PERSONAL + DEAR TKB: “My first marriage was a sham… I feel guilty.” PLUS: My Issue with HGTV’s House Hunters.

This past week has been a toughie.

I could really go for some Dawson’s Creek repeats right now.  I think Katie and Suri would agree with me.  Actually- serious question: wtf is the hold up on the Dawson’s Creek repeats.  Why can I not yet realize my loftiest dream of watching back-to-back episodes of DC whilst Bambino and I inhale veggie chips on top of my covers alone in the dark?

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YUMMIES + MO’ STYLIN | The Cream Recap, Part 2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Cream.

Happy afternooeeeveningish, friendly faces, and welcome.  To the yummy in your tummy Part 2.

After you’ve scrolled through the whole enchilada below, I’d sure love to hear what you liked!

Now, it doesn’t have to be one thing you liked… it can be, for example, two things.  Even three things – though NOT four things – I’ll allow five things, you’ve got to be f**king kidding me if it’s six things, but I think seven things would make sense.  Eight things.  Nine things and I will take offense.  I could be talked into ten things, however eleven things???  GTFO of my face with that offer.  OMG 12 things would be so hilarious, DO IT I BEG YOU.  If you come at me with 13 things I will hack into your Facebook and set your relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”  14 things?  REALLY?   Don’t you dare say 14 things.  15 things is alright.

Okie dokie, I hope my hostile threats haven’t changed things between us!  I just… I have my things.  Get a little controlling sometimes… anywho!  Let’s get started, shall we?  

ENGAGE PART TWO {Continue reading…}

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EVENT INSPIRATION | Recap #1: The Cream New York… Plus, Update on the Tatadra (Dream House) Hunt.

There are myriad ways to begin your week.

One is to start it all off with the use of myriad, making you a winner at writing.  (Srsly tho, I need to start reading more thesauruses.  ..Thesaurus’?  Wait maybe it’s thesauri?  Crap, does anyone know a synonym for “thesaurus?”)  Another, is to be negotiating the purchase of your Tatadra** only to discover there’s probably mold in all of the walls.  Still another (3) is to sit down, sip a mug of your favorite morning beverage and, eyes peeled and naked with anticipation, begin scrolling through image after image of srsly inspiring eye candy.  (Doesn’t it make more sense for that phrase to mean balls of candied eyes? wow ANYWHOOO.)

Yeah so guess which one Honey and I got?   {Continue reading…}

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VINTAGE WOODLAND WEDDING | Vera Wang Dress, J.Crew Jewels, Generally Amazing. | Duchess and the Rabbit

Second post of the day WHOOO!

You guys.  YOU GUYS.  I am in love with this wedding.  Lisa and Brian’s wedding was a true family affair, and I can’t wait for you to see it/read about it below.  In fact I’d say it’s kind of the dream DIY wedding, if you’re someone who likes working closely with family members for extreme lengths of time in increasingly stressful situations, I mean.  But something tells me this family has no qualms about quality time.  I’m so big on the QT- it’s so f’ing key in our lives.  But so yeah- wanna know what came of all that QT?  Everyone happily chipped in their part in the couple’s  big day, and with stunning results.

For example: her sister handmade their cake AND all the goodies you’ll see on their dessert table.   {Continue reading…}

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PEEKS, LOLS & COOKIE CUPS | Suggested Blogs + Have You Noticed This Odd Trend in Weddings?

It’s Friday.

And a lot of people are going to be asking you if you’re planning on “getting down.”   {Continue reading…}

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GOLDEN THREESOME | The Cream Recap Peek, DIY Gold Leaf Lettering + a Golden Surprise for Readers! + Alison Mocks the Ryan Gosling Coloring Book, Because of Course

(Sorry for the absence midweek, much needed brain-detox needed to happen.  Turns out event preparation and home buying are F**KING EXHAUSTING.)

Aright so that’s right, Friday party people.  I just led off with a threesome reference.  And I’m not f**kin around. …aside from the fact that the post has little to do with three people having sex.  Actually, interesting fact: reading this blog post is going to be waaaaay more rewarding and much less physically demanding, as compared to mushing three bodies together and hoping to be the person with the smallest workload.  So what I’m saying is the overall experience of this blog post is much more likely than a threesome to live up to the hype you’ve dreamed up in your head about it.

We should start over.  Let’s start over.    {Continue reading…}

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The Knotty Bride @ The Cream Tonight | 2 Ways to Recognize Me…

If you’re wondering what I’ve been up to…   {Continue reading…}

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The Cream Event New York + BIG ANNOUNCEMENT…

The Cream is happening right here in my neck of the woods, right where there are no woods, or, New York City.  So that idiom doesn’t apply.  But WHATEVER you are coming to this event, right?

