DOES SIZE MATTER? | What’s the *Right* Size? Who Decides? Plus: Rustic Intimate Ceremony, Skulls, Neon Tampons & Frenchie VS Alpaca: Who Is Cuter?

I know it’s a lot.  Me and my titles.  Anyway welcome to your late evening post; chock full of wedding inspiration, clitoral stimulation and inappropriate conversation.  Or, Wednesday.  

First point of business: I lied about the clitoral stimulation, there will be none of that.  I know I’M SORRY.

Second point of business: This shoot Caroline + Jayden Lee of Woodnote Photography sent in?  I guarantee you’ve never seen anything quite like it.  Ab fab, my loves.  Ab. solutely. Fab. ulousiffus.

Third point of business: Honey and I recently dipped into the dog’s college fund to spring for one of those nifty iPads the cool kids are getting these days.  And may I tell you, that the way I treat this thing.. you’d think I’d carried it for nine months and given it life.  It is my infant child, and I am its helicopter mom.  It is my wee behbeh.  So thanks to everyone who recommended getting one of these time-sucks; you guys were so right.  I am obsessed.

However.  We can’t take it anywhere outside the apartment – the whole point of the purchase – because it desperately needs something to wear.  Specifically, something that will protect it when I inevitably drop it seven times per month.  But sadly, ”find an iPad case” is #23 on my list of things to do this month, right above “learn how to french braid my own hair” and “decide if I should hire a surrogate to gestate our babies,” and right after “finally write a blog post that doesn’t include any references to sex or the organs involved in said act” and “plan that wedding we’re having.”  Soooo.  Might you guys have any iPad case suggestions?  I’m not gonna be a picky little whore about the case we choose.  I just wanna find one that’s got the right amount of awesomeness to it.  Important: good protection, and cool looking.  You know, the essentials.  Also, if you happen to have suggestions for cool things to get or download that work well with the iPad, I’m all ears.

NO NEON IPAD CASES.  Almost forgot to say that.  Honey draws the line at neon tampons.  But just so you know; I didn’t ask Kotex to make my period trendy.  They took it upon themselves to do that.

Ok, let’s move into the meat of today’s post.

Which reminds me: we are not talking about schlongs today on the blog.  You dirty little hos.  So once you’ve recovered from the disappointment, read on to discover the type of “size” we are discussing today.  Oh and, ahhem, if you would actually like me to write a legit blog post on the topic of schlong size in the near future to make up for this deceit, then by all means, do let me know.  Because I am very capable of that.  Naturally, I just need a little egging on.

Ok, so here’s what’s up.  When I first imagined my wedding, I imagined it to be like 20 people.  I’m not going to psychoanalyze why I did, I just did.  And then of course other elements came into play, and it grew (both in reality and in terms of what I thought I wanted) from 20, to 120.  And THEN, we spent a lot of time soul searching and assessing and talking and not talking and fighting and completely ignoring the whole thing for a month and then starting to revisit the issue again, freaking out more, talking more and bedroom wrestling (to get our minds off of it) and then even more thinking… and then after all of that, it settled in the middle of those two extremes.  And that’s when I was like… “hmm, have I actually been to any 75 person weddings?  How do they work?  How do I deal with cutting down the guest list?  Who gets to come?  Is this selfish?”  There were a lot of questions swirling.

Fortunately, I’ve never felt alone in this, because one of the most common reader questions TKB receives for the Dear TKB column (aside from the uber-popular in-law and bridesmaid-related questions) concerns the topic of wedding size; more specifically: whether it’s ok to want a wedding that’s on the smaller side, when everyone else involved would like the opposite.  Which they tend to do.

Here’s my answer: do. whatever. the f**k. you want. to do. for chrissakes.  DO NOT LIVE YOUR LIFE FOR OTHER PEOPLE.  I shouldn’t have to repeat myself about this, ladies and gentlemen.  ONLY EXCEPTIONS TO THIS RULE:

1. You should probably entertain the wishes of those people who mean a lot to you, but only a couple of those wishes, and only if they are reasonable/do not compromise you and your partner’s happiness.

2. If the person who wants you to have a larger wedding is footing the entire bill.  But then you should ask yourself, should we even take this offer of a free wedding if it’s not at all what we want/imagine our wedding to be?

Now, I’m curious…  actually wait, sorry–


Sorry about that.  Where were we…

Oh yes, yes.  I was going to ask you what YOU think when it comes to smaller vs. larger weddings.  Do you think it’s important to invite every last person everyone in your family wants to invite?  Or do you think it’s more important to have the wedding you and your partner want (whether or not that means a smaller wedding)?  I can’t wait to hear your answers!!!  I am not being hyperbolic – I am actually looking for a touch of advice, too. :)

So hey guess what?  It just so happens that Caroline + Jayden Lee of Woodnote Photography submitted a shoot recently that totally speaks to this situation/dilemma we’re addressing today.  So perfect!  :)  Read on for the concept that sets the tone for the kind of wedding inspiration you’re about to swallow whole (did that sound selacious? this time it was not the intent):

Kristopher and Penelope chose to have their special day on Penelope’s family alpaca farm.  Having grown up surrounded by the peaceful animals, the space had become very special to her, and had also been the spot that Kris had proposed.  Taking the alpacas as an inspiration, the couple decided to include Peruvian influence in the style of their day.  Rather than having a traditional wedding ceremony, Kristopher + Penelope chose to get married in a court house, and then have an intimate commitment ceremony in front of their closest friends and family.  The ceremony did not have an officiant; instead, the couple shared simple vows that they had written to one other.  For the reception, bright colors paired with rustic elements presented on one long banquet table unified the guests and allowed for one shared celebration.  After dinner, the couple changed into evening attire, and mingled with their guests as they ate cake and petted the lovely alpacas until sunset.  The day was nontraditional, and nothing short of perfect. 

