GIRL TALK + SORTA NSFW | I need to talk about our vaginas for a minute…

the-reason-we-struggle-with-insecurity-quote-steve-furtick

I found out about a tumblr site recently; the site is *VERY GRAPHICALLY* devoted to your itty bitty kitty.  Specifically– loving the one you’re with.  

I won’t be going into how I tumbled there, so please go ask the NSA if you absolutely must know.

I went back and forth on whether I should share this site with you, honestly.  I thought, “this might be too much for the blog.”

Mainly I fretted about how you’d react.  ”What if I alienate my readers by bringing attention to this?” I thought.

And I think those concerns were/are valid.  Not a lot of people – well, who read wedding blogs anyway – want to have vaginas shoved in their face, and this post is as in-your-face about vaginas as you can get.  Also, this is a wedding blog like I just mentioned, wtf am I doing.

But then I thought about it some more, and this time not through the “my body is my shame” lens, the perspective that has been part of me, part of my social indoctrination as a girl in the world, from a very early age.  And that’s when I realized-

omfg, it’s vaginas.

It’s literally just a bunch of vaginas.  It’s pictures of honest-to-god, hard-working, well-meaning, probably in large part G-d-fearing if that’s important to you, vaginas — that’s it.  Not pornography vaginas- real vaginas.  Not the most readily available vaginas on the internet, not the single type of vagina our next generation of boys is being raised on and thinking is normal, not the idyllic vaginas that have effectively convinced girls like me to believe that my own naturally occurring vaginal situation is not good enough.  Not those.  This tumblr site is about the real ones.  The everyday ones.  And it’s run by someone whose sole purpose in creating the site was to reassure girls that their vaginas are beautiful – because they are a part of you, and you are beautiful.

So I encourage any woman who’s ever felt even just a little insecure about her front bottom, to go have a look-see (BUT NOT AT WORK, DOY).

Because boys whose parents and schools don’t talk to them about what a normal vagina looks like are learning about sex and female anatomy almost exclusively through online porn.  And I’m pretty sure that’s not a good thing, for girls.  Or boys.  But MOSTLY girls… hence the nothing being done about it.

love n hugs

-Alison

p.s. – you’ll notice a common trend in the pictures if you decide to go to the tumblr site (again, NSFW); most of the girls who submit their pictures are shaved.  Shaving is, of course, hardly a bad thing; among other things it can have a unique impact on feeling during intercourse, I will testify to that.  BUT- the fact that almost all of them are shaven, says a lot, I think.

—–

“For those who stubbornly seek freedom around the world, there can be no more urgent task than to come to understand the mechanisms and practices of indoctrination.  These are easy to perceive in the totalitarian societies, much less so in the propaganda system to which we are subjected and in which all too often we serve as unwilling or unwitting instruments.”  -Noam Chomsky

Label(s): Girl Talk

Love all of this...

9 comments

  1. CB on October 22, 2013

    I came. I saw. That was good enough for me.

    Reply
    • CB on October 22, 2013

      Okay…now that the initial shock of look at a bunch of vaginas has passed, I actually had something to add to this discussion. (Totally doing this at work, but I have my own office so I don’t have to worry about people peering over my cube wondering wtf I’m looking at).

      I honestly think we some times take our vaginas for granted. I never put much thought into mine (other than getting it waxed) until I had to have surgery on my labia. Now whenever I look at it I feel it looks less pretty than it did before. And yes, I did use the word pretty, because I never thought it was pretty until it had been changed. To me, I think one side is slightly disfigured. My husband disagrees, but that’s because I also kept it hidden from him before surgery and after surgery until it had healed.

      Reflecting on that experience, I’m sad that I ever felt I had to hide my vagina at all, from myself or my husband. I know when we decide to have children, that it will go through another change.

      I suppose now I’m looking at it with a new appreciation of what I went through, what I will go through, and I’m certainly not a little girl any more and my vagina has the scars to prove it.

      Reply
    • Alison on October 22, 2013

      Thank you for sharing your story, CB. I think that while it is a specific experience, the details of what you were feeling and thinking are details a gazillion women and girls can identify with. Not to sound patronizing but it’s so f’ing brave of you to share it openly. – Alison

      Reply
  2. Maire on October 22, 2013

    This is marvelous. Also, excellent point about young people relying on porn to educate them about human sexuality, male and female bodies, relationships, etc. I never saw that as a side effect of sex ed being excluded from schools. Your website is about so much more than pretty wedding pictures. It is about challenging people to think, as well as asking people to challenge what they think. You are splendilloquent.

    Reply
    • Alison on October 22, 2013

      Thank you Maire, that means a lot.

      Reply
  3. Meg on October 23, 2013

    I too have to commend you for your post – having had a similar (but not) experience as CB (I had surgery on the inside….but it was through the outside) and hopefully an experience no other woman will ever have (though I’m sure will…sigh) when the doctor made a very rude, uncalled-for and unnecessary comment about the appearance of my nether parts. I have never been so mortified in my life. And that’s saying a lot, considering this was far from my first procedure or surgery. I have never been particularly comfortable with my non-porn-star level stuff, and to have it reiterated by a medical professional really ruined any confidence I had gained up to that point. Without going into the gory details, I was well aware of what she was commenting on (it was a temporary thing, but still totally inappropriate for her to say something), and there was no reason to say anything in the first place, but she did, any therefore managed to ruin any enjoyment I could get out of getting any action from that point on because she made me so self-conscious.

    I think women have a hard enough time living up to the image that men (boys) see when they’re far too young (i.e. porn) of what to expect – the last thing we need is to make each other feel bad about ourselves.

    And no, if anyone reading this is wondering, I have a perfectly normal vagina (other than cancer but that didn’t alter the appearance), and I can say that with confidence after looking at the link that Alison posted. But good grief there’s enough out there to make women insecure about their outside appearance – leave the covered parts alone, for crying out loud!!

    Reply
  4. Kelsey Sunstrum on October 24, 2013

    What a great post! I couldn’t agree more with your points. I also find it interesting that, in many ways, little boys and men are taught and encouraged to embrace their penis, but girls are never taught to be proud of our vaginas or draw any sort of power or confidence from them.

    Also, kudos to you for being brave enough to post this! I definitely understand the fear of alienating readers, but a message like this is too important to not share.

    Reply
  5. Taylor on November 1, 2013

    Wow, wow, wow I am up a little late browsing the net and stumbled into this blog/article. Wow, it has never in my 36 years occurred to be proud of my VJJ but now that I know I definitely will act accordingly, Thanks!

    Reply
  6. Fotograf Piekary Śląskie on October 25, 2014

    ok podoba mi się

    Reply

Leave a comment