The Knotty Bride is Hiring, Bitchez! Also: My Top 10 Favorite Baby Animal Boops, Because Why Not.

>> This position has been filled; thank you to all those who applied! <<

I’m not literally *hiring bitches*, I’m… whatevs, you understand.  ANYWHO, SO…

I’m trying to cut back on my use of exclamation points (current use level: through the roof).  Let’s see how far I can make it.

Happy afternoon/evening, friendlies! DAMNIT.  Anyway you may have noticed that I’ve not been your typical Alison lately.  Meaning, I haven’t been tweeting sunrise to sunset and my blogging pace has gone from a deliberate gallop, to that thing at track meets where you walk really fast and then somehow medal, despite having just walked in a race.  What is that called- ‘fastwalking?’  Racewalking?*  Who cares- the good news is I finally get to explain to you what is really going on.

{*please, no racewalking letters.}

See that lower left image up there, with the beams – {Continue reading…}

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YUMMIES + MO’ STYLIN | The Cream Recap, Part 2: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Cream.

Happy afternooeeeveningish, friendly faces, and welcome.  To the yummy in your tummy Part 2.

After you’ve scrolled through the whole enchilada below, I’d sure love to hear what you liked!

Now, it doesn’t have to be one thing you liked… it can be, for example, two things.  Even three things – though NOT four things – I’ll allow five things, you’ve got to be f**king kidding me if it’s six things, but I think seven things would make sense.  Eight things.  Nine things and I will take offense.  I could be talked into ten things, however eleven things???  GTFO of my face with that offer.  OMG 12 things would be so hilarious, DO IT I BEG YOU.  If you come at me with 13 things I will hack into your Facebook and set your relationship status to “It’s Complicated.”  14 things?  REALLY?   Don’t you dare say 14 things.  15 things is alright.

Okie dokie, I hope my hostile threats haven’t changed things between us!  I just… I have my things.  Get a little controlling sometimes… anywho!  Let’s get started, shall we?  

ENGAGE PART TWO {Continue reading…}

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The Cream Event New York + BIG ANNOUNCEMENT…

The Cream is happening right here in my neck of the woods, right where there are no woods, or, New York City.  So that idiom doesn’t apply.  But WHATEVER you are coming to this event, right?

Here’s their site to perrrruuuuuse.  As if this requires convincing.  Oh and surprise = I’mma have a table.  So I wanna meet ya FACES, and you, mine.  Warning: I’m just as effusive and weird as you think I am.  However, I’m shy at the outset.  So I seriously welcome butt slaps to ease me into a conversation.  Please though, just not too hard, the butt slaps.  Here- think “congratulations, female teammate!” butt slap intensity, and NOT “what was our safe word again!?!?!” level butt slap intensity.  If I scream and then karate chop you in the shoulder, you’ll know you’ve gone too far.

Aright, so buy your tickets here, to meet the cream of the crop in weddings… but HURRY UP, I’m not trying to push you I’m literally telling you that they’re almost sold out.  And FYI: if you miss this event, you will live to regret it.  I won’t hunt you down or anything, you’ll just one day realize that you didn’t get to party with everyone you respect in weddings (not including me, I curse and wear Bar Mitzvah t-shirts to work every day; I am not to be respected).

Come party with us!  It’s too cheap to miss!

Did I mention The Knotty Bride will have a table?  Oh, I did?  Oh right.  Anyway at least come say hello to me.  And be sure to let me know if you’re going, so I can look out for you.  yayYUH!

xoxo, Alison

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