(Bambino McPuppypants had just farted when that picture was taken; that’s why he’s smiling.)

Bonus video: if you have the time, check out this *Behind the Scenes* film of the shoot, which boasts a hefty dose of premium quality alpaca footage.  :)

I can honestly say that I have never seen this many alpacas in my life.  That’s a personal best right there; safe to say for all of us, I presume?

… Excuse me while I go check that off my bucket list.

Ok, so… how was the blog post?  On a scale of 1 to 10, was it deeply scarring?

More seriously:  When it comes to your wedding, what do you prefer: lots and lots of people around to celebrate your day? or a smaller, more intimate affair?  Or some other alternative that I’m too mentally drained to conjure right now?

Looking forward to getting a discussion going.

xoxo!  - Alison

Photography: Caroline + Jayden Lee of Woodnote Photography / Videography: Robert Ingraham / Florist: Bloom Floral and Event Design / Prop Rentals: A La Crate Vintage / Venue: Silver Creek Alpaca Farm / Hair & Makeup: Melody Sopa + Tiffany Arnold / Dresses: Monirose Bespoke Gowns / Graphic Design: Dena Swenson Design / Cake: Cakes by Jennifer / Models: Forest + Elena / Submitted via Two Bright Lights

Label(s): Popular *New*, {Inspiration Shoot}

Love all of this...


  1. Meghan on July 12, 2012

    Oh Alison. I do love you… let me count the ways…. (platonically, not sexually), mainly because I think we were seperated at birth.

    Beautiful shoot, and I have long been an advocate of the “less is more” wedding… as in people. Have those you know and love, and keep it intimate. I do understand if someone else is paying, but it’s important to stay true to what you want, no matter what. It’s YOUR day, after all.

    Oh, and, fart or not – Bam is still my favourite. Is it weird that he’s my desktop background? I lost my pup about two years ago and only Bam’s mug can replace his cuteness in my life :) Bam>Alpaca because you can curl up and snuggle with a Bam. Or a dog, in general, which I like to do. With any dog who is willing (they don’t always love it…and think I’m a freak).

    Well that’s more than enough personal stuff to share…

  2. Amber on July 12, 2012

    As much as my husband and I would have loved to have had a wedding of less than 100 people, the fact that he’s Greek and I have a large family kept getting in the way of that dream. Our invitation list wound up being 215 people, with only 140 that actually attended. In the end, the day was perfect and I don’t think that having more or less people would have changed that!

  3. Jenni on July 12, 2012

    PLEASE write about schlong size! Oh my gosh, it would be awesome.

    We’ve got 74 people, including ourselves! I’ve never been to a wedding that size either, but I think it will be perfect — small enough to just be people we really love, large enough to keep the dance floor going.

    And Bambino is so much cuter than an alpaca — how was that even a question?!?

  4. Nicole on July 12, 2012

    bambino wins!

  5. Loe on July 12, 2012

    we’re going for what we consider to be a small wedding, as not only are we paying for it ourselves, but i don’t see a need to invite those family members you see once in a blue moon. and surprisingly enough, a lot of the family understands- they know that most people don’t throw the massive weddings of back in the day (i think my parents had like 300 people). our guest list is at 100, including us, and our dj and photographer. i think it will be a nice size, and we’ll get the chance to say hello to everyone. :)

  6. La Bella Planners on July 12, 2012

    Wow- the photos are absolutely stunning. Love the casual-country feel couples with the spurts of bright colors from the flowers.

    As a planner, I love to plan weddings and design smaller weddings. I feel like they turn out better in pictures.

    However, to state the obvious, smaller weddings=cutting the guest list and that is where it gets tricky. If you are brave enough, you can do it. It comes down to just inviting family and a few close friends. An easy way to cut your guest list is to not invite coworkers.

    Enough about that. love the blog post, Alison!

  7. Nurse Frugal on July 12, 2012

    Love the pictures, Love this website, love the wedding style!!!!! Great post!

  8. Lindsay on July 12, 2012

    The jean top, why did I never think that!

  9. Lena on July 12, 2012

    1. This shoot is magic, plain and simple.

    But 2, the Frenchie still wins. That sweet, come hither look which obviously he learned from his Mama just puts Bambs over the top.

