Ahhhh, the Kristen Stewart Twilight cheating scandal. What a hugely devastating situation-in-no-way-to-us-personally. Right, children of Earth? Shame; Hollywood relationships usually work out so much better.
Well anyway, I think we could all agree we’ve learned one pretty big lesson out of all this. And that is that Rob’s last name is actually spelled Pattinson – not “Patterson,” as I had previously thought.