do? I wish them all the best.

    Reply

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