Clearly I have a lot to talk about.
Today’s letter for our Dear TKB advice column is the first I’ve received of its kind, but the issue the reader is facing is turning out to be a lot more common than I think we as a culture realize. Friends of ours have gone through it. I’ve been through it myself in the past. Lots of taboo around it but there shouldn’t be!
Obvs. the goal with these posts is to have some real conversation about stuff that’s otherwise difficult to talk about, for some. I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts and advice, if you have any you’re willing to offer!
Ok now, since some of my favorite activities include researching things on the internet, royal baby watching, and being afraid of pregnancy/delivering a baby/raising children, I have something quickly to report on, before we move on to our question from a reader.
Kate Middleton emerged for pictures the day after having a baby, and she did it! She successfully pulled off not looking like she just had a baby. Check out video of it happening irl, thanks to starcrush:
You know, sometimes, when it feels like I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders, I like to relax and think about how almost all of the incredibly wealthy families of the world have managed to maintain not only their immense wealths, but also the adoration and unwavering support of the very people they DGAF about. It’s kind of amazing. What do you do with all that money?
I wonder what they talk about. (image via buzzfeed)
I’m being told his name is Prince Princington Wellingsworth Tambling-Goggindoggy the III, no, that’s wrong. Ok I’m being told the name hasn’t been announced yet, so we wait. Update! Dude’s name is “George Alexander Louis”. So, there you go.
Also going to be announced are “further details about the birth process,” which seems hardly invasive. (You guys I hope she fesses up about the size and degree of her tear and doesn’t leave anything out. Also would like to know how many times she pooped, and whether she was permitted to smoke marijuana in the hospital, or if she had to do one HUGE pull beforehand like the rest of the moms who do that, or if she ACTUALLY just ABSORBED all of the pain into her psyche, never to speak of it publicly. I’m thinking 3.)
E! Online reported that the infant King is showing signs of looking just like Mom. Thoughts? lmao
John Stillwell, AP
Chris Jackson, Getty Images
Ok, you guys. I have to talk about women and giving birth for a minute, I’m sorry.
It’s overwhelming how little respect is given the female postpartum body. I consider myself generally pretty informed about stuff a woman is supposed to be informed about, but no one talks about that period of time between having the baby and becoming a mother – you kinda have to search it out yourself. Which I feel is kinda lame, you know? SO MUCH HAPPENS TO THE BODY, MY GOD. It’s like WHOA, if you’re not aware of it going in. The whole thing just makes you feel sad for anyone who has to go through it privately. Like it’s some kind of shameful thing. Ok, rant over. Moving on.
Actually last thing about this, before we move on (lord I’m sorry I’m talking so much) — If you’re a bit curious about what it might be like for the Duchess right now, here’s a quick list from just the facts baby:
1. Postnatal bleeding can last for weeks.
2. You may leave the hospital looking almost as pregnant as you did when you arrived (and your belly won’t fully go down for some time).
3. No matter how productive you were in your past life, things change when you have a newborn.
4. Nursing is not necessarily easy, nor can every woman produce breast milk, so you shouldn’t feel bad if you’re having trouble.
5. Sex may be painful for as long as a year after giving birth.
I get a little carried away, I know, every time something baby-related pops onto my radar. It just bothers me that girls see a certain standard perpetuated in the media and then feel they have to live up to that standard (<==NSFW). But w-evs, I guess.
Today’s question from a reader is about her sexual relationship with her partner, like I mentioned ages ago before I talked forever about nonsense.
Can you guys give her any advice?
My fiance and I have been engaged for 3 years, together 5 total. (I’m taking forever to set aside the time to plan a wedding, if anyone thinks it’s weird we’ve been engaged that long.)
There’s something I know to be true about myself, and that’s that I need to be having more sex. But I don’t know what to do or how to broach it.
I can remember from the very beginning this being a slight issue. We have sex between once and twice a week, with the occasional draught of 2-ish weeks but it hasn’t gone beyond that (yet). It’s extremely enjoyable those one or two times; he knows how to please me, and we’re adventurous, and we’ve developed a great sense of one another’s bodies. But that only makes me want more of it. Is that terrible of me? Am I just wanting too much?
There’s another thing that this all leads into: I’m deathly afraid that once we grow our family (soon) we won’t be doing it AT ALL anymore. That’s what I hear from my friends – sex came to an almost complete halt for a couple of couples (hehe) we know, who had a baby. And it never recovered. :(
I get a little upset sometimes thinking about this, it worries me endlessly because I know how important sex is for me. Any advice from the knotty community? I know I can’t be the only one.
I’m very delicate about it with him, because I know how emasculating it can be to hear your girl wants more sex. But on those occasions when I’ve mentioned how much I love his body and how much I want to bang it with frequency, his response is to say, “this is how I’ve always been honey..I’m sorry..this is me.” So do I need to accept that, and be happy with what I do have?
While you ponder the above, I have some pretty dresses to show you. Or you can just have a look at the pretty dresses and enjoy them, and not comment. I will still love you regardless. High five!
If you’re interested in that peekaboo wedding dress at the top (for which you’d OF COURSE address the nipple situation, via some sort of corset or tank, or you can do a Lady Gaga in that scene from the Telephone video), here’s that priceless beauty and a bunch of it’s less revealing friends, all from the Rivini show.
ON NUDITY: If I’m honest- I love the look of these dresses-that-reveal-the-nipple but I’ve always wondered why. Not *why I like them* (that’s probably because I failed to experiment in college) – but *why they keep popping up in bridal market runway shows* — Here’s what I think it is: I think it’s just because bras are ugly under lace, and lace is uniquely beautiful exclusively when laid directly upon skin. OR it’s because t&a run the world and we’re just living in it. ANYWHO, heads up that I shielded your eyes from woman-nipple in the first photo below, but after that I guess just brace yourself? I imagine most of you are cool with the female anatomy, so I’m not really worried, you just never know how someone’s going to react. And really, the partially nakes dress is too full of romance and enchantment to deliver unto you sans what is some exquisitely delicate over-nipple lace decoration. Plus who am I to shame womenfolk for visible nip? Guys do it everyday. Not shame womenfolk, show their nipples. Ok I just need to shut up at this point.
“Grandmas not going to like that one.” (I think you may be right, Christina.)
get this one fitted right, and it’ll be a dream, on:
this one looks like it does a Spanxy thing in the bodice area, quality stuff if you’re after some slimming:
for the princess in you:
purty dresses courtesy of Rivini