‘THE BACHELOR’ RECAP | Season 18, Episode 2 | Naked Photo Shoot For a Good Cause, Drunk Victoria & The Hymen Maneuver.

It’s Saturday.  Here, finally, is your Episode 2 recap.

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The show starts with previews of the show.  EVERYTHING is going to happen.  Yet nothing at all.  I’m ashamed at how excited I am for such manufactured nothingness to unravel.

Flash to Dog Lover’s dog, Molly, who is swimming in the pool.  Molly couldn’t swim before The Bachelor but this pool is filled with the salt of 27 women’s tears so she’s practically floating.  It’s really good to see that at least one of the girls is growing from this experience.   {Continue reading…}

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‘THE BACHELOR’ RECAP | Season 18 + Episode 1: You Guys, I Don’t Juan To Watch This Show Anymore…

I haven’t showered in almost three days and if I had an office job this would be the point where I decide I’m going to sprinkle baby powder on my scalp tomorrow morning to cover up the grease.  I am a disgusting manifestation of a human being.

In comparison, these girls are immaculate.  They look like they shower every day.

bachelor juan pablo season 18 cast shot

Somehow, however, this show still manages to make me feel really good about myself.

Welcome To Your Long Overdue Bachelor Recap

I have to start by saying,  {Continue reading…}

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BACHELOR RECAP EPISODE 5: “He’s Just Not That Into Love.” | Have You Ever Asked Yourself… WWDGD?

Someone needs to go and tell these women to start emoting on this show.  I feel like all I see are poker faces.

{Continue reading…}

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Oh hi- hello, I didn’t see you there.  Welcome to late Wednesday evening.  Your Bachelor Recap is ready.  Sorry it took me exactly the same amount of time that it took me last time to get it up.  That’s what she said.

{Continue reading…}

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