Happy Tuesday afternoon/evening, faces. Here’s me sharing something way too personal with you. Crossing my fingers it’s not totally awkward for everyone involved.
I was sitting in my doctor’s waiting room yesterday, and if it was two hours it felt like two days. I had asked my Mom to come with me. She was off yesterday and this was the kind of appointment you want a loved one around for. Mainly for when you have to walk back out into the waiting room armed with some news, and the only thing that’s different about you is absolutely everything.
If you follow me on Twitter you probably saw me tweeting some lighthearted jokes about what I was doing. That’s how I deal with uncomfortable, scary situations. I try to enjoy myself. What else am I gonna do?
I’ve been debating since yesterday whether or not I should blog about the reason I had to see my gynecologist. I’ve been back and forth between “nobody wants to hear about this” and “this is an important aspect of your life, talk about it” but always back to “no one wants to read about this, Alison. Write something fun and introduce the wedding.” As I write this I’m still unsure of whether or not I should even be sharing it, because I’m all concerned about your reaction. I’m allergic to situations where it’s possible that people might think I’m seeking their attention or pity. I hate the idea of people feeling sorry for me on the blog so I stay away from talking about the really heavy things here. To be honest. But at this point it’s like whatever, because the more I try not to tell you guys about it, the more consuming of my thoughts it becomes. So here goes nothing.
So. The reason I saw my gynecologist yesterday is because they found pre-cancerous cells on my cervix five years ago. Since then my body has been in a constant state of trying to fight them off, though not without help of course. There were the Gardasil shots. And the scrapings. And then there was yesterday, the culmination of a f**kload of appointments I’ve had over the last five years to deal with this situation. And I walked into that appointment the way I’ve been walking around for the last five years, which is with two distinct fears: the possibility that I might have The C Word, and the fact that I might not be able to bear children.
And I’m in tears as I write this because of what is now the best sentence ever uttered to me in all of my *cough-cough* years. ”Alison! Your cervix looks BEAUTIFUL.”
I am flying, you guys. I can’t put into words how worried I’ve been, and how anxious I’ve been about going back for that last check-up. However I suspect that some of you may understand what this feels like, especially since my situation is becoming more and more prevalent among women. So all I’d like to say before I get to today’s beautiful wedding by Vanessa Joy and Rob Adams is: LADIES, I HOPE YOU’RE SEEING YOUR GYNECOLOGIST REGULARLY. And if not, I’m currently trying to kick your ass into doing it. Because these kinds of things don’t start off with symptoms. They have to be discovered on a pap smear. So please, get checked if you haven’t? I have a vested interest in you staying alive so that you can keep reading the The Knotty Bride. Do you understand me? Readers translate to profits. And ok maybe part of it is that I care about you and want you to be healthy.
Aright, MOVING. ON. Apologies to Michelle and Chris for talking about my lady parts for at LEAST several minutes in their feature. Sorry Michelle and Chris! It’s just that I got this “they’re cool” vibe from you guys so I went for it. … Bygones?
Ok listen up, here’s the rundown from that gorgeous girl, Michelle!
My husband Chris and I are not traditional. When planning our wedding, we both agreed to make it a fun and lively experience. We wanted our wedding to stand out from most by doing things different from tradition styles. As a couple we wanted the best of the best while being different, which is why we had Vanessa Joy and her husband Rob Adams bring our wedding day to life through the artistic style of photography and cinematography. Due to their amazing work our day will always be remembered and viewed by family and friends through their fabulous non-traditional pictures/slide show and movie trailer. Chris and I decided to have a pre-view prior to our church ceremony and meet in an intimate setting with just him, myself and our bridal party. Many people may not agree to us doing a “First Look Pre-view” but as a bride I say to other future brides “why follow others’ traditional rules when you can make your own…..it’s your wedding do what you want”.
Our wedding color scheme was plum purple bridal dresses with bright lavender, ivory and yellow crème de la crème flowers. The Groom and Ushers attire was black tuxedos and silver vests….none of that matching the bridesmaids’ dresses…I think that’s tacky. I’m not your typical bride who loves flowers at weddings and so I found it difficult at first to figure out center pieces. However being that I like to be different I came up with the idea of having something that may have some flowers but is not all flowers. I decided to have manzenita trees and crystal trio candle sticks on every other table. The guests at my wedding were amazed at the center pieces and talked about them even long after the wedding. My advice to future brides would be “don’t be afraid to stand out and be different, be creative and allow loved ones around you embrace what you and your fiancée represent”. There are going to be things you want for your wedding that may or may not be available due to your budget. Know your budget prior to planning and use it towards the things that mean the most to you on your day. The most emotional part of my wedding experience was my “In memory “bouquet charm. I had it custom ordered in memory of my grandparents who passed away not long before my engagement. They have been in my life through all the good and the bad with open arms. It was devastating to not have them be a part of my wedding day in person but with that bouquet charm, which had their picture on it; they were there with me in spirit. For all who couldn’t be with us on that day we decided to have a memorial table next to our dais, which had pictures of loved ones who passed and a light candle in their memory. Our wedding was more then we could have ever imagined and we wouldn’t want to change a thing.
^ STRONG evidence in favor of uplighting ^
You guys, Rob did a same day edit for Michelle and Chris’ wedding; check it out below!
Oo, did I mention they made them a hella rad movie poster, too? Because they DID:
Congratulations Michelle and Chris! Your wedding day was absolutely lovely!
Ok so. Couple of questions, if you don’t mind…
1) How darling are Michelle and Chris?!
2) Can you believe I talked about my vagibbitty doodaa in this post? I think the only remaining territories I have yet to explore on the blog are diarrhea and masturbation. After that I think I’ve hit every possible embarassing and/or wholly inappropriate topic out there. Go, that..?
kisses and cuddles and good health to you.
xoxo - Alison
Photography: Vanessa Joy / Cinematography: Rob Adams / Submitted via Two Bright Lights / Wedding gown: Kleinfield / Hair & make up: Visage / Church: St. Clare / Reception hall: Addison Park / Centerpieces: Floral Sentiments / Bridal party flowers: Flowers by Bernard /parents flowers / Bridal party dresses: Hearts for you / Groom and ushers tuxedos: Men’s warehouse / Elite Beats Productions (website in process)