Here’s their site to perrrruuuuuse.  As if this requires convincing.  Oh and surprise = I’mma have a table.  So I wanna meet ya FACES, and you, mine.  Warning: I’m just as effusive and weird as you think I am.  However, I’m shy at the outset.  So I seriously welcome butt slaps to ease me into a conversation.  Please though, just not too hard, the butt slaps.  Here- think “congratulations, female teammate!” butt slap intensity, and NOT “what was our safe word again!?!?!” level butt slap intensity.  If I scream and then karate chop you in the shoulder, you’ll know you’ve gone too far.

Aright, so buy your tickets here, to meet the cream of the crop in weddings… but HURRY UP, I’m not trying to push you I’m literally telling you that they’re almost sold out.  And FYI: if you miss this event, you will live to regret it.  I won’t hunt you down or anything, you’ll just one day realize that you didn’t get to party with everyone you respect in weddings (not including me, I curse and wear Bar Mitzvah t-shirts to work every day; I am not to be respected).

Come party with us!  It’s too cheap to miss!

Did I mention The Knotty Bride will have a table?  Oh, I did?  Oh right.  Anyway at least come say hello to me.  And be sure to let me know if you’re going, so I can look out for you.  yayYUH!

xoxo, Alison

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REAL BOUDOIR + TIPS + M’PUPPY | Would you shoot a boudoir session in the middle of THIS PLACE? | Chelsea Maras Photography

Hey guys!  Happy Thursday afternoon to your entire collective face.  Ok so in this post we’ve got three things:

  • a boudoir shoot
  • tips for rocking it right
  • my puppy, Bambino Wigglestein McPuppypants, III, Esquire

I included my puppy because you guys like me to include pictures of my puppy, but also because: {Continue reading…}

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GIRL TALK + DEAR TKB | How Fear Keeps You From Having the Relationship You Deserve. (We Explore, How the Fantasy of ‘Real Love’ is Hurting Modern Relationships)

Sometimes, we can start to feel a little lost.

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DIY + PERSONAL (BABY) | Evidence That I, Alison, Start All the Trends + A Gorgeous DIY Headpiece by Renee!

Happy Thursday afternoon, human beings!  This post is a little different today.  Mostly different in terms of it having a baby picture of me in it.  So not “different cool;” more like “different weird,” and “different completely off-topic.”  So umm yeah.  That.  But there is a purpose!

Fortunately, the cooler news is that I have a brand new DIY for your face’s eyes from the talented Renee Hong again, and it’s just as awesome as ever.  She has a way of making me thankful that there are people who work hard to pursue careers that actually make them happy.  Is that something you’re doing?  I’d love to hear more stories of dream-pursuit, if you’ve got ‘em.  I get off on this kind of thing.  Ok, now let’s get this baby nonsense out of the way…

I found this picture of me on a visit home recently.  It’s from when I was just a sweet whittle behbehkins, with little to no signs of what is now a crippling tendency towards perfectionism.  As you can see quite clearly, here:   {Continue reading…}

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REAL WEDDING [CRASHER!] + An Amazeballs Day-of-the-Wedding Music Video | One Tree Photography

Ahhhh, the Kristen Stewart Twilight cheating scandal.  What a hugely devastating situation-in-no-way-to-us-personally.  Right, children of Earth?  Shame; Hollywood relationships usually work out so much better.

Well anyway, I think we could all agree we’ve learned one pretty big lesson out of all this.  And that is that Rob’s last name is actually spelled Pattinson – not “Patterson,” as I had previously thought.

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GIRL TALK + FASHION: Are you over the fact that Kristen Stewart cheated on her boyfriend? Great; let’s talk about wedding fashion… wait, unless you’re not over it yet.

Happy weekday, everybody.  Things going well?  Yeah?  Have you gotten around to scheduling your annual physical yet? How about brushing; you brushing?  Remember; not too hard, not too soft.  And underwear – you’re wearing some, right?  Ok I trust you.   {Continue reading…}

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50 SHADES OF GREY: A RECAP | “Not that I am against descriptive explicit sex in a book… but for God’s sake.”

To find that base pic I did a Google image search for the word vagina.  Which by the way I recommend you do not do if you’re at work.  I cannot stress this enough – it is NSFW (not safe for work).  I am dead serious don’t do it.  Don’t you do it noooooo YOU’RE DOING IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

>:(

Aright ANYWAY people, let’s see here.  Where’s a good spot to start this story.  Oh right of course, the beginning’s probably a good place.

So you remember when I tweeted that I’ma take a pass on reading E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey?  (And if you don’t use twitter, well remember just now when you found out I won’t be reading 50 Shades of Grey?)