    And 3, thoughts on wedding size. My mom has several dozen first cousins, so the idea of a small wedding (or even not outrageously large wedding) didn’t really occur to me growing up. I figured everyone invited 100 family members they’d never seen before. And then this magical thing happened. My cousin Lara got married at a venue that could only seat 100. And bam, all of a sudden, a totally new family wedding dynamic. These days, our list is about 115 invitees, so we’ll see what the actual number looks like, but I love feeling like I only need to invite the people I couldn’t do without on the big day.

  10. Kate N. on July 13, 2012

    Flower wreath + chambray shirt + cat + everything = so much love for this wedding.

    I want everyone there. I want to be able to walk down the street and see someone I love dearly but who might not have come to mind for the initial list, and tell them to come to the wedding…but I obviously won’t be able to afford to feed everyone. A pot luck wedding wouldn’t be uncouth in any way, right?

    Also, can I rent an alpaca for my wedding?

  11. caroline + jayden on July 13, 2012

    thanks so much for featuring this shoot! we think smaller is better. unless we’re talking about the bedroom, but we’ll comment on that post whenever you write it … :)


  12. kaity on July 13, 2012

    we tried to keep it relatively small and invited about 75 people. only 60 showed, and it felt a bit smaller than that (since some folks left early on account of being out of towners or really really old).

    and we STILL didn’t get to talk to everyone!

  13. Sara {Burnett's Boards} on July 13, 2012

    brilliant post – and I’m a fan of the less is more. I don’t mean however, spend less, I’d rather totally spoil my guests with lavishness than have a ho-hum type of affair with lots of people.

    Great post – and first time I’ve read the word ‘schlong’ on a bridal blog ;-)

  14. Chloé on July 16, 2012

    Your pictures are so wonderful!

  15. Katie Jayne on July 16, 2012

    Adorable shoot!

  16. Ariana on July 16, 2012

    Our wedding guest list is at 35 and we already know of a couple that can’t come. That is perfect to me. It was easy to just say “immediate family only and a few close friends.” We both have very large extended families and since you can’t invite one without inviting the rest, we just drew the line. So we’re losing a couple of people we’re semi-close with in order to cut out a crap ton of people we’re not close with at all. I can live happily with this. Plus my siblings love to dance so we’ll have a rockin’ dance floor. :)

  17. Lauryn on July 17, 2012

    congratulations for this beautiful shoot!! amazing wedding :X love all about this

  18. Elaine on July 26, 2012

    the lake shoot is just stunning!!! :X:X:X

  19. Jackie P on July 26, 2012

    A little late to the party here, as per usual, but two things I have to say:

    1) PUHLEEEEASSSSE, PURDY PURDY PUHLEASE post something about merits of schlongs on the entire size spectrum. Nothing would make me happier. And, you know, inquiring minds would lurve to hear your thoughts. Just sayin’.

    2) All about the small wedding from a guest perspective. It’s always nice to feel like you are being treated to something special, rather than being part of a herd. You get to interact with, if not talk at length, to *everyone,* which I always like about weddings – meeting & greeting the peeps I don’t know. I’ve been to the verging-on-300pple-money-was-obvs-no-object wedding, and while it was fun, it felt less intimate, warm ‘n’ fuzzy, etc, and I talked to, in the end, the 5 people I already knew, and missed about 2/3 of the awesome things the B & G didn’t really want anyone to miss because everything was big and spread out… BUT I agree that you should do whatever your little heart desires. To be invited to anyone’s wedding makes you a VIP, regardless of how big or small. It just depends on how well you feel you can pull off your vision (or alter it) at a 200- or 300- person scale… We wanted our number to be in the 75 range, primarily because, to stay in NYC proper, it was a sweet spot in terms of budget vs. maximum shindig amazingness, but in the end, we were basically forced to invite 160 and ended up with 100. As parental units gave us the “we’re paying” guilt trip. Would I still have preferred a smaller wedding? You bet (sooo many things I wanted to do that would have been affordable at 75 but were not at 100). And I would have demanded 0 parental unit contributions in order to have really done whatever the eff we wanted. But did it make a difference ultimately in how great my day was? Not really.

  20. antique engagement rings on July 31, 2012

    I love the photos.. they’re really wonderful!

  21. Louise on August 12, 2012

    I had around 80 people to my wedding. For us it was a perfect size as we had everyone from both sides that we wanted there and had enough time in the day to speak to everyone and enjoy it!

  22. Fifi on September 12, 2012

    I’m getting married in my fiancee’s country because it is harder for his family to get visa’s to come here than for mine to pay for the $10 tourist cards to go there. I’m of the mind that I’ll invite everybody and their mother here, see how many people are coming, and then invite an equivalent amount there. Is that ridiculous? Would that work? I think that way, everyone gets the specialness of being invited, but only those who are truly important will be there.

  23. Allen J. on September 27, 2012

    I always enjoy seeing talent like this. Nice job

  24. on March 31, 2013

    Hi! I love your articles! theyre so mad!

  25. on March 31, 2013

    And also, if you are inter­ested to link exchange we are will­ing to trade links. You can con­tact me thru this email: agnes(dot)odusee(at)gmail(dot)com. Good luck and more power. Thanks. (:


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