PARTY + GLITTER = FUN | DIY Party Favor + Place Card + Necklace… In One! Plus: A Note About ABC’s ‘The Bachelorette,’ Which Premiered Last Night. Plus Bambino.

At the risk of sounding famous (because I’m not) I once hung out in an airport with Dave Matthews.  He approached me.

Let me set the stage: I’m de-boarding a plane.  The face I see when I’m having sex with my college boyfriend is walking towards me.  Initially the beauty of this moment is lost on me – I start searching for the pretty girl he’s looking at just over my shoulder.  I notice only my friends are behind me, no offense.  He stops a foot in front of me.. reaches out his hand, and opens his mouth.  It speaks.  The syllables are vaguely familiar…

“Alison?”

My mom had noticed him seated at my gate — she’d remembered his likeness from the area of ceiling over my bed.  He must be someone special.

Summoning the superhuman motherstrength that comes out in situations where your child could possibly be elated for a few seconds because of something you did, she very casually strikes up a conversation with Dave Matthews, nbd.  “Your biggest fan is getting off that plane in a minute – she even has a poster of you over her bed..”  ..is how I imagine it went.  She says it didn’t go that way but I know what she’s like.

He ends up talking to me for 20 minutes.  And from the moment he says “Alison?” to the end where he says “nice meeting you Alison, goodbye” I literally did not speak one word and he was asking me questions.  Too in awe (or I was involuntarily c**ming and had to really really focus (ladies you know how it is!)  Anywho.  What I did offer him was a few breathy grunts, and a highly alert look of shock on my face for the duration (like what happens when you see a too large penis in front of you and you start freaking out because, uh oh, that’s not going to fit in my vagina.  But then you “feel bad” and have sex with him anyway and it’s amazing, and you get engaged).  I went that mute.

I was more speechless than that you guys, after last night’s Bachelorette premiere.

The recap of which is coming up after this lovely DIY project Kindred made for you guys.  High kicks, woot!

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ON KIDS AT WEDDINGS: I Went to a Wedding That Got Ruined by a Baby. Plus: DIY Monogram Secret Message Puzzle by Renee!

Happy Monday, lovers.  Today I have a story I’ve been meaning to share with you.   {Continue reading…}

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SUCCULENT DIY + MR ROGERS | Modern Golden Succulent Vases by Renee + My Shameful Sunday Night.

You guys, I watched the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale Sunday night and OMG, I cannot.  OMFG what was that.  Did you watch it (admit it so we can talk!)?  I didn’t know if I was supposed to be judging a pageant or jerking off to some new type of highly satisfying porn.  Is Women Annoyingly Yelling a genre of pornography?  If it isn’t then I have NFI what I ate my dinner to between 10 and 11pm.  I really think it was pornography because I was super into it while I was watching it but now that it’s over I feel ashamed/like I want to take it all back.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.

Let’s shift gears and leave that back there, never to speak of it again as long as we live.  The following video went viral recently and if my heart were a caterpillar, this video reached inside of my chest tore out my still-beating heart and allowed it to blossom into a highly emotional butterfly, killing me.  So now my heart is a butterfly with PMS, WATCH OUT.   {Continue reading…}

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