DEAR TKB: “I Think I Need More Sex Than My Partner… What Do I Do?” PLUS: Royal Baby News (UPDATED) & Would You Wear This Sheer Wedding Dress? | NSFW

Clearly I have a lot to talk about.


Today’s letter for our Dear TKB advice column is the first I’ve received of its kind, but the issue the reader is facing is turning out to be a lot more common than I think we as a culture realize.  Friends of ours have gone through it.  I’ve been through it myself in the past.  Lots of taboo around it but there shouldn’t be!

Obvs. the goal with these posts is to have some real conversation about stuff that’s otherwise difficult to talk about, for some.  I’m looking forward to reading your thoughts and advice, if you have any you’re willing to offer!

Ok now,  {Continue reading…}

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“Dear TKB: Help! My sister is about to marry a man she’s never kissed!” | Plus: OMFG, THESE DRESSES.


So the concerned half-sister of a virgin bride wrote in recently for advice, and I’ve made her question the focus of today’s post.  It prompts the broader question for today:  Do you think it’s important to have sex with your partner before marrying that partner? 

As usual, {Continue reading…}

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ALISON LOVES | Martha Stewart Weddings is seeking 2 brides-to-be for a special reason… are you who they’re looking for?

[Opportunity now closed; more in the future, of course.] I just ended a blog title in a preposition so, it’s been that kind of day.  Good thing I have this opportunity to share with you, it really brings a huge toothy smile to my face OMG I SWEAR TO YOU, PUN NOT INTENDED.  God you’ll never believe me though.  Meh.

Last day for casting: Friday 3/15/2013

If getting a great smile for nothin’, blogging for Martha Stewart Weddings online AND appearing in Martha Stewart Weddings magazine all together appeal to your sensibilities, then this one my dear friend, this one’s definitely for you (everyone reads on including me…)

I know I know.  It’s an awkward thing to talk about your mouth.

Really, when it comes down to it, you’re not human if you don’t want to have a really nice smile; one that you’ll feel like people wanna look at (oh god the grammar today, I am so sorry you guys).. it’s just the way it is.  And since not everyone has the time or the money or the 100% lack of abject fear, all of which are necessary, in unison, to engage in the bettering of one’s chomper situation, things like this beauty suddenly come into play and are truly lifesavers.  (Quick story: I literally waited 3 years before my most recent teeth-cleaning couple months ago – don’t do that btw, was not a picnic – and I had approximately a lot of cavities it turned out.  I was SHOCKED.  You need to keep those teeth on the up and up, guys!)

Anyway, I felt visceral excitement when we were presented with this partnership, and I certainly felt great about bringing it to the blog’s big fat pink face.  I hope some people who are searching for this kind of experience get to read this post!  It’s a personal thing for me because I know from experience how life-changing a good straight coupla rows of teeth can be/do to change your world.  It’s beyond words and measure.

Now I realize I’m being a little repetitive but here’s all the info written out, if you’re not into images-with-text-information-in-them…

We’re Looking for Two Brides-to-Be!

Martha Stewart Weddings is looking to cast two brides-to-be who would like to straighten their teeth before their wedding to participate in this exciting initiative.  If chosen, you will:

·         Receive free professional treatment from a well-known company to straighten your teeth.

·         Be a regular guest-blogger on and appear in Martha Stewart Weddings magazine to share your experiences getting ready for your wedding.

To be considered for this opportunity, please email the following to

  • Your name
  • Wedding date
  • City of residence
  • 2-3 photos of your yourself (at least one showing your smile)
  • A few sentences about why you’d like to participate.

Last day for casting: Friday 3/15/2013

We look forward to hearing from you!

- The team at Martha Stewart Weddings

I’m just curious.  Have any of you ever had some work done to your teeth, like braces (raises hand) or whatever other work there is for teeth?  The change was phenomenal, right?  Changes your whole disposition.  Aright I’ll shut up now.

xx, and good luck my friendlies..


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OUTDOOR WEDDING & DEAR TKB: Peonies + Ruffles + Birch + Lace = GIMME | Cassandra Eldridge Photography

I love this wedding so much that I’ve added it to my spank bank.  For when I just need to relax with some wedding with nobody around judging me.

You think it’s by accident that I’m a wedding blogger?

Ok so this wedding you’re about to inhale {Continue reading…}

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GIRL TALK: I can’t wait to have a baby/potentially lose everything I hold dear aside from that baby.

Ah, babies.

Aren’t they the worst?  Jk, jk, I love babies, I do.  They smell like warm pancakes on a crisp November morning while sitting in a room full of babies.

Oo did you hear?  Kate Middleton’s having one.  I heard she’s so excited she can’t stop throwing up.  Every morning.

Recently another friend of ours announced she was pregnant – I can’t wait to touch her baby.  I know that sounds weird but I look forward to handling her baby constantly.  So yeah– that makes approximately everyone we know, is pregnant.  Or is pregnant and already has children.

No pressure.

