The Knotty Bride™ Wedding Blog + Wedding Vendor Guide

Ok. If you’ve ever wondered about how marriage and the having of children impact a couple’s sex life — or if you’re there right now and you’re feeling desperate for some real world advice — consider today’s post required reading. I am not kidding around.

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Guys I need to talk about rape for a minute, sorry.  If you don’t want to hear it I honestly won’t mind, I get that many visit here for one part honest talk, four parts pretties and laughter, and I respect that.  It’s just if I don’t cleveland steamer this thing onto the internet’s chest [...]

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Ah, babies. Aren’t they the worst?  Jk, jk, I love babies, I do.  They smell like warm pancakes on a crisp November morning while sitting in a room full of babies. Oo did you hear?  Kate Middleton’s having one.  I heard she’s so excited she can’t stop throwing up.  Every morning. Recently another friend of [...]

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OMFGYOUGUYSTHISWEDDING.  <== no seriously this time. But first, I have a little story for you

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So I turned on the television yesterday, and that Survivor host guy Jeff Probst’s new talk show came on, because talk shows are the new book deal and book deals are the new fake tan (everybody’s got one).  They were coming up on a segment about “open marriage.” I like to call this segment, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH. [...]

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me again.  happy Friday afternoon and hope you’re ready for a .gif parade… Below is what Bambino was doing at the foot of our bed last night.  The baby tiger on the left is our expression while this was going on for seven straight hours.

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Happy late evening, bubbuhbears!  I just called you guys what we call Bambino, AWWWWWW.  I think that means I love you.

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To find that base pic I did a Google image search for the word vagina.  Which by the way I recommend you do not do if you’re at work.  I cannot stress this enough – it is NSFW (not safe for work).  I am dead serious don’t do it.  Don’t you do it noooooo YOU’RE DOING IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT [...]

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Happy Saturday morning, you guys.  Weekend post comin’ atcha FACE.  High kick, woot! But first, a light warning… This post centers around an adult-only topic, so I need you to pull out your Serious Helmet and slide it onto your Noodle whoa whoa whoa WHOA.  …Did that just sound like I was talking about penises, [...]

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Friends, loved ones, enemies, lurkers, pen pals, and guy in my area whose Wi-Fi network is called ‘THAT Uncle,’ I welcome all of you here on this lovely Wednesday afternoonish/eveningish.  Please, steep thy tea, or brew thy coffee, or slap thy Nicorette patch ontoeth thy shoulder… whatever your poison, sit back, sip it/drink it/absorb it [...]

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Hi everyone! A big thanks to Alison for having me back. I’m so excited. In fact, I’m still reeling from the excitement of my last visit. I had no idea that so many of you would relate to my pre-wedding stomach bug and leave such sweet comments. Alison is right about you guys. You’re all [...]

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