Well I remember.  Because my Twitter blew up with more like-minded responses than that time I tweeted I won’t be eating my placenta as a milkshake.   {Continue reading…}

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[DIYS FOR THE DISCERNING PROCRASTINATOR] You have my permission to wait until the last minute to do this. | By DIY Bloggista Renee

Oh hey you guys, Alison here.  Happy Thursday afternoon :)  So how’s it hangin’? (<== see what I did there)

I know everybody’s thinking it, and yes, there was probably a better-suited song lyric somewhere out there for that intro picture, but screw it.  We’re here now, and there’s no need to reminisce about what was, and what could have been.

Onwards!  One of TKB’s fabulous and fresh-faced DIY contributors, Renee Hong, is back… so cover your eyes if you’re allergic to awesome.  She’s really MacGyver’ing it up today, sharing a brand new DIY that even the kind of person who, if trying out for ABC’s The Bachelor, would answer *Most DIY projects* on Question 4 of the casting questionnaire, “How would you describe your deepest fear (so that we can put you on a date engaged in it under the scrutinizing eye of the public)?”  So there’s that.

Oh, hey Bam I didn’t see you there.   {Continue reading…}

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DIY BACKYARD WEDDING + Ryan Gosling Wedding Music Video????!!!!!!1111 | Plus: Bambino, & What You *Must* Do the Morning of Your Wedding…

Oh hey look it’s Monday afternoon.  yayYUH.  Who’s excited, EVERYBODY?  No? … wait, is anybody excited?  Oh c’mon you guys, Monday isn’t that bad.

… aright I’m lying right to your face.  Mondays are no Saturdays, that’s for sure.  There’s obviously no fooling you.  But hopefully things’ll get better once you’ve gotten a load of this post.  I have a very good feeling about it, actually.

Now, here’s the thing.   {Continue reading…}

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DOES SIZE MATTER? | What’s the *Right* Size? Who Decides? Plus: Rustic Intimate Ceremony, Skulls, Neon Tampons & Frenchie VS Alpaca: Who Is Cuter?

I know it’s a lot.  Me and my titles.  Anyway welcome to your late evening post; chock full of wedding inspiration, clitoral stimulation and inappropriate conversation.  Or, Wednesday.   {Continue reading…}

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GET THE LOOK: 2 WAYS | One’s with a Dress, the Other’s in the Flesh. Also, my puppy stops by. | Jennifer Bagwell

Second post of the day, puhPOW!  Ok, so you know that inescapable desire lots of us peoplefolk have (myself, included) to look not only our best, but also spectacularly unique, if ohhh I dunnooo… maybe, say, we’re going to be spending 6-10 hours in the vicinity of a photographer whose only mission is to get great images of *the face and body* on one of the biggest, most important days of our lives?  Well, if you ask me, whether it’s on your wedding day, or at your engagement shoot, or wherever – it’s not such a bad thing to want to look amazeballs in every way.  … of course, I’m already getting ahead of myself.  So let’s just get on with it, shall we?  Great.

You all know Bambino.    {Continue reading…}

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SPONSOR SPOTLIGHT | Whimsical Prints: Affordable + Fast Invitations & Stationery

Happy Friday, loves!  This here’s your first post out of two for the day (crazy, I know)… and it regards something that I think might be very useful to a whole lot of brides and grooms out there.  [SPOILER ALERT/FYI: In post #2 today, I'll be featuring two of my new favorite things in a brand new column... so stay tuned, y'know, if you like becoming obsessed with amazing things that are cool, or whatevs.]

Here’s the deal… if you’re anything like me, when you think of wedding stationery – you know: the invitations, save the date cards, rsvp cards, thank you notes, table numbers, magnets, programs, etc. – you probably think {Continue reading…}

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OMG LOVE | DIY Personalized Wooden Ring Bearer Box with a Vintage Finish! | By DIY Bloggista Renee

Happy Tuesday, sweet babies!  How goes it?  I’m pretty excited about today, {Continue reading…}

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THIS JUST IN: Most Women Are Still Lying to Men. About Everything From Interest to Orgasms. But Why?

Happy Saturday morning, you guys.  Weekend post comin’ atcha FACE.  High kick, woot!

But first, a light warning…

This post centers around an adult-only topic, so I need you to pull out your Serious Helmet and slide it onto your Noodle whoa whoa whoa WHOA.  …Did that just sound like I was talking about penises, or did that just sound like I was talking about penises.  Wait a second, is it ‘penises?’  Seems weird but I’m coming off of 5 hours sleep— penes, maybe?  Peonies.  Okay……. you know what, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.

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GIVEAWAY | Hey Girl… Enter To Win 1 of 2 Huge Bundles of Striped Paper Straws! | Plus, Gosling vs Puppy.

*This giveaway is now closed. (Cheer up silly, there will be more!)*

Happy Friday, lovers!  Hello and welcome to your double giveaway. :)   {Continue reading…}

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