{Continue reading…}

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TOP 10 EMBARRASSING THINGS ABOUT ME | The Holidays Are Here! Studies Show Couples Fight Approximately a Shit Ton During This Time. Let Me Distract You From It.

Yeah so I just thought I’d start off this post with some cheery pictures a la up top from the last few days, since we’re about to get into some heavy shit here.   {Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB: “So, I’m a little scared of marriage right now…” + A BRIDE & HER CAKE | Kristi Wright Photography

These question and answer posts are steadily becoming my favorite types of posts.  You guys submit some really intense (AND CHALLENGING FOR ME) questions.  Crossing my fingers every time I answer one of these things, since you just really never know.    {Continue reading…}

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PERSONAL + DEAR TKB: “My first marriage was a sham… I feel guilty.” PLUS: My Issue with HGTV’s House Hunters.

This past week has been a toughie.

I could really go for some Dawson’s Creek repeats right now.  I think Katie and Suri would agree with me.  Actually- serious question: wtf is the hold up on the Dawson’s Creek repeats.  Why can I not yet realize my loftiest dream of watching back-to-back episodes of DC whilst Bambino and I inhale veggie chips on top of my covers alone in the dark?

{Continue reading…}

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REAL BOUDOIR + TIPS + M’PUPPY | Would you shoot a boudoir session in the middle of THIS PLACE? | Chelsea Maras Photography

Hey guys!  Happy Thursday afternoon to your entire collective face.  Ok so in this post we’ve got three things:

  • a boudoir shoot
  • tips for rocking it right
  • my puppy, Bambino Wigglestein McPuppypants, III, Esquire

I included my puppy because you guys like me to include pictures of my puppy, but also because: {Continue reading…}

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GIRL TALK + DEAR TKB | How Fear Keeps You From Having the Relationship You Deserve. (We Explore, How the Fantasy of ‘Real Love’ is Hurting Modern Relationships)

Sometimes, we can start to feel a little lost.

{Continue reading…}

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‘ALISON LOVES’ SPOTLIGHT: Honeymoon Pixie = My New Favorite Registry Idea, HANDS DOWN.

Ummmm.  This thing I’m about to blog about below, is sort of exactly the kind of thing the wedding world needs.  In my humble opinion.

Well here, lemme ask YOU: {Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB: Is it wrong that I want to have sex… THERE? Plus: Am I Alone in This? Another Weird Thing I Do…

Me on the subway, whenever I listen to music…


Feeling fine, breathing normal.  Confident.

EARBUDS IN:  {Continue reading…}

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My Top 5 Fave Relationship Tips, My Top 13 Last Minute Mother’s Day Gifts, and Why That TIME Magazine Attachment Parenting/Breastfeeding Cover Is Such a Drag.

Happy Saturday, folks!  This post was originally titled ‘That time I washed my hair with puppy shampoo and liked it’ but someone downstairs started practicing the theme to Star Wars on their picolo, so as you can imagine I got a little distracted by how Fifty Shades of Nerd that is and ended up meandering into other lanes of mind traffic.  At first I thought they were playing the intro to {Continue reading…}

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THE BIRD & THE BEAR | This Is How You Rock a Field Shoot, SON. | By Feather & Twine Photography

(little intro addendum before I get into it…) it happened.  Again.  I can hardly believe it.  In just over a year of living here, we’ve now had four couples break up on the sidewalk under our window sill.  I don’t know why this is happening, but I’m going to assume it has less to do with some kind of bad luck we may be spraying onto pedestrians from our window, and more to do, possibly, with the safety our block offers people who might feel a need to go insane and run around and yell and scream and cry and collapse and run around and yell again.  We have a pretty safe block, car-wise.  But anyway, it breaks my heart when couples come to verbal fisticuffs, it really does.  But one request of the next couple who decides to have it out on our avenue… can you please NOT do it between 12 and 3am?  The yelling, you guys.  I mean.  It’s like– do you HAVE to yell at one another, and for a full two hours?  Especially when it’s this?–

“NO don’t tell me I’m a f**king child and that I should go home!!  I’ll be 18 in TWO DAYS!!!!  Don’t tell me I’m a f**king CHILD!!!!”

That quote from the girlfriend outside would be hilarious if it wasn’t so darn stupid and sad.  Also, I yell for one minute and I completely lose my voice; I don’t get how you keep going, but I do know enough to know that yelling is the last thing that’s going to help your relationship.  Sigh.  Whatever, I’m just super tired from not sleeping last night as a result.  Plus, I’m one of those people who feels other people’s energies, so I’m flatlining a little today.  It is what it is I guess.  Aright sorries, back to your regularly scheduled blogramming….

Hey guyyyyys :)  Wussup, how’s it hangin.  Having a good day?  I hope so, I truly do.

Ok now that I’ve buttered you up… I’ve been thinking recently that I {Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB + PUPPIES, GOSSIP ‘n’ POLE DANCING FOR SPORT | Miss M: “My maid of honor is making my engagement experience terrible.”

Bambino has a lot of ‘Rose from Titanic laying seductively in the nude while being painted by her love interest‘ moments, during the day.

