GIRL TALK | The #1 Pair of Underwear for Girls’ Butts Is… & Coolest Photo Shoot Prop of the Month, by Anna Pociask

me again.  happy Friday afternoon and hope you’re ready for a .gif parade…

Below is what Bambino was doing at the foot of our bed last night.  The baby tiger on the left is our expression while this was going on for seven straight hours.

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YUMMIES + MO’ STYLIN | The Cream Recap, Part 2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Cream.

Happy afternooeeeveningish, friendly faces, and welcome.  To the yummy in your tummy Part 2.

After you’ve scrolled through the whole enchilada below, I’d sure love to hear what you liked!

Now, it doesn’t have to be one thing you liked… it can be, for example, two things.  Even three things – though NOT four things – I’ll allow five things, you’ve got to be f**king kidding me if it’s six things, but I think seven things would make sense.  Eight things.  Nine things and I will take offense.  I could be talked into ten things, however eleven things???  GTFO of my face with that offer.  OMG 12 things would be so hilarious, DO IT I BEG YOU.  If you come at me with 13 things I will hack into your Facebook and set your relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”  14 things?  REALLY?   Don’t you dare say 14 things.  15 things is alright.

Okie dokie, I hope my hostile threats haven’t changed things between us!  I just… I have my things.  Get a little controlling sometimes… anywho!  Let’s get started, shall we?  

ENGAGE PART TWO {Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB + PUPPIES, GOSSIP ‘n’ POLE DANCING FOR SPORT | Miss M: “My maid of honor is making my engagement experience terrible.”

Bambino has a lot of ‘Rose from Titanic laying seductively in the nude while being painted by her love interest‘ moments, during the day.

So much so, that we’ve decided to give in to what is clearly an innate talent and take his career in a new direction.  I didn’t tell you guys this, but he’s been looking for work ever since I fired him as my assistant a while back, because he was spending more time acting like he was being productive when I would walk by his cubicle, than actually doing any work.  It was like, do you work for The Knotty Bride, or do you work for the people who created the Words with Friends app? because you’re on that iphone every time I look over at your desk.

It was enough.

So, since {Continue reading…}

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“ALL YOUR PUPPIES ARE BELONG TO US” | The post I’ve been wanting to write for a long time. Also, LOLs. Also also, try not to laugh. [I enjoy HOLIDAY MODE, you guys.]

This is happening.

Hello, friends.  I want to start by saying this is a long, deeply personal post.  For your face.  And while I like the LOLs at the end of it a lot, it’s the story that’s the point.  Ok, here we go.  We’re gonna start out light.  Ease into it.

Ok, SO listen.  I think there are still some people out there who don’t think I have the berries, OR the balls to make the lead image on TKB a puppyface.  Like, solely face, directly inside of the face.  But as you can see I just wrote the word ‘balls’ on a wedding blog so this whole “I bet she doesn’t have the balls” thing should be a non-issue.  Also, I feel like I’ve done this before.  But just in case the remaining few who don’t believe in my utter strength to be this weird on paper are indeed reading today, well there it is.  And for everyone else who sees the giant puppy face and thinks, “business as usual on TKB today,” well see?  I am who you think I am.

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Funny! + SERIOUS. | “Cat Block” + “A Love Story” captured by Super Mega Action Plus | Also, this is roughly 4% wedding-related. Also also, I just have to preface this blog post by saying that I’m not on drugs. I’m just the necessary amount of ‘weird’ it takes to write like this.

Hey guys it’s me.

Not Ryan Gosling; Alison.  Sometimes I write posts that are so outlandishly outlandish, that the only thing I feel can pull it together, give it at least the facade of relevance and legitimacy… is Ryan’s punim.  I think it’s doing a great job of it.  A really great, sexy job.

Now about the title.  It’s like a weird amount of words, right?  Sorry; things get that way sometimes, and I just don’t like to fight it.  Anyway, nice to see your gorgeous/handsome/adorable-in-a-completely-nonsexual-way-if-you’re-under-18 faces again, on this Wednesday evening.   {Continue reading…}

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