KNOTTY BACHELOR RECAPS | When Will It Be Ryan Gosling’s Season. | “So Many Beautiful Women, Who Also Seem to Be Intelligent, Funny, and Witty…”

hey it’s me.

I realize the show’s about to start in about an hour.  But I committed myself to this and DAMNIT, WHAT I PROMISE I DELIVER.

Sometimes I’m like, do I like this.

Or does the pinot like this.   {Continue reading…}

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BACHELOR RECAP | EP 4: KILL ME NOW. The Episode That Confirms Ashley Made the Right Decision Last Season.

I hated this episode.  I hated it sooo much.  So, so much.  There were so many markedly more enjoyable things I could have been doing with my time, such as but not limited to: cuddzing with Honey; cuddzing with Bambino; cuddzing with Bambino and Honey and therefore HAVING A BALL; douching; talking to my uncle on the phone about his conquests early on in life; loitering in a dark alley without clothes; watching “Beaches;” touching myself (that one belongs at the front of the pack, methinks); and going to bed early.  But I didn’t do any of those things.  I watched this stupid show.  And I regret it wholeheartedly.

Anyway, where were we.

Last week, we learned that Ashley made the right decision.  We also learned that Ben is probably regretting not having tried harder to transform into JP, before Ashley made her decision.

{Continue reading…}

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WEDDING CAKE OBSESSION | You will die when you see this…

Ok, first, two things, then we’ll get back to the amazecakes:

I feel like I never get to plop down in front of the ol’ tele and veg out anymore – I try to catch a few useless time-wasters, aka, The Hills and The Bachelorette, when I can, but I feel like it’s a chore to wade through the fluff, mainly because it is all fluff.  Well, that’s a lie about The Hills.  Not the all fluff part, the chore part.  I know some of you caught a late night tweet last week that spoke to a certain last-minute rental car, a certain rushed ride home, and a certain half-hour reality show that airs Tuesdays at 10PM EST (true story).  Anyway, this week we were smart enough to tape that little fake-tanned indulgence of ours, and when I was about to turn it off, I saw the beginning of a commercial for a new MTV show (what?  No, I don’t watch MTV, pshhh).  Actually, it was after watching that crappity crap crap Downtown Girls (don’t judge me).  Anyway, the new show that totally caught my eye and piqued my curiosity is called “If You Really Knew Me,” and it premieres July 20 I believe.  And OMIGOD it is the experiment I’ve always dreamed of conducting.  Always.  DREAMED.

MTV describes it as “a documentary series that breaks down the walls of cliques in high school and brings kids together.”  I honestly don’t see how this could go wrong.  This is perfect… I mean, from the previews it’s almost unreal the kind of heart-wrenching material they actually address.  I’m just hoping it doesn’t turn into something useless and dumb.  Oh wait, I seem to be a fan of that.  So it looks like I’ll watch either way.

In other news, I’m shooting guns tonight.  Yup!  No, I’m not kidding.  I’m shooting guns tonight.  Over on the West Side, ya heard?  I dare you to show up.  (Please don’t; you may die.  I have never held a gun before in my life.)  Don’t worry, I have not suddenly jumped aboard the Palin train, and I am not a card-carrying member of the NRA.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  But the Fancy thought this would be fun, and I am going to admit that I was pensive for a hot second, and then psyched for all the days leading up to this afternoon’s approaching experience.  Oh how I cannot wait to share with you how it goes.  Is it weird that I’m disappointed that I won’t be able to hold a glock?  First timers are allowed to use only rifles.  Do they think they’re saving lives by limiting the firearm selection of newbies?  THIS IS A SHOOTING RANGE.  Depending on how you look at it, these places are breeding grounds for widespread, swift killing.  But, ok, I’ll take my rifle and shut my picky mouth.  (By the way, I cannot believe I’m doing this.  So scared… so, so scared…)

* * *

Ok now.  First, check out this painting, by Wayne Thiebaud.

