The Knotty Bride™ Wedding Blog + Wedding Vendor Guide

Question for you guys: Have you ever worried about losing your ring, or some other highly sentimental piece of jewelry?

Or, worse, have you ever actually LOST the thing?

I don’t know about you guys, but I like to take my engagement ring off quite a bit.  For example, usually when I wash my hands, it comes off.  I like to take it off when I go to bed, as I don’t like the imprint of an engagement ring on my cheek in the morning (not sexy).  And I especially like to take it off whenever applying lotion – which is usually when I’m riding the subway.

Terrible idea {Continue reading…}

Sometimes I’ll wanna complain about something, and then I’ll remember that I write about weddings and sometimes reality tv on a blog whose mascot is my frenchie and I’ll immediately shut up.

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Debating whether to start recapping The Bachelor again.  For old time’s sake.  Lemme know if you want it.

RECAP UPDATE: On a scale of 1 to 10 it’s killing me.  But I’m almost done!  As always I thank you for your patience while I poop the thing out.  

BUT FIRST-

I have to talk about Ryan Gosling’s hair for a minute.

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I am wearing a chambray shirt right now, so my arrogance chose today’s shoot.

Don’t worry- it’s amazing.  It’s made of a very soft, fine denim and the fit is incredible.  Oh and the shoot is neat too.

Just kidding THE SHOOT IS PHENOMENAL. {Continue reading…}

… ski bunny that is!  guys? guys where’d you go…

I feel like before you read this I should warn you that things got a little out of hand in this post.  I do that sometimes- please just go with it.

To start: my jeans appear to be cutting off blood flow to my feet today, so – I think I’ve got this *girl* thing down.   {Continue reading…}

Whoever’s noticed that this is NYE party inspiration, and that it’s Christmas Eve right now – you are right.  But srsly; nobody should still be trying to pull together a holiday party at this hour and from scratch.  Not to mention holding a Christmas party on Christmas Eve is like holding a wedding over Thanksgiving weekend.  You are not an animal.

Aright.  Let’s get serious.  Because I have some lovely + glitzy + tasty inspiration for your New Year’s Eve party celebration thing.  If you’re having one of those.  And if you are, and you live in Colorado, which is where we’ll be on New Year’s Eve – I love your shoes!  You look really nice today.   Oh so I hear you’re having a NYE party, is that right?  I just so happen to be in the area that night, we should talk…  {Continue reading…}

My shoulders are at ear level right now.

Let’s jump right in.

Best video Honey sent me this week, by far:  {Continue reading…}

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but it’s the holiday season.  And everyone knows that the holiday season is made up of three main things besides the thing where you have to sort through the office politics of who gets to take Christmas eve/Christmas day off, and that’s:

1. generous gift-giving,
2. the opportunity to spend time with extended family whether or not you’re interested in that, and
3. soundless intercourse in upstairs childhood bedrooms on the DL.  Some might call this disgusting but it is technically *fetish-adjacent* and not a full-fledged fetish, and therefore within the realm of acceptable human sexual desire.  So you’re safe.

But we’ll focus on #1 for today (sorry, I know #3′s the coolest one, but {Continue reading…}

So.

It’s 7pm and I wasn’t going to write anything else today.  Not beyond the post that went up this morning, but – and if you follow me on Twitter you know this – it got to a point where I couldn’t not do it.  I couldn’t not write something.  Here is all I was going to say the moment I decided to say at least something,

==> This is some patronizing-sounding advice but hug someone you love today.  I hugged Bambino, above.  He never hugs me back but I like to think he would if he could.  Who are you gonna hug?

But then I started watching cable news coverage because I like doing things that shorten my life expectancy.  I’m a lefty, so that’s apparently nine years deducted from my life expectancy.  Also I smoked 63 cigarettes my junior year of college, which doesn’t sound like a lot but then I tell you I {Continue reading…}

Happy Friday, friendlies.  OMG GREAT shoot for you today.  So pumped.  But naturally, we begin with a .gif parade……

In pet news: I’m pretty sure Bambino and I have already got a version of this down:  {Continue reading…}

I love this wedding so much that I’ve added it to my spank bank.  For when I just need to relax with some wedding with nobody around judging me.

You think it’s by accident that I’m a wedding blogger?

Ok so this wedding you’re about to inhale {Continue reading…}

It’s the holiday season, and what does that mean?  Inexplicably, gifts.  Lots of them- like multiple gifts.  But you have to give them, too.. so.  Meh.

Jk.  BEST SEASON OF THE YEAR.  Your argument is invalid.

The catch: you have to *wrap* the gifts.  And if you’re not an expert crafter, or you’re All Guys, you are just totally intimidated by the whole process; especially these days.  Don’t worry, I am too.  Fortunately, there are people who can help you:  {Continue reading…}

Ah, babies.

Aren’t they the worst?  Jk, jk, I love babies, I do.  They smell like warm pancakes on a crisp November morning while sitting in a room full of babies.

Oo did you hear?  Kate Middleton’s having one.  I heard she’s so excited she can’t stop throwing up.  Every morning.

Recently another friend of ours announced she was pregnant – I can’t wait to touch her baby.  I know that sounds weird but I look forward to handling her baby constantly.  So yeah– that makes approximately everyone we know, is pregnant.  Or is pregnant and already has children.

No pressure.

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Whenever the holidays roll around, I have a lot of trouble answering the question “what should I get you?”   {Continue reading…}

Honey let me know something moderately horrifying the other day.

“The most interesting thing happened on my way home from the Cleaners just now” he said, gleefully hopping into the bathroom like a child on Christmas morning.   “I could see you while you were showering.”

“See me? my naked body??”

“Well.. {Continue reading…}

Happy evening, you guys.  ’sup.

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Yeah so I just thought I’d start off this post with some cheery pictures a la up top from the last few days, since we’re about to get into some heavy shit here.   {Continue reading…}

OMFGYOUGUYSTHISWEDDING.  <== no seriously this time.

But first, I have a little story for you {Continue reading…}

Just FYI-

If saving the world ends up being about me having to print out a document using my personal at-home printer, without assistance from others or an unlimited supply of printer paper on which to inexplicably mess up,

apologies ahead of time for your death.

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So I turned on the television yesterday, and that Survivor host guy Jeff Probst’s new talk show came on, because talk shows are the new book deal and book deals are the new fake tan (everybody’s got one).  They were coming up on a segment about “open marriage.”

I like to call this segment, SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH.     {Continue reading…}

Happy Friday, hunnies!

I have to be honest with you; I am at a complete loss for how to start off this post because I’m sitting here waiting to leave for his and hers dermatologist appointments and I’m very on edge.  We’re going together because I have this secret {Continue reading…}

So like, you are totally voting today, right?

Won’t be bugging you about it, just want to say this one thing: even if your voting lines are crazy long, DO NOT HESITATE to stay in line for your turn.  Your employer is required to forgive your absence.  <== yayYUH!

Alrighty.  Great news, you guys– {Continue reading…}