The Knotty Bride™ Wedding Blog + Wedding Vendor Guide

SO! Good afternoon, darlings!  I hope I’m posting this one late enough; it’s 6:00 PM EST, and I uhhh, well, I think you know what that means… .. Before I tell you what it means, let me just mention real quick that this post is actually about wearing a short dress on your wedding day, [...]

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HAPPY AFTERNIZZLE, DARLINGS! Aright here we go… I believe it was Friday, girls and boys, when we stumbled upon something I believe I will choose never to speak of again on this blog.  Something so hilariously in bad taste, something so phenomenally beyond the pale of what should happen on television, let alone in reality… [...]

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SHARK WEEK!  WOOOooooOOOOOoooOOOO!  Nah, just kidding I couldn’t care less.  Hahaahaah.  Yeah. Ok so here we go… happy Friday afternoon, friendlies!  How goes it?  Is it feelin’ hot hot hot where you are?  Because it’s 101 degrees of caliente here and so IT’S KIND OF A LITTLE INTENSE.  If I had alls-bay, they would probably [...]

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oh. my. balls. 

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Happy late afternoon, lovers!  The bloggista announcement is a couple of paragraphs down in this post, if you wanna rush to it. First… a mini recap of ABC’s The Bachelorette, stay with me, because I know a lot of people were upset with me for following through on a promise I made to myself not to blog [...]

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↑ yup. I accidentally bought unsweetened peanut butter at Whole Foods the other day.  Never again. Never. again.

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Ok, so just so you know, today’s feature makes my heart beat so far out of my chest that it jogs up my sternum and slaps me in the face with my aorta.  (I should note here that my aorta’s a bitch.  She face slaps with an intensity and meaning that cannot be explained without [...]

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Sigh.  Happy late afternoon, lovers…

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Happy Monday afternoon, darlings!  Did you guys enjoy your weekends?  I sure hope so.  For us, this weekend was chock-full of family time, so it was busy busy busy.  My niece and nephew along with their mommy and daddy (my sister/brother-in-law), plus my kick-ass big brother (not to be confused with my beloved even-though-he’s-25-years-old-I-still-wanna-consider-myself-his-other-mother little [...]

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First off, LOL.  I originally wrote “Steamers” instead of “Streamers” in the title.  GLAD I CAUGHT THAT BEFORE PUBLISHING TODAY. Anywho, afternoon, lovelies!  What is it, like 3:30 EST?  Yeah, you’ll get why in a sec.  Ok, so I just gotta tell you that we’ve got relatively amazeballs things happening sooner and later this month, [...]

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As I sit here in the gorgeous afternoon sun, protected of course by window panes because I’m WORKING INDOORS, and tolerating the puffs of wind escaping Bambino’s behind as he slumbers on his day-pillow beneath my desk – puffs which, mind you, are as pungent as they are endless… I have this one thought floating [...]

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Ok, I’m going to put it out there that “a puppy licking the bottom of your foot right where your toes and your rest-of-foot (listen, I’m no podiatrist) meet” is quite possibly the most tickly (listen, I’m no grammatatist) feeling that exists in what I’ve found to be the crazy, limitless world of tickle potential.  [...]

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Can you help me pick up those names I just dropped?  Thanks, I appreciate it. Ok, SO.  It’s late in the afternoon, do you know where your Knotty is?  ;) Alright buckle up, because HERE WE GO…

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Happy lazy afternoon, darlings!  Well, actually, lazy hardly defines today, as I’ve been teaching my inbox a lesson for the entire morning and into the afternoon today so I’m in pretty high spirits at the moment… thank you, Pandora, for THAT.  Aright, let’s get moving – weddings and puppies, here we go… ;) Ok so [...]

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↑ yawn First things first, because I can always rely on my parents to text me things that are equal parts wholly out of context and unintentionally hilarious…

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Ok, so today’s wedding is so perfectly pretty and perfect that I threw up a little bit in my mouth IN A GOOD WAY.  It’s the wedding manifestation of a perfectly cooked delicious and ultimately belch-worthy meal in one of those European countries that consider belching a compliment (so I can only imagine throwing up [...]

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Ok, SO it’s approximately 4:30pm EST and, as I sit here eating half a cinnabun from last week (I really need to go shopping), I’m feeling pretty high-spirited, because I’m quite sure I have some really solid evidence that those supposed Blake Lively nakey photos leaked to the internets were not real.  And I’m basing [...]

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Like WHOA.  You guys, I’m sitting in my chair, with Bambino wanting ups, me ignoring his repeated requests for ups, and Bambino releasing aggressive fart bombs immediately beneath me in retribution.  Why am I unable to enjoy his sweet, adorable overtures?  Because I’m still in awe over what just happened.  And that’s saying A LOT, [...]

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You guys… I’m really starting to think that Ashley might not be over Bentley yet.

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Happy Monday, darlings!  How are you doing?  Have a good weekend?  I hope you did because mine was SUPER WEIRD.  Nothing a few pretty dresses can’t fix though, amirite?  I am, I am right.  I think you know it.  Because it’s AMAZING what pretty dresses can do to perk up a weird day.  Surely I’m [...]

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SO. There’s a shoot that’s about to slap you in the face, amazeballs-inspiration-style, and I’m moderately thrilled to share it with you in a sec. BUT FIRST… an *issue* I’d like to address, head-on. As you know, here at TKB I thrive on talking about all things wedding and style, throwing in a pinch of [...]

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RIGHT.  So lemme get this straight.  Notably sane Michelle Money who has suddenly developed concern for others tipped off Ashley that Bentley was a douchebag, Ashley tells Chrisharrison (don’t call him Chris, it’s not his name, Chrisharrison is his name) that someone warned her about Bentley being a douchebag (or as everyone on that show [...]

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