BACHELOR RECAP PART 1: The Finale | MYTH: If a man owns a winery, it means that man is a pillar of society.

Now is as good a time as any to tell you that I’m having a lot of trouble processing the cloaks factor of Monday night’s episode.  I’m anxious to get to it.  Pray this entire recap isn’t riddled with references to cloaks and types of people who wear capes, because it’s sort of the dominant gene in this pool right now.

I AM SO GLAD IT’S OVER.  This guy is the dictionary definition of a drag of a human being who is less properly equipped for finding love than Bambino’s balls are equipped for making new Bambinos.  But I’ll pity a ball-less (ballsless?  balllless?) Bambino who’s none the wiser before I’ll feel even an ounce of pity for a privileged winemaker who lists among his allergies Quality Ladies and My Own Tears.  I feel like Ben should go on to write a book entitled, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Assholes.”  I think it would be a New York Times best-seller for how accurate and effective it is for becoming an asshole.

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BACHELOR RECAP EPISODE 6 – PART TWO | A scrapbook and a romper walk into a bar.

Hello and welcome to your early Monday morning edition of The Bachelor Recap of Episode 6, Part 2.  Yeah, this is happening.  I know, right?  I can’t believe it either.

Ok.  I want to start off with a couple of important notes/corrections regarding your Episode 6 recap, in order from least to MOST important.

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BACHELOR RECAP EPISODE 6 – PART ONE……………… Ben is a National Treasure.

OMG that took forever right?  I’m such a batch.

Happy super late in the evening on Thursday, friendlies.  Actually that’s wrong– I think the clock just STRUCK MIDNIGHT, so what I meant to say is good morning on Friday!  Oh, quick note about Ben’s hair, I asked him to cut it and here’s how he reacted (such a whittle behbeh)–

Ok, NOW, hello and welcome to your episode six Bachelor recap, lovers.  Part 1.  I know you’ve been waiting a while for this, {Continue reading…}

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BACHELOR RECAP EPISODE 5: “He’s Just Not That Into Love.” | Have You Ever Asked Yourself… WWDGD?

Someone needs to go and tell these women to start emoting on this show.  I feel like all I see are poker faces.

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BACHELOR RECAP | EP 4: KILL ME NOW. The Episode That Confirms Ashley Made the Right Decision Last Season.

I hated this episode.  I hated it sooo much.  So, so much.  There were so many markedly more enjoyable things I could have been doing with my time, such as but not limited to: cuddzing with Honey; cuddzing with Bambino; cuddzing with Bambino and Honey and therefore HAVING A BALL; douching; talking to my uncle on the phone about his conquests early on in life; loitering in a dark alley without clothes; watching “Beaches;” touching myself (that one belongs at the front of the pack, methinks); and going to bed early.  But I didn’t do any of those things.  I watched this stupid show.  And I regret it wholeheartedly.

Anyway, where were we.

Last week, we learned that Ashley made the right decision.  We also learned that Ben is probably regretting not having tried harder to transform into JP, before Ashley made her decision.

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SHORT DRESS LOVE + THE BACHELORETTE | When it comes to the wedding day, is a short dress… acceptable?


Good afternoon, darlings!  I hope I’m posting this one late enough; it’s 6:00 PM EST, and I uhhh, well, I think you know what that means…

.. Before I tell you what it means, let me just mention real quick that this post is actually about wearing a short dress on your wedding day, so I’m excited to hear what your opinions are on that…

Ok, now, here’s what it means: {Continue reading…}

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MY PERSONAL LIFE | On the launch, relationships, communication and the reality show “My Big Friggin’ Wedding.”

Next week something BIG is happening.  And I’m not talking about Thanksgiving. ;)  More on that later ok alright it’s the launch you got me!!!!!!!!!!!  More on that tomorrow.  Wheeeeeeee!

More on the above in a few minutes…

But first, this…

I like to think that I look on the bright side of things.  I get that from my Mother.  For example, {Continue reading…}

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