Now… Check. Out. This. Cake spread.

I bet they’re starin’ at those cakes; I would be…

I know, RAD.  I’ve had these beauties in a folder on my comp for like EVER.  I pretty much thought about featuring them every other day – I honestly have no idea what took me so long.  You wouldn’t believe how much eye candy I have stored away in folders… you seriously wouldn’t believe it.

Seriously.

I have so many images in folders and so many tabs open in my browsers (yup, plural) that it’s not even funny anymore.  ANYWHO, back to cakes: The set-up, which is the work of the fantastic Ana’s Creative Bakery, was inspired by the iconic Wayne Thiebaud painting.  Isn’t it magnificent?  In the famous words of bluegrass singer Alison Krauss, the bride who thought this up is “My New Favorite.”

And just because I’m feeling a little light on the eye candy today, here are a few more delightful details from that wedding:

A few words from Kate Harrison:

Lisa & Drew live life to the fullest: adventure, zest, laughter, love…you name it. They are such a delight to be around and their wedding rocked my world. A Thiebaud inspired cake table?? The best ever. (Giddy!) Outdoor adventure themes everywhere?? Amazing. I was totally in love. It was a coupling of my dreams: the adorable Lisa & Drew & my hippie/bright-little-cake-loving heart. (And check out those science cookies!)

Sorry, science cookies, coming right up:

Lisa + Drew wedding / Photography: Kate Harrison / Venue: Nestldown / Caterer (paella!): PSRT / Cake: Ana’s Creative Bakery / Flowers: La Lavande / Hair & Makeup: Mary Moorehouse

Ok, my friends… what are your thoughts on these masterpieces?

By the way – just WAIT… WAIT until you see what I’ve got in store for you in tomorrow’s Fab Finds.  Just wait.

xoxo!  -Alison

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SUBMIT YOUR PROPOSAL STORY | Plus: Things With Which I’m Obsessed…

This space in my heart is in the shape of you.  No one else can fit in.  Why would I want them to?  – Jeanette Winterson

That quote is from the wedding stationery of one of the couples I’ve featured below.  And I adore it.

* * *

Hello and happy Tuesday, peeps!  More on that beautiful bedroom scene above in a minute.  Now, listen up, my georgishmorgies!

As a wedding blogger, I read about and hear proposal stories all the goshdarn day.  And you know what?  I’m getting really sic… just kidding.  I quite like it.  No, I LOVE IT.  And it’s come to the point where I seriously want some more of it.

Which brings me to my first order of news: word of this has circulated around the Twittersphere quite a bit already, but I’d like to formally announce it today, on zee blog.  I’m planning to do a series on proposal stories from you guys – that’s right, my dear readers! – and submissions are being accepted, yo.  I am so excited about the stories I’ve received already, and I just KNOW there are some pretty amazing/fun/romantic/long-planned stories still sitting out there in your minds, waiting to be featured.  So, if you’d like to be considered for a proposal feature on The Knotty Bride, by all means, have at it!  Be as talkative/detail-oriented/short and sweet/foul-mouthed as you’d like.  (To the foul-mouthed: ye shall be edited, slightly… but not as much as you might expect.)

The bare necessities… the simple, bare necessities:

1. The story of how your lover proposed (yes, I just linked to that hilarity again, thank you very much).

2. Photos from your engagement session or, if you did not have an e-session, high quality images of you and your beloved.  Note: a photo (taken by anyone) of the site of the proposal is preferred, but not required.

3. Submit to theknottybride{@}gmail.com – I’m looking forward to reading them!

* * *

And now, as promised, I present to you some things with which I’m OBSESSED:

This ruffled quilt from west elm… not to mention the ENTIRE BEDROOM DESIGN APPROACH going on at the tippy top of this post.  Oh how I covet all of what’s going on here.