So much so, that we’ve decided to give in to what is clearly an innate talent and take his career in a new direction.  I didn’t tell you guys this, but he’s been looking for work ever since I fired him as my assistant a while back, because he was spending more time acting like he was being productive when I would walk by his cubicle, than actually doing any work.  It was like, do you work for The Knotty Bride, or do you work for the people who created the Words with Friends app? because you’re on that iphone every time I look over at your desk.

It was enough.

So, since {Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB: “I feel like my bridesmaid is trying to upstage my day… and I can’t understand why she would do this.”

Happy Tuesday afternoon, folks!  Alison here, blogging from the lovely Las Vegas at WPPI, and kind of wishing I didn’t have to go back to NY after THIS AMAZING WEATHER OUT HERE.  I mean… people LIVE like this, in nice weather most of the year?  I am officially addicted to the sunshine.

Ok, moving right along, today’s question from a reader is a doozie, not to mention, a not-so-unusual problem brides can have.  I’d love to hear your thoughts for Miss E., and if you have any advice for her!  As always, I’m just one li’l ol’ person in a sea of advice-having people, and I think Miss E will appreciate whatever you may have to say.  Alrighty, here we go…..

{Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB: His parents are VERY wealthy 
and are expecting a grand wedding for their only child… but they want my family to foot the bill. | Also… Bambino Returns.

Hello to your faces on this formerly sunshiny (where I live) Tuesday afternoon/eveningish.  In today’s random news, my Dad sent me a picture text asking me to choose one of three puppy vests for Bambino WITH THE QUICKNESS.  So it’s official now, Bambino is going to experience winter as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.  If you were ever wondering if I make this stuff up…

{Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB: “I am at my wit’s end. The situation with my parents has gotten out of control…” | REAL LIFE ISSUES

123four. five. 678nine. ten. ELEVEN. TWELVE. 


Aright, SO!  Happy Wednesday evening to your faces n stuff.  Listen, I will have you know that I am very, very excited for today’s question.  Of course by excited I actually mean totally emotionally distraught and angry that effing people keep effing acting this way towards their own effing children.

{Continue reading…}

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DEAR TKB | “What do you do when someone you love loses control?” I was extremely hesitant to publish this post. But my hesitation just confirmed that I had to do it.

Let’s start light, on this lovely Wednesday evening.  With a fact…

Whenever Honey says “You know what’s funny?” I go “YA FACE.”  It’s a knee-jerk reaction but I think I’m gonna stop doing that.

You know why?  Because when I’m sick like right now he goes and he does this:

{Continue reading…}

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“THE FIRST FOUR WORDS DESCRIBE YOU” + REAL TALK | I have discovered the wedding trend of my ironic, hipster dreams. Also, Kim Kardashian is my hero?

Oh hello there, everyone.  Happiest of afternoons to your faces!  I hope your day is going pleasantly… is this something I can safely assume?  Do you mind if I just go ahead and assume it?  Great.  Ok, here comes me talking…

I’ve got something very serious to talk about today, and it’s about being true to myself, as well as finally putting something to rest.

But FIRST, I saw this on the Today Show this morning and wanted to share it with you.  Look at the smiley face built out of words below.  The first four words you notice are supposed to be descriptive of you and your personality.  Ok, GO:

{Continue reading…}

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REAL WEDDING ISSUES | “Alone. Hands shaking. Eyes closed. Mouth open.” A guest’s biggest fear is to screw up someone else’s wedding. We present… “The Rip.”

Happy evening, my loves!  Quick fyi – that gorgeous bride above?  Not the bride from today’s story.  Isn’t she adorable, though?!!  Her expression is priceless; I couldn’t NOT use this image for this post.  Her wedding is coming up very soon on TKB.  You’re gonna love the crap out it, just so you know.

Here’s the question I have for you, when you’re done reading this post or if it’s Shark Week and you’re feeling impatient… Do you have any fears about something going wrong on your – or a sibling’s or friend’s – wedding day?

Ok SO… Whew!  AMIRITE?  Yesterday was prettyyyyyyyy pretttyyyyyyyy emotional, for most of you guys and absopositutely for me.  But I liked it, too.  Felt good, felt right.  Glad we did it.  You see I always second-guess myself a little when I venture into the territory of getting more personal with you guys on the blog.  It’s me delicately shoving extremely personal life stuff that has my extremely personal emotions attached to it, into the huge, gaping orifice (←uhhh) of The Internet, for the entire world to see.  I’m always like, {Continue reading…}

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CHILL DIY WATERSIDE WEDDING OF MY DREAMS + DEAR TKB: “Veil? Or no veil. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” | Photography by M David Media | Also, The Bambeeen.

You guys.  The only thing I think this wedding needs is maaaaybe more cowbell.  But that’s really it.

Ok let me just get the niceties out of the way, I’m not a barbarian.  So, happy Friday afternoon, pretties!  Love ya faces!  Are those hotpants you’re wearing?  Oooohh you are en fuego!  Mama like.  Ok, DONE.   {Continue reading…}

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