The Knotty Bride™ Wedding Blog + Wedding Vendor Guide

So, apologies in advance if this post gets a touch out of hand. How’s your Thursday afternoon going – going well?  I’m also accepting “good!”  - see, no judgment here at TKB.  Yeah, so that was some intense blog post titling, eh, up there?  I’ve always wanted to write “bride lives to tell… [enter life-changing [...]

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I have news.  I now know what an earthquake feels like, since, as many of you know, one just happened along what seems to be the entire eastern seaboard, including parts of Canada.  I’ve always wondered how I’d react in an earthquake situation, and I’m proud to say that I know the answer to that [...]

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Second verse, same as the first.  I have to warn you, yet again, that today’s post got so out of hand I CAN’T EVEN TELL YOU.  I’m afraid even to read it over for spelling and punctuation.  I fear my own rampant oddness will get the best of me, like two parallel universes (universi?) colliding. [...]

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Oh, is it late afternoon already?  HAHAHAHAH, how interesting.  Time flies I guess when you’re mocking celebrities and arranging weddings.  Sigh. Now, let it be known that I desperately wanted to title the tail end of this post “I like big d***s and I cannot lie,” but I thought it might, just might, be NSFW. [...]

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Happy Tuesday afternoon, friends! All I have is this wedding’s cake display on my mind right now, but I’m trying to compose myself so wish me luck. So… hard… to… simma… down… nah… Ok so AS PER USUAL I have a little aside before we get into it.  It’s, umm, kinda unintentionally on a hella [...]

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*i die* Ok, SO!  Happy late Monday afternoon, my darlings. :)  It’s lovely to talk to your fine faces again after this muggy (in these parts) weekend we had.  Hope it wasn’t too icky for you, wherever you’re currently living!  I’m pumped to share the first part of this feature I’ve got for your eyes [...]

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Ok, crazy awesome wedding approaching at warp speed, however before we get into it, I must – MUST – relay a little anecdote from Thursday, if you don’t mind… So, yesterday, while he was perusing the feedback on Rhi’s amazeballs guest post (y’all are so freakin’ supportive of each other!  it’s bonkers!), Honey happened to [...]

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I just applied a snake bite venom removal survival tactic to my keyboard’s face.  This is my life.   Alison spills coffee on her spacebar, Alison calls upon her experience in reality survival show watching, Alison puts lips to spacebar, and sucks.  So I’m sitting here with poppy seeds, what I believe to be a [...]

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oh. my. balls. 

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↑ yup. I accidentally bought unsweetened peanut butter at Whole Foods the other day.  Never again. Never. again.

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Ok, so just so you know, today’s feature makes my heart beat so far out of my chest that it jogs up my sternum and slaps me in the face with my aorta.  (I should note here that my aorta’s a bitch.  She face slaps with an intensity and meaning that cannot be explained without [...]

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Sigh.  Happy late afternoon, lovers…

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As I sit here in the gorgeous afternoon sun, protected of course by window panes because I’m WORKING INDOORS, and tolerating the puffs of wind escaping Bambino’s behind as he slumbers on his day-pillow beneath my desk – puffs which, mind you, are as pungent as they are endless… I have this one thought floating [...]

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Ok, I’m going to put it out there that “a puppy licking the bottom of your foot right where your toes and your rest-of-foot (listen, I’m no podiatrist) meet” is quite possibly the most tickly (listen, I’m no grammatatist) feeling that exists in what I’ve found to be the crazy, limitless world of tickle potential.  [...]

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Can you help me pick up those names I just dropped?  Thanks, I appreciate it. Ok, SO.  It’s late in the afternoon, do you know where your Knotty is?  ;) Alright buckle up, because HERE WE GO…

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Happy lazy afternoon, darlings!  Well, actually, lazy hardly defines today, as I’ve been teaching my inbox a lesson for the entire morning and into the afternoon today so I’m in pretty high spirits at the moment… thank you, Pandora, for THAT.  Aright, let’s get moving – weddings and puppies, here we go… ;) Ok so [...]

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Hi darlings!  Happy afternoon to you!  Ok enough of that let’s get down to business.

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Ok, so today’s wedding is so perfectly pretty and perfect that I threw up a little bit in my mouth IN A GOOD WAY.  It’s the wedding manifestation of a perfectly cooked delicious and ultimately belch-worthy meal in one of those European countries that consider belching a compliment (so I can only imagine throwing up [...]

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RIGHT.  So lemme get this straight.  Notably sane Michelle Money who has suddenly developed concern for others tipped off Ashley that Bentley was a douchebag, Ashley tells Chrisharrison (don’t call him Chris, it’s not his name, Chrisharrison is his name) that someone warned her about Bentley being a douchebag (or as everyone on that show [...]

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So, first off, let me show you what it feels like in the city right now when you’re the kind of person who resists turning on the a/c until it’s ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY because what the heck is up with these electricity bills these days AMIRITE:

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So, it’s Monday afternoon and I think it’s appropriate, first and foremost, to thank those of you who so kindly and perhaps a bit absent-mindedly predicted that I’d be raptured.  That was sweet of you, and I’m glad you think I’m angelic enough to go north instead of south.  To those of you who figured [...]

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SO! It’s Friday afternoonish (at least in nyc), and the facts are in: Pippa *may not be* a strippa, but she does have a badonkadonk (sp?) envied the world over.  ESPECIALLY in the UK.  Oh, how do I know this?  Plastic surgeons in the UK have reported a 60% upswing in the number of clients [...]

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