GIRL TALK: I can’t wait to have a baby/potentially lose everything I hold dear aside from that baby.

Ah, babies.

Aren’t they the worst?  Jk, jk, I love babies, I do.  They smell like warm pancakes on a crisp November morning while sitting in a room full of babies.

Oo did you hear?  Kate Middleton’s having one.  I heard she’s so excited she can’t stop throwing up.  Every morning.

Recently another friend of ours announced she was pregnant – I can’t wait to touch her baby.  I know that sounds weird but I look forward to handling her baby constantly.  So yeah– that makes approximately everyone we know, is pregnant.  Or is pregnant and already has children.

No pressure.

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GIRL TALK: The Single Most Essential Behavior to a Lasting Relationship. Do You Do It? PLUS: A DIY Rustic Vintage Teacup Wedding by Honey Honey, & LOL News Fit to Blog.

OMFGYOUGUYSTHISWEDDING.  <== no seriously this time.

But first, I have a little story for you {Continue reading…}

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Hurricane Update…

Thank you to everyone who has been asking about our status.  We are ok, and deeply appreciate your concern.  Currently we know of extensive damage to homes of friends and relatives in the greater NY area, HOWEVER everyone is alive.  Crazy writing a sentence like that.

If you find that you’d like to help, you can do so by donating to the Red Cross.

Thank you, much love to all of you.  Hope all of you are safe and sound today.

xoxo  - Alison

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The Knotty Bride is Hiring, Bitchez! Also: My Top 10 Favorite Baby Animal Boops, Because Why Not.

>> This position has been filled; thank you to all those who applied! <<

I’m not literally *hiring bitches*, I’m… whatevs, you understand.  ANYWHO, SO…

I’m trying to cut back on my use of exclamation points (current use level: through the roof).  Let’s see how far I can make it.

Happy afternoon/evening, friendlies! DAMNIT.  Anyway you may have noticed that I’ve not been your typical Alison lately.  Meaning, I haven’t been tweeting sunrise to sunset and my blogging pace has gone from a deliberate gallop, to that thing at track meets where you walk really fast and then somehow medal, despite having just walked in a race.  What is that called- ‘fastwalking?’  Racewalking?*  Who cares- the good news is I finally get to explain to you what is really going on.

{*please, no racewalking letters.}

See that lower left image up there, with the beams – {Continue reading…}

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The Cream Event New York + BIG ANNOUNCEMENT…

The Cream is happening right here in my neck of the woods, right where there are no woods, or, New York City.  So that idiom doesn’t apply.  But WHATEVER you are coming to this event, right?

Here’s their site to perrrruuuuuse.  As if this requires convincing.  Oh and surprise = I’mma have a table.  So I wanna meet ya FACES, and you, mine.  Warning: I’m just as effusive and weird as you think I am.  However, I’m shy at the outset.  So I seriously welcome butt slaps to ease me into a conversation.  Please though, just not too hard, the butt slaps.  Here- think “congratulations, female teammate!” butt slap intensity, and NOT “what was our safe word again!?!?!” level butt slap intensity.  If I scream and then karate chop you in the shoulder, you’ll know you’ve gone too far.

Aright, so buy your tickets here, to meet the cream of the crop in weddings… but HURRY UP, I’m not trying to push you I’m literally telling you that they’re almost sold out.  And FYI: if you miss this event, you will live to regret it.  I won’t hunt you down or anything, you’ll just one day realize that you didn’t get to party with everyone you respect in weddings (not including me, I curse and wear Bar Mitzvah t-shirts to work every day; I am not to be respected).

Come party with us!  It’s too cheap to miss!

Did I mention The Knotty Bride will have a table?  Oh, I did?  Oh right.  Anyway at least come say hello to me.  And be sure to let me know if you’re going, so I can look out for you.  yayYUH!

xoxo, Alison

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DEAR TKB + PUPPIES, GOSSIP ‘n’ POLE DANCING FOR SPORT | Miss M: “My maid of honor is making my engagement experience terrible.”

Bambino has a lot of ‘Rose from Titanic laying seductively in the nude while being painted by her love interest‘ moments, during the day.

So much so, that we’ve decided to give in to what is clearly an innate talent and take his career in a new direction.  I didn’t tell you guys this, but he’s been looking for work ever since I fired him as my assistant a while back, because he was spending more time acting like he was being productive when I would walk by his cubicle, than actually doing any work.  It was like, do you work for The Knotty Bride, or do you work for the people who created the Words with Friends app? because you’re on that iphone every time I look over at your desk.

It was enough.

So, since {Continue reading…}

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PERSONAL POST | I’ve been avoiding thinking about my wedding. Plus, my personal wedding dress inspiration file.

Happy Thursday, you guys.  This is happening, I’m blogging this.  I can’t help myself.

Very recently, I’ve been avoiding thinking about my wedding.

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PERSONAL POST | My little big life announcement…

Hey everybody, happy number two post of Saturday, March 3rd!  Ok I’m crazy excited and don’t exactly know what to do with myself, and therefore I don’t know what to do with this post.  The gist is, 2012 is shaping up to be one of the most intense, exciting, neurotic, rewarding, busy, bringing-out-of-all-insecurities-known-and-yet-to-be-happened-upon-at-inopportune-times, fun, exhausting and joyful years of my life, for many wonderful reasons related to work and play, but the most important one being this next one:

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PERSONAL POST | This week I’m finally sharing the biggest announcement of my little life. And I’m freaking out.

Ok, SO.  It’s what–almost 11pm EST? and hey check me out, cuz I’m BLOGGIN’.  I’ve spent much of the evening trying to wrap up ye olde latest recap of The Bachelor, so it took me a little extra time to get up a normal post today.  Sorry, hope you don’t mind.  Thanks for being so patient, regardless.

Ok here we go.  Something is about to really get underway in my little world, and then kinda sorta potentially blow it the eff up and out.  And I’ve been sitting on it, almost denying its existence, for what feels like forever.  Which is stupid, but I’ll explain why I think that is, shortly.

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“THE FIRST FOUR WORDS DESCRIBE YOU” + REAL TALK | I have discovered the wedding trend of my ironic, hipster dreams. Also, Kim Kardashian is my hero?

Oh hello there, everyone.  Happiest of afternoons to your faces!  I hope your day is going pleasantly… is this something I can safely assume?  Do you mind if I just go ahead and assume it?  Great.  Ok, here comes me talking…

I’ve got something very serious to talk about today, and it’s about being true to myself, as well as finally putting something to rest.

But FIRST, I saw this on the Today Show this morning and wanted to share it with you.  Look at the smiley face built out of words below.  The first four words you notice are supposed to be descriptive of you and your personality.  Ok, GO:

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