-♡-

You remember that Winterson quote that started us off, today?  It’s courtesy of Laura and Dave, the couple involved in this wedding, which was photographed by One Love Photo and planned by Married & More with Michelle:


By the way, there are tall, slender trees on the beaches in Seattle?  Umm, that’s awesome.

Adore.


-♡-

Totally obsessing over this twinkle cuff and statement hair accessory, both from fashion designer and Project Runway finalist, Carol Hannah Whitfield.  (Check out her shop!)

-♡-

This wedding, by Audrey Hannah, for these ring-related reasons:

And this wedding, also by Audrey Hannah, for the beautiful crying, striking eyes and detail love below:

Note: this is so what would be going down between my Mom and me.  SO.  Except this bride’s crying face is cute.  Mine?  Not so much.

-♡-

This show.  Because she and I have the same first name.  And that’s the only reason.  By the way, Frank seems nice; I like his passion.  And I haaaaaaaaate the R.I. lawyer.  Haaaaaaaaaate.  Plus he calls her sweetie, like, twice, the moment he meets her.  He’s creepy and conceited and she shall not pick him. Also, Kasey sounds like he has a family of frogs in his throat.  WHAT IS UP with that.

-♡-

Aaaaand finally, this color palette (when I saw the below on Etsy, my mind went wild with wedding color scheme inspiration.  I cannot begin to tell you how perfect these colors are… please consider them… you will make my year):

Ok, let the proposal submissions begin!  Remember, send your stories/photos to theknottybride{@}gmail.com -  thanks!

By the way, I’d love to know what you think of these random finds… I just loved so much today, I couldn’t choose just one thing to share!  Any faves?

xoxo!  -Alison

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CELEBRITY WEDDING LOVE | Who: Jason Mesnick & Molly Malaney | When: Feb. 27 | Where: Terranea Resort in Ranchos Palos Verdes, CA.

As you may remember, I was pretty shocked/impressed by the evident success of this rather unlikely couple.  And now look – they’re married.  I guess love truly does conquer all – even when one of the lovers totally chose a different chick, got sick of her, and then went back to the other one, because he’s got an overblown sense of entitlement.  Well, it’s either love conquers all, or they’re both seriously insecure and thrive in codependent relationships.

Buuuut… all’s well that ends well.  I’m happy for them!  Truly.  (And she’s so cute, isn’t she?  Great eyes – remember how he loved her eyes?  That is, before he CHOSE A DIFFERENT GIRL TO BE HIS LIFE PARTNER.  Just sayin.)

It rained… uggh.  But they definitely didn’t let it get them down.  Still, here’s my suggestion: don’t try to prove you’re one of those girls who likes camping, when you don’t actually like camping.  Standing without cover as pre-tsunami (yes, there was a tsunami warning) rain pelts down on your very expensive hairdo and spray-on tan isn’t going to make people think you’re low maintenance.  So, please, don’t make it your goal.  Just do YOU.  I should add, even girls who like camping would yell for an umbrella during their wedding ceremony!!!!!

… Have I mentioned, umbrellas are great?  I have a red one and I luuuurve it.  During sun showers it casts this striking red hue in a one foot radius around me; makes me feel all warm and happy.  Red umbrellas – highly recommended for good spirits.

I adore these shots, below.  Oh, and that dress?  That’s $45,000 worth of Monique Lhuillier, custom designed for Molly.  Lucky gal.

This looks a lot more like a Bachelor/Bachelorette reunion special than a wedding.  Though I suspect you’re much more willing to put up with things like that when the network is footing the bill.

***

Quick note: a little boy is mysteriously absent from all of these photos.  Wondering why.  I certainly hope this isn’t the case, but I’ve been to a wedding where the child of one partner was kept from attending her father’s wedding to a new bride, due to obviously unresolved issues between the groom and former partner.  Let’s hope something else is at work here.  Maybe he was just napping?

Photography by Aaron Delesie

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